A bit bummed and beans

How do I feel? Not sure. Bit bummed about selling my guitars as even having knocked down their worth for a shop sale they’ve come back to me with even lower prices. Oh well. I sort of expected that, but it’s still a bit depressing. Not sure what the next move is. Stupidly I didn’t mention some of the guitars’ problems up front, so if I mention them now I might get knocked down even further. I’m such a nonce.

Yesterday I bought tickets to see The Like at the Sheffield Plug venue. I had to ask them for directions on Twitter because I couldn’t read the map on the venue’s wall, eek!! I even took out my magnifier, but it was no good.

I started a job application at the employment advice place, I’m starting to feel a little more comfortable about going there after the first attempt felt awkward.

My brother is visiting my dad so I texted him to remind my dad to post my microphone up. I think it is now officially on the way… but you never know. I hope I can start recording soon before it’s too late.

I hate getting these ups and downs. One minute I feel like everything’s going right, the next I’m spiralling into negativity and despair. I wouldn’t mind some stability.

My girlfriend has picked some beans that she’s grown fresh from the garden so I think we’re having that for dinner tonight. It’s hardly a holiday in the tropics, but being a little more self sufficient does cheer you up.

I’m not sure what to do today. I need to get some washing done and look at an application form for a kitchen assistant job. Maybe I’ll go for a walk later but generally stay housebound.

We shall see.

Sex, drugs and coriander

I’m trying to remember what we did at the weekend, but my mind’s drawing a blank.

Ummm.

Oh yeah, we went to Rotherham and Barnsley on Saturday, although it was a little too humid again to enjoy. Rotherham was nicer than I’d expected and it has a great indoor market that I would like to go back to. An old man was trying to bargain at a charity stall but the woman serving him was clearly fed up with, what I’m assuming, wasn’t his first visit and got quite short tempered with him. There was an Asian food stall where women were buying great big bouquets of coriander. Not just those sad, tiny pots we pay a fortune for in the supermarket… just proper great bunches of leaves. Obviously the not-so-secret ingredient in Asian/Indian cooking.

Yesterday I went for my weekly job search. The guy was really nice and we had a little chat. He perhaps told me a little too much about his personal life and I felt a bit awkward.

In town I think somebody was doing drugs in the toilet stall next to mine because I heard the rustling of tin foil and then him flicking his lighter to “cook” something. He kept singing and talking to himself, so he must have been happy about something. I zipped up fast and made a quick exit.

On the way through town as I was passing a pub I heard two old geezer smokers outside talking. One said to the other: “if I’m gonna do a robbery I’m gonna do it so that I can retire, I ain’t going to prison”. Maybe talk about that indoors, guys, not on the street where everybody can hear you. I’m sure it was just drunk talk, they looked pretty leathered.

I’m off to town today so I hope it’s just a little cooler than it was yesterday.

I’m not the sort that flourishes in humidity.

Cash flow, but no flowing cash

Monday I had to sign on, which was a joy as always then I had a haircut and on the way home I picked up a load of frozen meat-free products from Tesco so my girlfriend can focus on her diet. In the afternoon we cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, yuk, but at least it’s out of the way.

Yesterday I went to a disability recruitment advice place in Sheffield and registered. I had a long chat with the bloke setting up my profile and he seemed pretty cool. It’s nice having a moan to someone now and then.

Today I’ve been to the advice centre again to talk about my finances. The guy was really pro-active and just got on with things. We went through a lot and made loads of calls. He outlined the worse case scenario for each problem, which helped my anxiety. I almost gave him a hug at the end.

I’ve emailed a guitar shop in Leeds to inquire if they’d be interested in buying some of my guitars. They replied stating that they’d be interested but they’d like photos and an idea of pricing first. I’ll crack on with that ASAP.

I’m trying to not orgasm when I masturbate at the moment so that I save myself for when I’m with my girlfriend. It’s quite difficult but I’m getting the hang of it. My sex drive has definitely gone up and it’s making me a little more sociable, I think ejaculating too much makes me lethargic and a try a little less.

This morning we went swimming which was nice. We didn’t stay in long though as my girlfriend got quite tired. They’ve adapted the changing rooms so that now they’re just one big unisex one, so I couldn’t perv on blokes as I changed, lol. Oh well, it will probably do me some good.

Last night our housemate took another overdose and an ambulance turned up to take her to the hospital. We’re being careful not to fuss over her too much as I think this all just attention seeking on her part. She just wants somebody to take over her life for her, but we’re not prepared to do that. She’ll just have to grow up instead.

A taste of history and fear of tomorrow

The vintage clothes fair we went to yesterday was nothing more than a charity shop we had to pay to get into. Full of student types getting excited at shiny things. Afterwards we went to the Kelham Island Museum and had a lovely look round. I think it was an open day there and they had lots of retro street performers entertaining the visitors. Loved it.

After the museum we went to a pub close by and I had my first drink since February. Just a couple of halves of cider. I kept wanting to go to more pubs afterwards but thankfully we didn’t and I had some low alcohol shandy when we got in, so that helped me “come down” after the cider. I’ll stick to energy drinks, for sure.

In the evening we had a Chinese takeaway which went down a treat.

I think the booze earlier on made us have a heavy sleep as we didn’t get up today until about eleven, then still didn’t get dressed until after one in the afternoon.

I’ve been Twittering all afternoon and having mini-conversations with the comics I am following. They seem like nice people and it’s always fun to chip in with the odd gag. I hope the don’t get sick of me… I’ve just felt sociable today, that’s all.

More stuff has gone missing from the food cupboard so the list we’re going to present to our housemate is getting longer. That’ll be a fun bit of confrontation, eek!

I’ve got lots of appointments this week, I wonder how it will all go. I hope I get to Friday in one piece. I might make sure I go to the doctor too as I’m concerned that the next few months are going to be very stressful. I hope I can hold on to hope and not get too morbid.