Geekology

I was thinking about how not all geeks are the same and can be passive or aggressive depending on which “category” they fall into. I’m not a big fan of labels personally but I thought this would be a fun little exercise in sociological distinctions and definitions.

I’ve subcategorized the list into two sections: Actual Geeks and Fake Geeks in an attempt to address the recent popularity of “geek chic” amongst non-geeks.

Please feel free to add your own suggestions and definitions or call me up on my sweeping generalisations :)

Plus, what type of geek do you think you are?

ACTUAL GEEKS:

Anal Possessive Geek

A very tidy and orderly geek, they like things to be exactly where they want them to be (even when it’s sometimes inconvenient and impractical) and do not like sharing or loaning items out. They most likely still use a pencil case in their 30s and make sure you return their reluctantly borrowed belongings by the end of the day. Academically intelligent but lacking in common sense.

Elite Geek

The real loner and isolated geek who is aggressively antisocial and could in fact be diagnosed as a “sociopath”. They have no desire to like or be liked by others and can even lash out verbally if approached. They can develop delusions of grandeur and generally believe in an intellectual “elite” and consider intelligence to be equal to goodness and superiority.

Harmless Obsessive Outdoor Geek

Train, plane, bus and boat spotters etc. whose predilection for manmade vehicles and machinery outside their homes in public (which requires mingling with crowds) doesn’t always mean that they are particularly sociable. Often dressing for comfort and adverse weather conditions rather than style, they hang around by themselves or in pairs at transport depots or behind airport fencing. This type of geek can also include astronomers and real ale drinkers.

Casual Geek

The term “casual” refers to both their physical stature, clothing and geek shift pattern. Geeky and articulate overall but discerning and very particular about their cult interests. They are generally not academically intelligent but can apply themselves to their chosen field of expertise when it suits them. They are socially awkward in groups but can still be talkative and have mainstream interests and tastes.

FAKE GEEKS:

Classic Nerd Geek Chic

Often seen in the form of office workers or d-list celebrities. Recognisable by their expensive black-rimmed glasses (actual geeks spend their money on computer games and comics, not fashion) and trendy tight-fitting shirts and tank tops that show off their slender and toned physiques (actual geeks are not toned, they sit hunched over computers all night or eat fast food rather than spending time in the gym and eating salads). These are not real geeks and should be discounted from the actual geek community entirely.

Laid Back Slacker Geek Chic

A very geek friendly portion of society but still not to be counted as actual geeks. They are usually very attractive and have nice skin. They can have alternative hobbies like gaming, comics and alt/indie rock but are still far too socially capable and good with talking to girls to be truly defined as actual geeks. They can be recognised by their shaggy haircuts, t-shirts with clever slogans/patterns, sagger jeans, tatty sports shoes and the fact that they are usually in unsuccessful local rock bands. Due to their geek friendly nature they can often be teamed up with to help actual geeks become more sociable and achieve their first sexual experience. See the film “Scott Pilgrim Vs The World” for numerous examples of Laid Back Slacker Geek Chic.