…oh I don’t know.
My low period of disinterest persists, which I’ve unwisely tried to “cure” with alcohol. I’m going to have to stop that though. I’m getting through each day in relatively good spirits, but having hope taken away from you by what’s happening in the news does, indeed, make it difficult to get out of bed in the morning. It sounds like my regular pub won’t be opening next week like many others, as the guidelines set out for hospitality services are too restrictive. Sigh. I wanted one thing.
I've done a little creative writing this week, which I always seem to run out of inspiration for. It's so frustrating. I know I have a novel or three in me, but my ever-changing mental state is such a handicap. What I started the other day is a fairly low-key drama, so maybe that'll be easy to stick too. I just need to make sure I write something each day, even if it's a paragraph. Self-discipline seems to be the key, but the one thing I'm lacking.
I’m talking more to my old gaming buddy, which is boosting my spirits, although he now says his TV’s died, which may just be a polite way of avoiding me. But that’s ok. I’m sure I’m just being paranoid, as we’re in text communication most days. I told those new gaming acquaintances that it’s best we don’t chat anymore, as our age difference has made me rather uneasy. I thought it wise to stick to people in my own age bracket. It’s a shame, as they’re a nice bunch and a good laugh, so making that decision depressed me for a few days. It’s definitely for the best though.
Apart from that, things have been pretty quiet. The bad weather has kept people indoors, so my street has been party free, thank goodness. Text communication with friends has been sporadic and brief, but enough to keep me buoyant. The only regular contact I seem to be having is with grocery or takeaway delivery people. Maybe I should ring a sex chat line just for a gossip. No kinky talk, just a friendly chin-wag. Maybe somebody’s already set something like that up – a lockdown chat line. Who knows. It’d be great if people were using hook-up apps like Grindr to meet up and stand within six feet of each other. No touching or nudity, just close proximity. At the moment that would be considered kinky.
I’ve not been reading much, but I have been buying in new DVD/Blu-rays to broaden my movie knowledge. This included Irvin Kershner’s The Eyes of Laura Mars, starring the fabulous Faye Dunaway. It’s a Hitchcockian thriller about a photographer who psychically sees through the eyes of a murderer as the murderer commits their crimes. It’s an entertaining film, but I just kept thinking how much better it would be if it was directed by Brian De Palma. Afterwards, I watched Dressed to Kill and sighed deeply at how wonderful it was. Kershner’s work on The Empire Strikes Back and Robocop 2 was fantastic but, yes, De Palma would have been more appropriate for Laura Mars. I actually guessed who the killer was early on, as they mention that the only people to have seen the crime scene photographs were the police. That kinda gave it away. Still, it’s worth watching, but a little more visual flare would have gone a long way. Oh, the late Raul Julia has a small role in it too, which automatically makes the whole thing better than 99% of other movies out there. Damn I miss that man.
I’ve decided to have a big ape binge for some reason, so I’ve invested in the 9-disc Planet of the Apes film boxset (which includes the recent reboot/prequel trilogy) and the short-lived 70s TV series. Apart from Franklin J. Schaffner’s 1968 original and Tim Burton’s blah remake, I’ve not seen any of these films. Actually, along with prison dramas and gangster biopics, films about animals generally count as one of my least favourite genres. I always make an exception for Schaffner though, including his great prison drama Papillon. So, yeah, I watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes yesterday, which I really enjoyed. I did watch the first half an hour of it years and years ago, but the laboratory stuff at the beginning annoyed me. It’s such an unrealistically fictitious environment, and nobody talks like I’m sure real pharmaceutical laboratory people talk. It’s a very silly place. But, no fear, after we move away from those opening scenes and James Franco takes Caesar home, things improve drastically. Why isn’t John Lithgow just in every movie ever made? Wouldn’t that make the world a much better place? I guess he’d get pretty tired after a while though, like that Treehouse of Horror episode of The Simpsons where Krusty’s forced to be on television 24/7. Anyway, I’ll be watching Dawn of the Planet of the Apes later on today, which I hear is very good.
I also bought Philip Kaufman’s version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, which actually seems to have inspired Shaun of the Dead more than Dawn of the Dead did. It’s a marvellously creepy film with great sound editing, and everybody’s wonderful in it. I was trying to work out who Brooke Adams reminded me of while I was watching it, then it came to me… Dredd’s very own Judge Anderson – Olivia Thirlby! It’s almost uncanny, like Jessica Harper and Ellen Page. But, yes, I’m glad I now have Kaufman’s film in my collection, as I remember catching it on telly probably when I was a teenager and loving it. Now it’s mine. Forever! Mwahahahaha! I shall include it in my collection of films featuring Veronica Cartwright screaming a lot. It’s quite a large collection, as you can imagine. She’s one of my all-time favourite people.
I finally got around to watching the LGBT drama Carol on Sunday, which I wasn’t too impressed with. Everybody, both cast and crew, are trying their asses off, except for the dull-as-a-plank-of-wood Rooney Mara. She’s so tragically miscast. Her character should have been bright eyed and full of youthful energy, invigorating Cate Blanchett’s titular Carol during her difficult divorce but, no, she’s a blank slate. There’s one scene where she shows some passion and it really stands out. Not because it’s good, but because it seems like such an effort for her. I’m not sure who I would have cast, but she brings the whole thing down, which showed when I realised I just didn’t care whether she and Carol got together at the end. You really should be rooting for your star-crossed lovers. But I didn’t. What a shame.
Well, I think that’s all for now. I best go watch talking apes having crazy adventures in the post-apocalypse. If you can think of something better to do, I’d like to hear it.
You can’t, can you? Didn’t think so.
Do stay in touch, you damned dirty apes.
Toodles!
Tuesday, 30 June 2020
Wednesday, 17 June 2020
Shrouded in blah
I’m feeling rather apathetic this week. Not depressed, per se, just lacking interest in doing, well, anything. This is rather worrying, especially for someone with such an eclectic range of hobbies such as myself. Maybe I should try picking up one of my guitars. I need to trim my nails first. Last night I just went and laid on my bed from around seven and stayed there until I fell asleep. I had hoped that, at some point, I’d have a second wind and get back up again but, nope, I remained in bed for twelve hours straight. Not bad going, for me. Lying there was nice, actually, as there was a major rain shower and thunderstorm, which are always nice to snuggle up to. There seemed to be a lot of people out and about, which is unusual for British people in wet weather. A bit of rain has been known to stop riots in London. Anyway, I had The Mysterious Cities of Gold to keep me company. I think I’m on the last episode now. Or second to last. The introduction of the alien-like Olmec characters is very bizarre, but that’s fine. I might try watching the new series again, as I’ve only gotten a few episodes in until now. My appreciation of the original 80s series is based more on nostalgia, I think. And, perhaps, the performance of the actor Shiraz Adam, who plays Esteban. He’s very energetic and endearing. Somebody actually managed to track him down recently and did an interview with him. It’s a frustratingly short interview (one wonders whether the interviewer doesn’t care much for the series), but it’s nice to know “Esteban” is still out there and doing well for himself.
I’m trying to think what else I’ve been up to. Even my brain seems to have given up on being interested in remembering things. Sigh. Oh yeah, I picked up my medication last week after finally getting my sleep pattern back on track. It’s been raining on and off for quite a while now, but the summer warmth is still in the air so, erm, you can imagine what that’s doing to the humidity levels. Luckily for me, humidity is my least favourite type of weather, so I’ve now got even more of an excuse not to go outside. Seriously, poop could be raining from the sky, but I'd still be all like "Well, at least it's not humid".
On that note...
I texted my ex yesterday, as we haven’t spoken much since all that drama last month. It sounds like she’s still off work and in touch with a crisis team. I’ve been keeping in touch with that mutual friend of ours, with whom I agree that there’s nothing much we can do for my ex right now (especially since we’re prone to depression ourselves). We’re still here if she needs help, but we can’t solve her problems for her.
There’s been no change regarding my gaming situation. I’m still appearing offline whenever I do switch on the PS4. My despondency has affected even playing the solo games I enjoy, so I think my new standalone DVD player is about to get a good workout. My old gaming buddy did text me over the weekend about some random stuff, but the conversation was pretty brief. At least he’s not annoyed with me because of my flirtatious behaviour the other week.
I cooked a nice curry the other night, which was an event because I used pork instead of beef, chicken or lamb. Shocking revelation, huh? I was looking into the history of the vindaloo, which is derived from a Portuguese dish called “Carne de vinha d'alhos”. The curry version often mistakes the “aloo” part of “vindaloo” as meaning “potato”, but it actually comes from the word “d’alhos” in the Portuguese name, which means “garlic” (with “vinha” meaning “wine”). Carne de vinha d'alhos sounds more like a sharing dish that’s served at Christmas, where you marinate some pork in white wine, garlic and chillies and serve it relatively dry with bread, which is very different from the Anglicised version of vindaloo, which is a sauce-based dish. I basically made something somewhere in between these two versions, by frying off the pork, then making a curry sauce out of red wine, garlic and chopped tomatoes. Along with this, I also added my usual vegetables and spices, but it’ll take a while to list all of those. It was very nice, I must say, and I’m now sold on using pork in curries. It just never occurred to me, before. If I do the dish again, I may use white wine instead, as I think that’s what the original Portuguese dish uses.
Oh, those nineteenth century Shakespeare books arrived, and I was very impressed. Their condition Is wonderful, relative to their age. The covers are slightly different to the one I’ve had for years, but I’m wondering whether it’s an extra layer that was removed from mine. I’ll have a play about. Still, it’s nice to have them altogether. It’s just a shame the one I’ve had for years is in such poor condition. Oh well. I also can't read any of these books now, thanks to my deteriorating eyesight, but that's another story.
I think I’m going to take a break from The Office, as my interest is starting to waver a bit. I’ve just started season four, and was a little let down by how uneventful it was when Jim and Pam finally got together. They kinda messed that one up. All the actors are starting to look a bit bored now. I know that’s the point of the show, but they really are. It’s a shame Rashida Jones left (I'll just pretend Karen Filippelli changed her name to "Ann Perkins", moved to Pawnee and became a nurse) and they kept that horrid Ed Helms guy. They’ve really pared his involvement down though, to the point where he now says about two lines per episode. No bad thing.
I bought the Blu-ray set of Stanley Kubrick’s key works. This is the third time I’ve bought them now – the first was the Region 1 set (back when Kubrick was refusing to release A Clockwork Orange in the UK), and then the Region 2 set, which also included Eyes Wide Shut and the A Life in Pictures documentary. This Blu-ray set omits Dr Strangelove, which is a shame, but it’s nice to have new copies. Those two older DVD sets are about twenty years old now too, and Warner Bros were pretty negligent with their early DVD releases, in my experience.
It sounds like the fourth of July might very well be the day the pubs open back up, which I’m really looking forward to. Pub culture is an integral part of British culture, so taking that out of everyone’s lives has had a bigger effect than has been let on in the news. Hopefully the humidity will have dissipated by then. The valley where I live has been shrouded in fog for a week now, which is only adding to my sense of isolation.
Well, I think I’ll leave things on that positive note. I hope you fine people are faring better than myself. Maybe by my next post my motivation will have returned. We shall see. I have enjoyed writing this though, so that’s something.
Do stay in touch, droogs.
Toodles!
I’m trying to think what else I’ve been up to. Even my brain seems to have given up on being interested in remembering things. Sigh. Oh yeah, I picked up my medication last week after finally getting my sleep pattern back on track. It’s been raining on and off for quite a while now, but the summer warmth is still in the air so, erm, you can imagine what that’s doing to the humidity levels. Luckily for me, humidity is my least favourite type of weather, so I’ve now got even more of an excuse not to go outside. Seriously, poop could be raining from the sky, but I'd still be all like "Well, at least it's not humid".
On that note...
I texted my ex yesterday, as we haven’t spoken much since all that drama last month. It sounds like she’s still off work and in touch with a crisis team. I’ve been keeping in touch with that mutual friend of ours, with whom I agree that there’s nothing much we can do for my ex right now (especially since we’re prone to depression ourselves). We’re still here if she needs help, but we can’t solve her problems for her.
There’s been no change regarding my gaming situation. I’m still appearing offline whenever I do switch on the PS4. My despondency has affected even playing the solo games I enjoy, so I think my new standalone DVD player is about to get a good workout. My old gaming buddy did text me over the weekend about some random stuff, but the conversation was pretty brief. At least he’s not annoyed with me because of my flirtatious behaviour the other week.
I cooked a nice curry the other night, which was an event because I used pork instead of beef, chicken or lamb. Shocking revelation, huh? I was looking into the history of the vindaloo, which is derived from a Portuguese dish called “Carne de vinha d'alhos”. The curry version often mistakes the “aloo” part of “vindaloo” as meaning “potato”, but it actually comes from the word “d’alhos” in the Portuguese name, which means “garlic” (with “vinha” meaning “wine”). Carne de vinha d'alhos sounds more like a sharing dish that’s served at Christmas, where you marinate some pork in white wine, garlic and chillies and serve it relatively dry with bread, which is very different from the Anglicised version of vindaloo, which is a sauce-based dish. I basically made something somewhere in between these two versions, by frying off the pork, then making a curry sauce out of red wine, garlic and chopped tomatoes. Along with this, I also added my usual vegetables and spices, but it’ll take a while to list all of those. It was very nice, I must say, and I’m now sold on using pork in curries. It just never occurred to me, before. If I do the dish again, I may use white wine instead, as I think that’s what the original Portuguese dish uses.
Oh, those nineteenth century Shakespeare books arrived, and I was very impressed. Their condition Is wonderful, relative to their age. The covers are slightly different to the one I’ve had for years, but I’m wondering whether it’s an extra layer that was removed from mine. I’ll have a play about. Still, it’s nice to have them altogether. It’s just a shame the one I’ve had for years is in such poor condition. Oh well. I also can't read any of these books now, thanks to my deteriorating eyesight, but that's another story.
I think I’m going to take a break from The Office, as my interest is starting to waver a bit. I’ve just started season four, and was a little let down by how uneventful it was when Jim and Pam finally got together. They kinda messed that one up. All the actors are starting to look a bit bored now. I know that’s the point of the show, but they really are. It’s a shame Rashida Jones left (I'll just pretend Karen Filippelli changed her name to "Ann Perkins", moved to Pawnee and became a nurse) and they kept that horrid Ed Helms guy. They’ve really pared his involvement down though, to the point where he now says about two lines per episode. No bad thing.
I bought the Blu-ray set of Stanley Kubrick’s key works. This is the third time I’ve bought them now – the first was the Region 1 set (back when Kubrick was refusing to release A Clockwork Orange in the UK), and then the Region 2 set, which also included Eyes Wide Shut and the A Life in Pictures documentary. This Blu-ray set omits Dr Strangelove, which is a shame, but it’s nice to have new copies. Those two older DVD sets are about twenty years old now too, and Warner Bros were pretty negligent with their early DVD releases, in my experience.
It sounds like the fourth of July might very well be the day the pubs open back up, which I’m really looking forward to. Pub culture is an integral part of British culture, so taking that out of everyone’s lives has had a bigger effect than has been let on in the news. Hopefully the humidity will have dissipated by then. The valley where I live has been shrouded in fog for a week now, which is only adding to my sense of isolation.
Well, I think I’ll leave things on that positive note. I hope you fine people are faring better than myself. Maybe by my next post my motivation will have returned. We shall see. I have enjoyed writing this though, so that’s something.
Do stay in touch, droogs.
Toodles!
Wednesday, 10 June 2020
Thirty hours' sleep later...
So, yeah, I’m currently asleep during the day and waking up about four in the afternoon. The last time it got this bad was over Christmas, which made the winter shutdown even worse. Anyway, I managed to stay awake for twenty-four hours over Monday and Tuesday, which was impressive. I even managed to get out to my GP surgery to post my repeat prescription, which I think the sleep deprivation actually helped (my social anxiety has been getting worse the longer I’ve stayed in). Well, after I got home, I had a few beers to keep me awake a little longer and then… wait for it… I went to bed for the next thirty hours. As you can imagine, this has only made the sleep situation worse. Or just the same. Either way, it’s not helped. I got up for my shower at ten this evening. Sigh. So, what next? Well, I’ve got a grocery order coming in nine hours, so I’ll probably be still up for that. I need to go pick up my medication on Friday, so hopefully I’ll be back on track by then. I’m not sure. Maybe I should just ring the chemist and get them to delivery. I’ll have a think.
I best move on, as I realise talking about one’s broken sleep pattern isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. It does start to consume your whole existence after a while though. Alas! Being in bed for so long has left me quite weak, as I’m shaking uncontrollably at the moment. I’m hoping it’ll wear off soon. I had a sausage sandwich twelve hours ago, so maybe it’s an energy thing. I’m not sure.
As mentioned above, my ability to go outside has diminished a lot. It’s a psychological thing. I know we’ve been told to stay in recently but, if you’re prone to social anxiety anyway, then this has all just added to it. I’ve only been out twice in the past month, and that’s just been to take my refuse down to the wheelie bins. The pubs can’t open back up soon enough.
Oh, yeah, regarding my last post, I did get a little flirty with my old gaming buddy last week. It was, like, two in the morning and we both couldn’t sleep so were texting each other. He kept asking me if I was alright, which kinda felt like a “green light”, so I tried to make the conversation more intimate, but he wasn’t interested. I assumed that’d be the last I heard from him, but we have exchanged the odd message since. I think I might delete him from my contacts to discourage me from doing the same again. I don’t want to pester anyone.
I’ve still been playing some games on my PS4 since lettering my online subscription slide, but I’ve kept myself appearing offline. If I’ve wanted to watch a DVD, then I’ve used the new standalone player (so I’m not tempted by any notifications on the console). It’s been a good way of weening myself off. Actually, I did get drunk and pay for an extra month’s subscription one night when I was feeling lonesome, but I’ve not activated the auto-renewal. I’m such a fool.
I’m now onto Season 3 of The Office. The addition of the character Andy nearly broke me, as he was just too obnoxious. I know he’s supposed to be obnoxious, but he really was, and not in a fun way. I think the producers realised that too and sent him off to anger management. Based on the actor’s IMDb page, he does make a return. Fingers crossed, by then, they’ll have figured out the character’s issues. We shall see. I was really pleased to see Rashida Jones pop up as a regular. I wasn’t expecting that. She’s so great in Parks & Recreation, which is what I know her from the most. I hope her role in The Office doesn’t sour me to Ann Perkins. I supremely doubt it though.
I bought the third version of Oliver Stone’s Alexander on Prime Video the other day. This is the “Revisited” cut. The longest one. It was meant to keep me up while I was trying to nudge my sleep pattern along, but I started to struggle halfway through. It is one of the most unintentionally funny films you’ll ever watch, and apparently it doesn’t matter which version you watch. The comedy is buried deep, deep, deep down in the production. I think it will genuinely become a much loved “so bad it’s good” classic. The problems? Oh, just everything, from the casting to the direction to the cinematography to the writing to the music to the wigs to the awkward homoeroticism. Just everything. It’s amazing.
I’ve had, since the 1990s, a very old volume of Shakespeare’s historical plays. I found it in a second hand bookshop on the Isle of Man while the family and I were on holiday there. I remember the shop had just opened and the eccentric owner was trying to cope with sorting out all the books by himself. He said he was looking for an assistant, which was tempting, but I had a college course to go back to. And nowhere to stay in the Isle of Man, of course. Anyway, I’ve always wondered where the two missing volumes (the comedies and tragedies) were then, the other day, I found someone selling them on eBay. Amazing! I doubt they’re from the same set, but I just couldn’t say “no”, especially at the price of £30. These editions were published about a hundred and fifty years ago and are wonderfully illustrated. My copy of the historical plays is in a terrible state (the front and back hardcover boards have come off completely), but I still love it. If the two that turn up in the post are in even a slightly better condition than mine, then it’ll have been more than worth it. I can’t wait to take the reunion photo!
Righty, I best go back to my daily dose of The Office. The shaking hasn’t subsided yet, so typing this hasn’t been very easy.
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Toodles!
I best move on, as I realise talking about one’s broken sleep pattern isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. It does start to consume your whole existence after a while though. Alas! Being in bed for so long has left me quite weak, as I’m shaking uncontrollably at the moment. I’m hoping it’ll wear off soon. I had a sausage sandwich twelve hours ago, so maybe it’s an energy thing. I’m not sure.
As mentioned above, my ability to go outside has diminished a lot. It’s a psychological thing. I know we’ve been told to stay in recently but, if you’re prone to social anxiety anyway, then this has all just added to it. I’ve only been out twice in the past month, and that’s just been to take my refuse down to the wheelie bins. The pubs can’t open back up soon enough.
Oh, yeah, regarding my last post, I did get a little flirty with my old gaming buddy last week. It was, like, two in the morning and we both couldn’t sleep so were texting each other. He kept asking me if I was alright, which kinda felt like a “green light”, so I tried to make the conversation more intimate, but he wasn’t interested. I assumed that’d be the last I heard from him, but we have exchanged the odd message since. I think I might delete him from my contacts to discourage me from doing the same again. I don’t want to pester anyone.
I’ve still been playing some games on my PS4 since lettering my online subscription slide, but I’ve kept myself appearing offline. If I’ve wanted to watch a DVD, then I’ve used the new standalone player (so I’m not tempted by any notifications on the console). It’s been a good way of weening myself off. Actually, I did get drunk and pay for an extra month’s subscription one night when I was feeling lonesome, but I’ve not activated the auto-renewal. I’m such a fool.
I’m now onto Season 3 of The Office. The addition of the character Andy nearly broke me, as he was just too obnoxious. I know he’s supposed to be obnoxious, but he really was, and not in a fun way. I think the producers realised that too and sent him off to anger management. Based on the actor’s IMDb page, he does make a return. Fingers crossed, by then, they’ll have figured out the character’s issues. We shall see. I was really pleased to see Rashida Jones pop up as a regular. I wasn’t expecting that. She’s so great in Parks & Recreation, which is what I know her from the most. I hope her role in The Office doesn’t sour me to Ann Perkins. I supremely doubt it though.
I bought the third version of Oliver Stone’s Alexander on Prime Video the other day. This is the “Revisited” cut. The longest one. It was meant to keep me up while I was trying to nudge my sleep pattern along, but I started to struggle halfway through. It is one of the most unintentionally funny films you’ll ever watch, and apparently it doesn’t matter which version you watch. The comedy is buried deep, deep, deep down in the production. I think it will genuinely become a much loved “so bad it’s good” classic. The problems? Oh, just everything, from the casting to the direction to the cinematography to the writing to the music to the wigs to the awkward homoeroticism. Just everything. It’s amazing.
I’ve had, since the 1990s, a very old volume of Shakespeare’s historical plays. I found it in a second hand bookshop on the Isle of Man while the family and I were on holiday there. I remember the shop had just opened and the eccentric owner was trying to cope with sorting out all the books by himself. He said he was looking for an assistant, which was tempting, but I had a college course to go back to. And nowhere to stay in the Isle of Man, of course. Anyway, I’ve always wondered where the two missing volumes (the comedies and tragedies) were then, the other day, I found someone selling them on eBay. Amazing! I doubt they’re from the same set, but I just couldn’t say “no”, especially at the price of £30. These editions were published about a hundred and fifty years ago and are wonderfully illustrated. My copy of the historical plays is in a terrible state (the front and back hardcover boards have come off completely), but I still love it. If the two that turn up in the post are in even a slightly better condition than mine, then it’ll have been more than worth it. I can’t wait to take the reunion photo!
Righty, I best go back to my daily dose of The Office. The shaking hasn’t subsided yet, so typing this hasn’t been very easy.
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Toodles!
Tuesday, 9 June 2020
Working my way around the clock
Just a quick one.
My sleep pattern is totally messed-up again, so I've forced myself to stay awake since 4pm yesterday. It's now 4pm today. I'm not sure what "real" is anymore.
The beer is helping.
Anyway, I'm worried some overtly-flertatious text messages last week to my old gaming buddy has officially put a stop to that friendship. Not that there was much left to it anyway. Think that's why I did it.
Well, I hope when I post next I'll be back around to a normal, sane, less tortuous existence with slightly more to say than "help!".
It's all good.
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Toodles!
My sleep pattern is totally messed-up again, so I've forced myself to stay awake since 4pm yesterday. It's now 4pm today. I'm not sure what "real" is anymore.
The beer is helping.
Anyway, I'm worried some overtly-flertatious text messages last week to my old gaming buddy has officially put a stop to that friendship. Not that there was much left to it anyway. Think that's why I did it.
Well, I hope when I post next I'll be back around to a normal, sane, less tortuous existence with slightly more to say than "help!".
It's all good.
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Toodles!
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