Well, summer has finally arrived. I’ve dug out my system of towels to mop up the constant perspiration, which is bad even on a good day. I think it just runs in the family, as my blood pressure isn’t particularly high. I remember dad used to overheat too. I think it’s my thick, part-Canadian skin that’s the problem. I’m built for living on snowy mountaintops, not sun-bleached concrete council estates. So, yes, there’s not much to do in this weather, except sit as still as possible and hope for a breeze. I can play guitar effectively later in the evening, but during the day I’m just too sticky.
I’ve not drank since Thursday, by which point I’d been drunk for seven days straight. It seems to have knocked the grief out of me for now, but I was getting very bored. I’m not a high-functioning alcoholic. I randomly took a taxi down to the pub really late last-last Sunday evening, and accidentally stumbled upon the birthday barbeque bash of the bar manager. I got dragged in and hugged a lot, which was nice. It made me feel less lonely. Although, well, it’s a mild concern that I didn’t get an invite in the first place, but I’ll try not to dwell on that.
I’ve started thinking seriously about upgrading my living conditions. I need shelves and tables, basically. I’m slowly being pushed out by musical equipment, and I can’t take it anymore. Sadly, I’m not a very practical sort of fellow, so I’m taking the planning process very slowly. I did give my number to a handyman in the pub, but I’ve not heard anything since. I also gave my number to a guy who had a bookcase to give away, but I’ve not heard anything since. Sigh. I haven’t cleaned in a while, which is made difficult by all the clutter. I’m hoping that, once I can move stuff up from off the ground, I can finally give the place a much-much-much-needed once over. We shall see.
I’m feeling pretty low today, which means I’m fighting off the desire to go drinking. Like I said, it’s hard to do anything else in this heat really. Maybe I should order a crate of beer or head down to the pub, after I’ve posted this.
So, yeah, just more whingings from a disabled, alcoholic, depressed, lonely, middle-aged nerd. The reasons for me to not be here anymore are really stacking up. I think the note will be very short, something along the lines of: “Do you really need me to tell you why?!”. Good times.
I've spent a bit more than usual on the lottery this week, so you never know.
Well, I best go scrub up and figure out what to do with the rest of the day. The possibilities are endless: stay sober, or go get drunk.
Feels great to be alive.
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Toodles!
