Worrying in a Winter Wonderland, Part Two

Well, here’s the rather belated second half of my report on my isolated winter “adventures”. If you can wrap your brain around the concept – yes, I did snap and break into my booze store early. Hence the delay in posting. I was pretty bombed for four days straight over the cursed Christmas period. I wasn’t doing too badly beforehand, then I made the mistake of calling mother on the 25^th. This led me to drink and watching The Shining and Gladiator, instead of cooking my planned curry and saving the booze for New Year’s Eve. I remember a surprising amount from that evening actually and, to be honest, I did quite enjoy myself. It’s hard not to when you’re three sheets to the wind.

Surprisingly, I woke up on Christmas Day with a text from my old gaming buddy. If you remember, I decided to break contact with him months and months ago, but I was still touched by him caring enough to drop me a line. Nothing seems to bother him which, in turn, slightly bothers me. So, basically, he doesn’t seem permanently offended by my recent silence and unfriending. I felt it’d be far too hard and rude of me not to reply, which I did, and we’ve been in sparse contact ever since. I’m sure it’d be over by now, had I not been so “merry” over the past week. Oh well, I guess we’ll just have to see how things go.

I’m still in touch with my old guitar guru, although chat is generally limited to music playing and tech. We’ve never been that great at deeper stuff, and he generally avoids drink. He said, in passing, that he might head up to Sheffield in the New Year to hang out. I’m not sure why, or what’s inspired this, but I’m assuming he has guitar tech business to undertake around here, and that I’ll be a side visit. This is how people usually treat me. But, then again, maybe he’s genuinely interested in Me and only Me. He does seem to go out of his way to meet and help out his guitar connections. It seems to be the one and only thing he’s truly passionate about in life, besides family.

The contact I’ve had with people has helped with the cabin fever, I must say. Although, my binging hasn’t helped, of course; plus the weather has been truly miserable. I’ve also run out of antidepressants, so that’ll be affecting me very soon. If not already. I’ll try to pop out tomorrow to finally post my prescription. Again, the poor weather has kept me inside. And hangovers. And just general poor sleep pattern.

Oh yes, the sleep pattern is still weird. I’m not getting to sleep until around 5 am, which is no good if you have personal admin to do in the real world.

I think my bed needs another rebuild. Well, it’s more about just tightening screws and flipping the mattress, but it’s still a pain in the fucking ass. I’ll call the council in the New Year and ask for some new stuff. It’s been five years that this stuff has been plaguing my comfort. It’s time.

Well, I think I’ll call it a day there. I’m not feeling very chatty, but I just thought I’d finally give you Part Two of this downbeat epic. I can’t remember why I felt I had a whole extra post’s worth of news to update you with, but it’s clearly left my brain now.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

Worrying in a Winter Wonderland, Part One

Ahoy there, folks! Yes, it’s your cuh-ray-zee blog host here! It’s time for some festive fun and… urgh… no… I can’t.

Fuck this time of year.

Fuck it right in its ass.

We’ve got two weeks of all this merry bullshit left before things go back to “normal”. If you don’t work, are single and live by yourself, things do, indeed, get pretty rough this time of year. It’s not just an excuse for chemists to sell extra razorblades.

I did sound out my ex to see what she was doing for Christmas Day, but it seems she’s going over to a couple she’s friends with for the second year in a row. Oh well. I had assumed that, even though we weren’t going out anymore, we’d still do Crimbo together to stave off the loneliness. But, as always, my assuming things seems to have been my undoing. I wasn’t going to even attempt going down to the pub, what with social distancing being put back in place and all, but I might just risk it. Again, I’m not bothered about catching anything, I just get confused and anxious over simple instructions.

I have been planning to not drink until New Year’s Eve, but that’s going to be a tough road to hoe. I bought some fancy craft and real ales from a couple of breweries, including the one that owns my regular pub, which are now sitting in a cupboard calling out to me. I’ll be good. I think. Sigh. I definitely need to go out on Wednesday for my vaccination booster, to drop off a prescription and to get some energy meter top-ups, so they’ll be safe until after then. Maybe.

I got a £50 Amazon gift card from mummy dearest, so I’m just trying to figure out what to spend that on. I best give her a call at some point to thank her. I’ve had no word from dad but, hey, why the hell would I?

The government recently realised they’d underpaid me some disability money over the past decade, so I’ve recently received a shocking lump sum back-payment in the bank. I’m talking five figures. Times three. They even said that, because it was their fault, it wouldn’t effect any of my current payments. This has confused me greatly, as I’m now not sure whether I’m exempt for life or what. The limit you can have in your bank account is £6,000, so does this mean that I can have what I have now plus £6,000 and nothing more?! Oh I don’t know. Maybe I’ll ring the Citizen’s Advice Bureau and ask. Or just “do a Brewster’s Millions” and try to spend it all in a month. Or just not thing about it, drink heavily and wait until the cops show up. It’ll just be swapping one prison cell for another. Anyway, this sudden wealth means that I can buy some of the spendier guitar equipment I’ve always wanted. I was thinking about using it to move out of this shithole but, well, there’s no guarantee I’ll like where I move to. At least this flat is in walking distance of the best pub and guitar shop in town.

Life is a queer old thing, isn’t it?

I might donate quite a bit to charity. I already give once a month to the British Humanist Association, so maybe I’ll sling a Secular Winterfest bonus their way.

I’m in fairly regular touch with my old work colleague/guitar guru, although it usually depends on whether he can be arsed. And it’s usually me who instigates conversation. Maybe I’ll just leave it for a bit. Or until I next want to drunk text people. So in a week’s time then. Or two days. He’s the only person I’ve told about this back-payment thing, and it’ll probably stay that way. Well, apart from you fine folk, that is.

I’m listening to a fair few audio history lectures at the moment. My current favourite is Bob Brier’s on Ancient Egypt. I thought I new a fair amount about the subject already, which is why it’s taken me so long to dig deeper, but it seems I was wrong. Bob’s an interesting guy who, at first, I didn’t think I would be able to stand for long. He has a thick, bordering on parody, New York accent, and an aggressive enthusiasm to boot. It’s like you’re stuck with a very chatty cabbie for hours on end. But, actually, his infection glee over his subject and very good teaching style has won me over. He’s great at general recapping from the previous lecture and reminding you about smaller details as he goes along, so I’m actually learning a lot on just the first listen. It usually takes, like, five goes for stuff to sink in with me. Maybe even more. I’ve also just started another lecture series on Mesoamerican civilisations, but the guy doing that is pretty dull. I may have to abandon it and start from scratch. I can’t quite work out whether he was just born with a dull demeanour, or whether he’s somewhere on the autism spectrum. I’m also relistening to the Chinese history one, which is great. Ken Hammond is such a sweetie-pie. I feel like my ears are being hugged when I listen to his voice.

Well, my dinner’s just come out of the oven, so I’ll call it a day for now. I’ll try and fill you in on more stuff tomorrow. I think posting over the next two weeks might be quite helpful for combatting the isolation.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!