Long-time no see, readers! I’ve been preoccupied with random distractions, it seems. Such is life, I am afraid.
I’ve recently decided to leave social media services for good, which wasn’t an easy decision to make. I’d made a few failed attempts to do so in the past, attempts that usually ended with me falling off the wagon due to my fairly isolated lifestyle. What has cemented this final closure of my accounts is an increasing realisation that the social landscape of the internet has changed, rather radically, over a number of years. It was a slow and subtle change, but a change that I’ve felt the effects of quite strongly, leading me to want to make my own change.
While there were many exceptions, I feel that, when its boom began in the mid-90s, the internet was a haven for awkward nerds, like myself, who found it difficult to connect with people out in the “real world”. They were generally passive, rational and logical folk, with open hearts and minds. Most importantly, they were lonely and sought the company of others like themselves. For people like me, that first ten years or so was a utopia. I met many friends, some of whom I met in person, including my ex-girlfriend.
So, what’s changed? Well, getting onto the internet used to be a fairly tricky affair. You needed a computer and an internet connection, neither of which were cheap and easy to set up. You had to really want to get online. Those who weren’t really that bothered were content with driving their cars to meet their already-established social circle in person. Now, anyone with a phone can access the internet and insinuate themselves amongst the online community, including some very hostile, irrational and illogically-minded people. It is no longer a haven for lonely souls wishing to make a connection with other people. It has become a battleground for attention and self-righteousness.
This is where my decision to leave social media comes in.
My general approach to posting online over the years has been to write relatable, witty and interesting anecdotes about my life that might provoke a discussion. I would also post about my varying cultural interests, but overall it would be stories about my personal comings and goings. However, I slowly became concerned that, not only was I boring people, but I may even be annoying them and embarrassing myself.
There is also something that I would describe as my "self-service checkout theory". Simply put, from personal observations, a self-service checkout takes longer to use than standing in a queue and waiting to be served by an actual member of staff. This feels similar to social media, in that we have all come to believe that, by simply adding people to our friends lists, we are staying in touch with them. This, like the belief that the self-service checkout is somehow quicker, is merely an illusion. There still needs to be some sort of interaction to happen, but we have become unwilling to do so. In fact, if you do attempt to chat, even if you were not the one to make initial contact (friend requests and all that), then people are simply confused. So now we have a case of: "That guy I went to school with thirty years ago is now in my friends list, so we must be the best of friends again!". No. This is no longer enough. For me, at least. I want to talk.
To add to these thoughts and concerns, the new wave of internet users meant that many feeds became filled with arguments about politics and current affairs, baby-boomers gushing tediously over their toddlers, or enthusiasm about terrible, terrible, terrible superhero movies. None of which I can relate to. I don’t consider myself a snob (ok, maybe a little), but I have some taste, and pop culture now seems to have officially lost me. Or perhaps I have lost it. I am nearly 40, after all.
The political and current affairs stuff is quite important to note, as this has arrived with an aggression that I am very uncomfortable with. People claiming to be coming from a liberal and socially responsible place have begun to act like the fascists they apparently hate so much. The word “hate” there is quite crucial. To abuse, taunt and physically assault people for their beliefs, whatever they might be, and to incite others to do so, and to create an atmosphere of fear where people are afraid to express themselves, are acts of fascism. The “Never Stop Punching Nazis” movement and their ilk appear to be unaware of the grim irony of their own actions. There are no exceptions, and there are no excuses. No matter how righteous you believe yourself to be, this behaviour is wrong. Furthermore, negativity is being spread by people believing themselves to be doing good by disseminating it. They seem to feel that, by sharing news items or posts about things they don’t agree with, often with their own snide commentary attached, they will make the world a better place. This is untrue. All they are really doing is spreading hatred, and also adding to it. What a shame.
So, yes, I have voted with my feet and left the internet’s social landscape. For the most part. With any luck, other passive, peaceful, logical and soft-hearted liberals like myself will also become weary and follow my example, leaving only the rabid dogs to fight amongst themselves. Maybe those left will see the horror they have created and amend their ways to allow folk like me to return, but I shall not be holding my breath.
Until a new wind blows, I am finding a great deal of satisfaction in actually leaving my home and meeting people in person. My regular trips to the pub on weekday afternoons is my new social media. It used to be the other way around, whereby I would talk all day online then skulk off to sit quietly in the corner of a pub all by myself. Now the opposite is true. How very strange. But interesting.
Anyway, if you wish to have a chat, then do seek me out in an ale house somehow, somewhere, sometime. I’ll get the first round in, my friends.
Do stay in touch, and be excellent to each other.
Toodles!
