So it was my birthday yesterday, which I was pretty hungover for. It seems to have become a thing every year where I crack and start drinking a day early. This year I felt pretty miserable the day before, so I just fancied a pick-me-up and, to be fair, it worked. I had a great evening. Just a day early. On the actual day, I got up around 5am, had a shower and started my Disney movie marathon before the rest of the country was up. I guess I just didn’t think staying in bed a few more hours would cure my hangover, so I just got up and got on with it. I really enjoyed the four films I watched, which were The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin and The Lion King. While these four films were mega-huge when they came out, I’ve never actually gotten round to watching them, so my birthday seemed like a good excuse for a binge-watch.
Just remind me next year not to get drunk the night before.
I didn’t get many birthday greetings, which is fine, as I don’t really get involved with anyone else’s birthdays. I did get a handful of shout-outs on Twitter from people I do actually care about, so that was awesome. I turned off my DOB on Facebook, which is how those birthday notifications get sent out to everyone. It usually annoys me when I get told of everyone else’s birthday, so I assume it annoys them too. I dunno, maybe I’ll change it for next year. I’ll have a think. We all like a bit of attention now and then, right?
Oh, I did just get a card from mother. A day late. In it she says “I hope you are still friends with [your ex-girlfriend], which was a rather pointless and insensitive addition. I wonder how she’d feel if I said the same to her about her ex-husband. You know: my father, the man with whom she hasn’t spoken with for eighteen years? I’m sure she’d love that.
So, yeah, that’s annoyed me this evening. Mum’s good at that.
Speaking of my ex, it sounds like everyone and their dog has gone to visit her in hospital, so I’ll not bother. Our friendship is done. I only agreed to see her the other week because I wanted to catch up with our mutual friend. It was a bad idea all around. I think it may have given the ex the wrong impression. Silly me.
Right, that’s my mini-rant over and done with.
Hope y’all have a nice long weekend!
Toodles!
Friday, 24 May 2019
Wednesday, 22 May 2019
Intimate packages
Golly, I’ve had a day full of deliveries today! So many nice men coming to my door, but none of them staying. Alas!
The groceries came first thing, which I purposefully booked a very early slot for. The reason for this was to hopefully get everything delivered before the afternoon so I could go swimming but, while the groceries did indeed come on time, the others ended up being just a little too late for my swimming, erm, window.
I kept getting anxious too, as my next door neighbour’s going through a phase of popping in and out of the building constantly throughout the day and night (I have no idea where he goes), so he kept accidentally bumping into my deliveries. I think he’d coincidentally also ordered some groceries for this morning too, so when he heard mine coming, he rushed downstairs to meet the guy and was confused by the fact that it wasn’t his. The same thing happened with one of the later packages, but I think the courier mistook my neighbour for me. Luckily, while dishonest in other ways, my neighbour doesn’t seem to be a parcel stealer like 99% of the folk in this area. Well, suffice to say, everything got through without molestation.
The first of the two afternoon deliveries was a particularly personal item, so I was very glad it didn’t go astray. I decided to treat myself to a prostate massager/vibrator for the bedroom (of course). It came (no pun intended) in a very discreate DVD boxset-sized case and was very easy to set up. They even threw in a battery and some lube, both of which I already had, but I still thought it was nice of them to do it. I’d never used one of these before, but I struggled to believe it would be any more complicated than “just shove it up your arse and press ON”, which it wasn’t.
For me, I found the massager a bit too small. I’ve given it a quick go, but felt very little sensation. Maybe I should watch some porn first, just to get me going. I dunno, I guess I’m more used to larger dildos that totally destroy my ass and hurt like hell, which is kind of my thing. This massager is, by contrast, rather “cute”.
Well, the second afternoon delivery - and third overall today - were my two cases of beer (as mentioned in my last post). These arrived just as I was finishing up testing out the vibrator, so I was rather concerned my hands weren’t fully clean when I signed for it. I’m pretty sure they were. Mostly. Anyway, I was going to wait until after my Disney movie marathon tomorrow to start drinking, but I’m half tempted just to dive into them tonight instead. I’m waking myself up with a coffee as I type, so maybe I won’t need them.
I was surprised none of the bottles were broken actually, as the delivery company was the dreaded Yodel, who’ve become rather notorious over the years for their amateurish delivery skills. But, nope, everything was intact. The delivery guy was lovely too. He said: “I could do with one of these after lugging them up all these stairs!”, to which I should have said “You’re welcome to drop by after work, if you like!” but, of course, I just laughed and awkwardly mumbled something incoherent.
Maybe next time.
Oh, some weird news, my ex has landed herself in hospital. Apparently she has blood clots on/in her lungs, which could be caused by one or more of her medical conditions. The consultant has said she may be kept in for the rest of the week, but I don’t think I’ll go visit her. While I do, of course, care about her wellbeing and wish her well, I’m trying to tie our friendship up, and rushing to see her in hospital is something a boyfriend does. And I’m not that anymore. She’s got plenty of friends and relatives more mobile than myself, so I’m sure they’ll be visiting. I also think she needs a bit of a shock to the system regarding her health in general, so maybe being cooped up alone in a grim NHS hospital for the best part of a week will finally force her into action, rather than her just talking about it. Endlessly. Plus it’s my birthday, so I just don’t wanna go. She ruined enough of my birthdays in the past while we were still going out.
So, yeah, I'll probably go visit her tomorrow.
Anyway, I best go figure out what to do with myself for the rest of the evening.
Toodles!
The groceries came first thing, which I purposefully booked a very early slot for. The reason for this was to hopefully get everything delivered before the afternoon so I could go swimming but, while the groceries did indeed come on time, the others ended up being just a little too late for my swimming, erm, window.
I kept getting anxious too, as my next door neighbour’s going through a phase of popping in and out of the building constantly throughout the day and night (I have no idea where he goes), so he kept accidentally bumping into my deliveries. I think he’d coincidentally also ordered some groceries for this morning too, so when he heard mine coming, he rushed downstairs to meet the guy and was confused by the fact that it wasn’t his. The same thing happened with one of the later packages, but I think the courier mistook my neighbour for me. Luckily, while dishonest in other ways, my neighbour doesn’t seem to be a parcel stealer like 99% of the folk in this area. Well, suffice to say, everything got through without molestation.
The first of the two afternoon deliveries was a particularly personal item, so I was very glad it didn’t go astray. I decided to treat myself to a prostate massager/vibrator for the bedroom (of course). It came (no pun intended) in a very discreate DVD boxset-sized case and was very easy to set up. They even threw in a battery and some lube, both of which I already had, but I still thought it was nice of them to do it. I’d never used one of these before, but I struggled to believe it would be any more complicated than “just shove it up your arse and press ON”, which it wasn’t.
For me, I found the massager a bit too small. I’ve given it a quick go, but felt very little sensation. Maybe I should watch some porn first, just to get me going. I dunno, I guess I’m more used to larger dildos that totally destroy my ass and hurt like hell, which is kind of my thing. This massager is, by contrast, rather “cute”.
Well, the second afternoon delivery - and third overall today - were my two cases of beer (as mentioned in my last post). These arrived just as I was finishing up testing out the vibrator, so I was rather concerned my hands weren’t fully clean when I signed for it. I’m pretty sure they were. Mostly. Anyway, I was going to wait until after my Disney movie marathon tomorrow to start drinking, but I’m half tempted just to dive into them tonight instead. I’m waking myself up with a coffee as I type, so maybe I won’t need them.
I was surprised none of the bottles were broken actually, as the delivery company was the dreaded Yodel, who’ve become rather notorious over the years for their amateurish delivery skills. But, nope, everything was intact. The delivery guy was lovely too. He said: “I could do with one of these after lugging them up all these stairs!”, to which I should have said “You’re welcome to drop by after work, if you like!” but, of course, I just laughed and awkwardly mumbled something incoherent.
Maybe next time.
Oh, some weird news, my ex has landed herself in hospital. Apparently she has blood clots on/in her lungs, which could be caused by one or more of her medical conditions. The consultant has said she may be kept in for the rest of the week, but I don’t think I’ll go visit her. While I do, of course, care about her wellbeing and wish her well, I’m trying to tie our friendship up, and rushing to see her in hospital is something a boyfriend does. And I’m not that anymore. She’s got plenty of friends and relatives more mobile than myself, so I’m sure they’ll be visiting. I also think she needs a bit of a shock to the system regarding her health in general, so maybe being cooped up alone in a grim NHS hospital for the best part of a week will finally force her into action, rather than her just talking about it. Endlessly. Plus it’s my birthday, so I just don’t wanna go. She ruined enough of my birthdays in the past while we were still going out.
So, yeah, I'll probably go visit her tomorrow.
Anyway, I best go figure out what to do with myself for the rest of the evening.
Toodles!
Tuesday, 21 May 2019
Park and tide
I’m trying to keep myself busy at the moment, so I’m making sure I get out to do more activities. Basically, I’ve been concerned I might be turning into a tinfoil hat-wearing kook, so anything other than sitting in front of my laptop worrying about the world is on the agenda.
On Sunday I braved a trip out to Endcliffe Park for some fresh air and a taste of greenery, which was a challenge for me because a) I’d never been before and b) it was a Sunday, so that mean FAMILIES. Actually, I didn’t mind how busy it was (and it was very busy), because it meant I felt safer exploring the place for the first time. After the park (which included an ice cream), I checked out the local area, which is Ecclesall Road/Hunter’s Bar. “Eccy” Road is quite a student accommodation hub, I believe, so it’s like a mini town-within-a-town, with loads of shops, restaurants and pubs. Basically, there’s plenty to do. I’ve been there quite a few times, but not the park. I think if I go for a walk at Endcliffe again, I’ll pop into one of the real ale pubs along Ecclesall Road after. Sounds like a plan!
Well, after figuring out how to get from the park to Ecclesall Road, I caught the first bus heading in the direction of town. I had ten minutes to decide what to do next, so I went with having a Burger King binge down at the train station (they closed the Burger King that was actually in town). I wanted to try their chicken nuggets, as a friend has spoken highly of them, but there may have been a Double Whopper w/ Cheese too. And some chips.
Don’t look at me.
Anyway, I managed to get that all done and get back home before the evening, so I was quite proud of myself. I may switch between Endcliffe and the other parks in Sheffield. I’ve been to Weston Park, the Ponderosa and Hillsborough Park before, so I shall have a think.
Yesterday (Monday) I managed to get out for another swim, which was great. I wasn’t sure whether I’d enjoy the pub afterwards, due to how tiring swimming is, so I initially just popped into my local for a coke and some nuts, but then decided I was good for an ale or two. Four hours later, I finally left. The two activities actually made a fun combination. When I got home I quickly ordered a Chinese takeaway, then had an early night. I’m trying to get into the habit of not continuing drinking after getting home, mainly because I just fall asleep anyway, so it’s a waste of effort ad hoc getting more booze in. I seem to be sticking to this quite well. Which leads us to…
It’s my birthday this week, so I’ve treated myself to a couple of cases of real ale from an online retailer. Somebody recommended one, but it was way too spendy, so I just went browsing on Google, eventually settling on a company called “Beer Hawk”. It seems like good value for money and I didn’t recognise any of the brands in the cases, which was a big plus! They should be coming tomorrow. I did just ring to check my order was placed, and the person told me stuff will be arriving tomorrow (Wednesday) via Yodel. Nooooo! Yodel means half the bottles will be smashed. Sigh.
Oh, I did originally book a hotel in town to get the fuck out of Dodge for a couple of nights for my birthday, but it was so expensive, and cancelling meant I could order all that beer. Perfectly logical, right? I think I’ll save up for a self-catering holiday instead, which is an experience I prefer.
Right, I think that’s all for today’s confessional.
Hope you all are well!
Toodles!
On Sunday I braved a trip out to Endcliffe Park for some fresh air and a taste of greenery, which was a challenge for me because a) I’d never been before and b) it was a Sunday, so that mean FAMILIES. Actually, I didn’t mind how busy it was (and it was very busy), because it meant I felt safer exploring the place for the first time. After the park (which included an ice cream), I checked out the local area, which is Ecclesall Road/Hunter’s Bar. “Eccy” Road is quite a student accommodation hub, I believe, so it’s like a mini town-within-a-town, with loads of shops, restaurants and pubs. Basically, there’s plenty to do. I’ve been there quite a few times, but not the park. I think if I go for a walk at Endcliffe again, I’ll pop into one of the real ale pubs along Ecclesall Road after. Sounds like a plan!
Well, after figuring out how to get from the park to Ecclesall Road, I caught the first bus heading in the direction of town. I had ten minutes to decide what to do next, so I went with having a Burger King binge down at the train station (they closed the Burger King that was actually in town). I wanted to try their chicken nuggets, as a friend has spoken highly of them, but there may have been a Double Whopper w/ Cheese too. And some chips.
Don’t look at me.
Anyway, I managed to get that all done and get back home before the evening, so I was quite proud of myself. I may switch between Endcliffe and the other parks in Sheffield. I’ve been to Weston Park, the Ponderosa and Hillsborough Park before, so I shall have a think.
Yesterday (Monday) I managed to get out for another swim, which was great. I wasn’t sure whether I’d enjoy the pub afterwards, due to how tiring swimming is, so I initially just popped into my local for a coke and some nuts, but then decided I was good for an ale or two. Four hours later, I finally left. The two activities actually made a fun combination. When I got home I quickly ordered a Chinese takeaway, then had an early night. I’m trying to get into the habit of not continuing drinking after getting home, mainly because I just fall asleep anyway, so it’s a waste of effort ad hoc getting more booze in. I seem to be sticking to this quite well. Which leads us to…
It’s my birthday this week, so I’ve treated myself to a couple of cases of real ale from an online retailer. Somebody recommended one, but it was way too spendy, so I just went browsing on Google, eventually settling on a company called “Beer Hawk”. It seems like good value for money and I didn’t recognise any of the brands in the cases, which was a big plus! They should be coming tomorrow. I did just ring to check my order was placed, and the person told me stuff will be arriving tomorrow (Wednesday) via Yodel. Nooooo! Yodel means half the bottles will be smashed. Sigh.
Oh, I did originally book a hotel in town to get the fuck out of Dodge for a couple of nights for my birthday, but it was so expensive, and cancelling meant I could order all that beer. Perfectly logical, right? I think I’ll save up for a self-catering holiday instead, which is an experience I prefer.
Right, I think that’s all for today’s confessional.
Hope you all are well!
Toodles!
Saturday, 18 May 2019
Buzz, beer and bathrooms
Still buzzing slightly after yesterday’s impromptu pub session. I had just had one of those mornings where I couldn’t picture myself being stuck in all day, so I remedied the situation. I didn’t overdo it, simply coming home and falling asleep on the bed afterwards. I don’t seem to be able to do my all day and night drinking sessions anymore. That’s been the case since coming off my antidepressants. The tablets obviously gave me a lot of energy. I guess it’s a good thing that I can’t do it anymore, but I keep forgetting after I’ve had a few and spend money on shop-bought booze which then goes to waste. Well, it stays in the cupboard and gets drank another day, but you get what I mean.
A woman in the pub stopped at my table on her way out to ask me about my eyesight. I’m so used to random crazy people interrogating me about it and me fobbing them off, that I failed to ask her why she was interested. I think she may have been visually impaired too. I think she even had a dog, which may have been a guide dog, but I can’t be sure. I did ask the barman, but he didn’t notice due to how busy the place got. Basically, I feel bad that maybe I could have made a new friend, but oh well. Perhaps I’ll see her again. And I use the term “see” loosely, of course.
I’m starting to think I made the right choice in changing my washing routine. As mentioned in my previous post, I’ve been concerned my flat has contracted fleas somehow, but it may just be an allergic reaction to Dove shower cream. I’ve used a regular bar of soap the last couple of days and I don’t feel itchy or uncomfortable anymore, so I’m hoping it’s worked. I may take the list of ingredients to my doctor and see what he thinks I may have reacted badly to.
Oh, I cleaned the bathroom the other day, which I’m proud of. I found myself at a loss, as I was full of energy but didn’t fancy doing any hobby stuff. Perfect! So I just got in there and started scrubbing. I had been leaving it for waaay to long (until every surface was brown), but now I’m trying to get into a casual routine. I’ve set myself a certain time period in which to do it, so that should give me time to psych myself up. I’m hoping keeping on top of things will improve my overall mental health.
Cleaning the bathroom also meant that I was able to get to the bottom of why my shower had dropped in pressure. Turns out the tube that connects the control unit to the shower head had come loose. The whole thing fell out while I was rinsing the tiles and water just went everywhere. Well, it wasn’t quite that bad, but after screwing it back in it was back to its old destructive high pressure. I’m very happy.
I’m wondering what else to do for my birthday this coming week. I’m doing my Disney marathon on the day, but I guess I should treat myself to something else. Maybe I could spend the night in a posh hotel in town. Hmmm, yeah, that sounds kinda cool. I’ll see how much money I have to spare. It would be nice to get out of the ghetto for a day or two. Which reminds me, since I’ve set up a Direct Debit for the lottery each week, I’ve started browsing for nice properties around town, should I win. I guess it should be depressing but, actually, it’s filling me with hope, inspiration and excitement. Guess I have as much chance of winning as anyone else with one ticket, right? Right.
Anyway, I best be off. Hope you are all doing well. Do drop me a line sometime!
Toodles!
A woman in the pub stopped at my table on her way out to ask me about my eyesight. I’m so used to random crazy people interrogating me about it and me fobbing them off, that I failed to ask her why she was interested. I think she may have been visually impaired too. I think she even had a dog, which may have been a guide dog, but I can’t be sure. I did ask the barman, but he didn’t notice due to how busy the place got. Basically, I feel bad that maybe I could have made a new friend, but oh well. Perhaps I’ll see her again. And I use the term “see” loosely, of course.
I’m starting to think I made the right choice in changing my washing routine. As mentioned in my previous post, I’ve been concerned my flat has contracted fleas somehow, but it may just be an allergic reaction to Dove shower cream. I’ve used a regular bar of soap the last couple of days and I don’t feel itchy or uncomfortable anymore, so I’m hoping it’s worked. I may take the list of ingredients to my doctor and see what he thinks I may have reacted badly to.
Oh, I cleaned the bathroom the other day, which I’m proud of. I found myself at a loss, as I was full of energy but didn’t fancy doing any hobby stuff. Perfect! So I just got in there and started scrubbing. I had been leaving it for waaay to long (until every surface was brown), but now I’m trying to get into a casual routine. I’ve set myself a certain time period in which to do it, so that should give me time to psych myself up. I’m hoping keeping on top of things will improve my overall mental health.
Cleaning the bathroom also meant that I was able to get to the bottom of why my shower had dropped in pressure. Turns out the tube that connects the control unit to the shower head had come loose. The whole thing fell out while I was rinsing the tiles and water just went everywhere. Well, it wasn’t quite that bad, but after screwing it back in it was back to its old destructive high pressure. I’m very happy.
I’m wondering what else to do for my birthday this coming week. I’m doing my Disney marathon on the day, but I guess I should treat myself to something else. Maybe I could spend the night in a posh hotel in town. Hmmm, yeah, that sounds kinda cool. I’ll see how much money I have to spare. It would be nice to get out of the ghetto for a day or two. Which reminds me, since I’ve set up a Direct Debit for the lottery each week, I’ve started browsing for nice properties around town, should I win. I guess it should be depressing but, actually, it’s filling me with hope, inspiration and excitement. Guess I have as much chance of winning as anyone else with one ticket, right? Right.
Anyway, I best be off. Hope you are all doing well. Do drop me a line sometime!
Toodles!
Thursday, 16 May 2019
Signs of life
I’ve been really itchy and suffering dry skin over my whole body for a few months now, to the point where I’ve been worried that I’ve somehow brought fleas into my home. I initially suspected that it might have been carried over from my ex’s house, as my stuff was stored in their front room where they keep their rodents. Then I started to worry that I wasn’t looking after my home properly, which still could be the case. I’ve been spraying flea spray in key areas (bed and sofa) and have even been wondering whether I’ve somehow contracted an STD (I’ve not had a guy over in a couple of years). Basically, I’ve felt a bit dirty and embarrassed. This is another reason why I went swimming yesterday, as I wanted to immerse my whole body in chlorine for an hour, just to see if that worked.
It’s ok, I get by on my looks.
Well, I just had a revelation in bed this morning – what if I’m allergic to something?! Bingo! So, what is it that comes into contact with my whole body every day that might cause itching and dry skin? Well, I changed to non-bio laundry detergent this week, which still doesn’t seem to have worked. Then it came to me – my shower gel! I started using Dove shower cream relatively recently, which I like because you really feel it all over your body and it takes ages to wash off. The latter should be a downside, but I’ve actually come to like the ritual. But, hey, if it’s making me have this reaction and affecting my mood by making me feel unclean, then it’s gotta go!
Luckily, I had some bars of soap leftover from my pre-Dove days, so I’ve yanked myself out of bed way early and had a shower with one of those. Think I’ll put my towels in the wash too, as they might have soaked up some of the Dove, especially my shower towel. I’m also half tempted to wash my bedsheets again (I only did them the other day), just in case. If this doesn’t work, then I’ll call the council and get them to send a pest person out. I’ll also ring the hospital today to get myself check out too.
You never know.
I can't stress enough how thorough I am usually when it comes to my personal hygiene. I shower daily, sometimes twice, I'm always washing my hands and change and wash my clothes regularly. It's just my housework that tends to fall by the wayside due to my mental health.
Anyway, just thought I’d share, as this has been getting me down lately.
Toodles!
It’s ok, I get by on my looks.
Well, I just had a revelation in bed this morning – what if I’m allergic to something?! Bingo! So, what is it that comes into contact with my whole body every day that might cause itching and dry skin? Well, I changed to non-bio laundry detergent this week, which still doesn’t seem to have worked. Then it came to me – my shower gel! I started using Dove shower cream relatively recently, which I like because you really feel it all over your body and it takes ages to wash off. The latter should be a downside, but I’ve actually come to like the ritual. But, hey, if it’s making me have this reaction and affecting my mood by making me feel unclean, then it’s gotta go!
Luckily, I had some bars of soap leftover from my pre-Dove days, so I’ve yanked myself out of bed way early and had a shower with one of those. Think I’ll put my towels in the wash too, as they might have soaked up some of the Dove, especially my shower towel. I’m also half tempted to wash my bedsheets again (I only did them the other day), just in case. If this doesn’t work, then I’ll call the council and get them to send a pest person out. I’ll also ring the hospital today to get myself check out too.
You never know.
I can't stress enough how thorough I am usually when it comes to my personal hygiene. I shower daily, sometimes twice, I'm always washing my hands and change and wash my clothes regularly. It's just my housework that tends to fall by the wayside due to my mental health.
Anyway, just thought I’d share, as this has been getting me down lately.
Toodles!
Swimming with larks
So I went swimming today, which was pretty awesome. I’ve been thinking about going again for a while, but every time I’m in the right headspace e.g. I’ve slept properly and am not hungover, it’s usually school holidays, and I’ve got it into my head that the pools will be full of noisy families when the schools are closed. That may not be the case, but it’s a general rule I go by to only go during term time. I went to the baths closest to me (on the same road as the guitar shop I regularly frequent), which is in a very nice old building and has changing cubicles around the pool. I used to use the cubicles when I went there years go, but I wanted to have a locker this time, so I went in the communal changing/shower room. I was feeling anxious all morning before I went, as I kept thinking there’d be something that would get in my path (not literally) to stop me going and deprive me of all the floaty goodness. But nothing did, and I had a fabulous time. Well, I did have a little problem with using the locker (the first one I picked was, of course, broken), but there were some lovely old dudes in there that helped me. One guy kept advising me to use the cubicles around the pool, but they aren’t secure, so I kept having to tell him: “No, I want a locker!”, which he didn’t seem to understand. I had my house keys and a £500 smartphone on me. I want a freakin’ locker.
Swimming is my most favourite thing ever, and it always upsets me when I get out of the habit of going. Usually that’s because I get stressed with how busy the pool gets, and when there’s a person in there who thinks the pool is there just for them and keeps knocking me, but today seemed fine. What work well was doing a couple of laps, then stopping for a rest for a few minutes. Just floating there, spacing out, seemed to keep me calm so, yeah, I hope I can keep it up.
Another reason I wanted to go (other than just for enjoyment) was because I keep getting joint/ligament pains in my left shoulder. I don’t think it’s a prelude to a heart attack or anything (as far as I know), but it’s pretty nasty, so I thought swimming, which is just all round good exercise for your whole body, might save me a trip to the doctor.
In other news, The Lion King has just arrived on DVD, so that’s me set for my mini-marathon of Disney films next Thursday. Was worried it wouldn’t get here in time, but they obviously found a spare copy for me knocking about in the Amazon warehouse. Need to get some drinks in too for afterwards.
Think that’s all I have to say for today. Not much else has happened. Well, I have had a good night’s sleep the last couple of days, but I don’t want to jinx it by saying it’ll continue. I’m enjoying watching Family Guy before I turn the lights off, so I recommend watching something silly in bed to any clinically depressed folk like myself. It tends to help me end the day on a happily irreverent note.
Right, toodles!
Swimming is my most favourite thing ever, and it always upsets me when I get out of the habit of going. Usually that’s because I get stressed with how busy the pool gets, and when there’s a person in there who thinks the pool is there just for them and keeps knocking me, but today seemed fine. What work well was doing a couple of laps, then stopping for a rest for a few minutes. Just floating there, spacing out, seemed to keep me calm so, yeah, I hope I can keep it up.
Another reason I wanted to go (other than just for enjoyment) was because I keep getting joint/ligament pains in my left shoulder. I don’t think it’s a prelude to a heart attack or anything (as far as I know), but it’s pretty nasty, so I thought swimming, which is just all round good exercise for your whole body, might save me a trip to the doctor.
In other news, The Lion King has just arrived on DVD, so that’s me set for my mini-marathon of Disney films next Thursday. Was worried it wouldn’t get here in time, but they obviously found a spare copy for me knocking about in the Amazon warehouse. Need to get some drinks in too for afterwards.
Think that’s all I have to say for today. Not much else has happened. Well, I have had a good night’s sleep the last couple of days, but I don’t want to jinx it by saying it’ll continue. I’m enjoying watching Family Guy before I turn the lights off, so I recommend watching something silly in bed to any clinically depressed folk like myself. It tends to help me end the day on a happily irreverent note.
Right, toodles!
Tuesday, 14 May 2019
Drinks, deliveries and dad rock
Yay! My Family Guy boxset has arrived! It’s basically two large TV series cases in a fancy cardboard box, so I threw that out. So, yeah, that’s my bedtime viewing sorted for a while. As mentioned previously, I’m hoping that its similar absurdist humour style to Arrested Development will help me settle at night.
I’ve also received one out of four of the 90s Disney revival movies I’m going to watch in a casual marathon next Thursday. Think it’s just The Lion King I’m waiting for now. We is gonna have a party that night, I tell ya! Y’all are welcome.
I went out to the pub yesterday due to the lovely weather. Oddly enough though, I didn’t end up sitting outside. Oh well, it was a nice stroll down there, so at least I got some fresh air and exercise. And spoke to other humans. I mainly stuck to pale ales, drink-wise, in particular a hearty one called “Thunder Bridge”, but finished the day on a sweet stout, of which I also took a half-gallon jug home with me. There’s none left.
Considering I woke up feeling really morbid, I actually had a really fun time yesterday. From going out to the pub and talking to people, to gaming in the evening. I'm glad I managed to turn that frown upside down. Maybe it was the nice weather. Who knows.
Oh yeah, before I went out, I finally set my effects pedal signal chain back up for my electric guitar playing. I took it all down initially to do some recording (it’s best not to have any unnecessary electronics between your instrument and amplifier for the mic to pic up), but a couple of days later fell into a lethargic low mood slump, which has lasted weeks. The lounge has been in a bit of a state ever since, so it was nice to get things tidied away and setup so I can actually do some electric playing. I’ve mainly been using my Gretsch Rancher acoustic while it’s been a mess. That is a damn fine acoustic though, I must say.
Anyway, just thought I’d check in.
Toodles!
I’ve also received one out of four of the 90s Disney revival movies I’m going to watch in a casual marathon next Thursday. Think it’s just The Lion King I’m waiting for now. We is gonna have a party that night, I tell ya! Y’all are welcome.
I went out to the pub yesterday due to the lovely weather. Oddly enough though, I didn’t end up sitting outside. Oh well, it was a nice stroll down there, so at least I got some fresh air and exercise. And spoke to other humans. I mainly stuck to pale ales, drink-wise, in particular a hearty one called “Thunder Bridge”, but finished the day on a sweet stout, of which I also took a half-gallon jug home with me. There’s none left.
Considering I woke up feeling really morbid, I actually had a really fun time yesterday. From going out to the pub and talking to people, to gaming in the evening. I'm glad I managed to turn that frown upside down. Maybe it was the nice weather. Who knows.
Oh yeah, before I went out, I finally set my effects pedal signal chain back up for my electric guitar playing. I took it all down initially to do some recording (it’s best not to have any unnecessary electronics between your instrument and amplifier for the mic to pic up), but a couple of days later fell into a lethargic low mood slump, which has lasted weeks. The lounge has been in a bit of a state ever since, so it was nice to get things tidied away and setup so I can actually do some electric playing. I’ve mainly been using my Gretsch Rancher acoustic while it’s been a mess. That is a damn fine acoustic though, I must say.
Anyway, just thought I’d check in.
Toodles!
Monday, 13 May 2019
Beginnings, ends and limbos
Have gotten up, even though I’m woefully under-slept and spacing-the-funk-out. Just found the teaspoon in my coffee mug, after thinking I’d washed it or something. I’d literally spooned coffee into the mug a minute earlier. Sigh. I may also have a curry hangover after, you know, eating lots of curry last night. I did add a rather lot of extra spice, I must say.
Well, I woke up feeling rather hopeless this morning, but then stuck on some Arrested Development. It really is an insta-pick-me-up. They should write prescriptions out for boxsets like antidepressants. Today’s episode was a bittersweet one, as I’ve reached the end of the original three season run. The Ron Howard cameo at the end was just beautiful. Don’t think I shall be attempting any of the revivals. It ended just right, for me.
Shall be ordering the Family Guy boxset today, as I’m hoping the similar absurdist humour will fill the Arrested Development gap. The 1-16 case only seems to be around £50, which is cool. I think I need this kinda stuff to watch in bed before the lights go out, as they really do put life into perspective and take the edge off my clinical blues.
Oh, I managed to get out to meet up with friends on Saturday, which went well. It was with my ex and a mutual friend. Wasn’t sure how things would be between me and the ex, as we haven’t really spoken since I finally moved my stuff out of storage at hers a few months ago. I felt it was the final nail in the coffin with regards to our close friendship, mostly due to her behaviour not improving since we split-up in 2016. If anything, it’s gotten worse.
Anyway, everything was very cordial (except from one moment when I felt she was baiting me), and it was nice to meet up with our mutual friend, who has just split-up with their partner. I think the three of us need easy-going friends right now, so it was nice to test out a new era of meet-ups. I hope we can stick to it.
Well, after the meet-up, I went to my local pub (not the nearest, just my regular) after a two week break. When I was in there last it was a Saturday night, which was a bad idea. There’s a reason why I go for drinks in the quiet, sedate afternoon. Nothing bad happened, I just felt really lonely surrounded by all these happy young people together having fun. That’s not really my scene.
Trying to think if there’s anything else to report.
Oh yeah, I’ve had issues with my phone and broadband supplier, so I may call it a day with them. They seem to be going through a phase of tricking people into renewing their contracts with worse deals. We can’t all be business savvy, so it’s not a cool way to treat people. If you can recommend a supplier, do drop me a line!
I managed a bit of guitar practice yesterday but, in general, I’m very uninspired creatively at the moment. This may not be helping my mood. Neither does the lack of sleep. Maybe things will improve in a day or two. We shall say.
Right… toodles, kittens!
Well, I woke up feeling rather hopeless this morning, but then stuck on some Arrested Development. It really is an insta-pick-me-up. They should write prescriptions out for boxsets like antidepressants. Today’s episode was a bittersweet one, as I’ve reached the end of the original three season run. The Ron Howard cameo at the end was just beautiful. Don’t think I shall be attempting any of the revivals. It ended just right, for me.
Shall be ordering the Family Guy boxset today, as I’m hoping the similar absurdist humour will fill the Arrested Development gap. The 1-16 case only seems to be around £50, which is cool. I think I need this kinda stuff to watch in bed before the lights go out, as they really do put life into perspective and take the edge off my clinical blues.
Oh, I managed to get out to meet up with friends on Saturday, which went well. It was with my ex and a mutual friend. Wasn’t sure how things would be between me and the ex, as we haven’t really spoken since I finally moved my stuff out of storage at hers a few months ago. I felt it was the final nail in the coffin with regards to our close friendship, mostly due to her behaviour not improving since we split-up in 2016. If anything, it’s gotten worse.
Anyway, everything was very cordial (except from one moment when I felt she was baiting me), and it was nice to meet up with our mutual friend, who has just split-up with their partner. I think the three of us need easy-going friends right now, so it was nice to test out a new era of meet-ups. I hope we can stick to it.
Well, after the meet-up, I went to my local pub (not the nearest, just my regular) after a two week break. When I was in there last it was a Saturday night, which was a bad idea. There’s a reason why I go for drinks in the quiet, sedate afternoon. Nothing bad happened, I just felt really lonely surrounded by all these happy young people together having fun. That’s not really my scene.
Trying to think if there’s anything else to report.
Oh yeah, I’ve had issues with my phone and broadband supplier, so I may call it a day with them. They seem to be going through a phase of tricking people into renewing their contracts with worse deals. We can’t all be business savvy, so it’s not a cool way to treat people. If you can recommend a supplier, do drop me a line!
I managed a bit of guitar practice yesterday but, in general, I’m very uninspired creatively at the moment. This may not be helping my mood. Neither does the lack of sleep. Maybe things will improve in a day or two. We shall say.
Right… toodles, kittens!
Friday, 10 May 2019
Fine wines, chilli sauce and yoghurt
My mood definition is on hold today, due to a mild hangover. Don’t feel too bad, considering I mixed my drinks quite heavily last night. Think I consumed four beers, half a bottle of whiskey and a couple of bottles of wine. At least I got a decent night’s sleep, which was why I felt compelled to indulge in the first place. Sleep deprivation is, indeed, torture. Anyway, I mostly just watched DVDs. Parks & Rec seems to be my go-to drunk watch these days. Don’t know why. Maybe because it’s a bit campy, and I enjoy watching camp stuff when I’m getting wellied. Think I got a little obnoxious and confrontational on social networking towards the end of the evening, but I don’t seem to have lost any followers over it.
Don’t do drugs, kids.
I was going to pop out today to draw out some cash for my lunch date with a couple of friends tomorrow, but thanks to today’s late lie-in it means I’ll just have to pop out early tomorrow, or just get the driver to stop off at a cash machine on the way, which I’ve done before. I’ve not been to this pub ever, so I want to get a taxi straight there. I kinda know where it is but, due to my mobility issues, I’d just rather not have to worry about getting lost. It’s supposed to be one of the better real ale pubs in town, and Sheffield is pretty heaving with good real ale pubs.
Hoping one of the friends I’m meeting up with isn’t thinking of crashing at my place, as it isn’t fit to receive guests at the moment. The other friend has a bigger place, so if they do need to crash, they can go there. Or they may have gotten a hotel sorted, which they once said they’d do. We shall see. Depends if they’re planning on drinking, I guess.
Was expecting a couple of separate important deliveries today – a bottle of chilli sauce (which failed to come with the chilli flakes I ordered from the same place, so I emailed them about it) and a new SIM card (which I didn’t really want or need, but for some reason BT decided my mobile and broadband contracts had come to an end, so I had to sort out new ones for both) – but neither came, which is a pain. I’m guessing I’ll still be about when the post comes tomorrow, so I should be able to take delivery. Fun, fun, fun.
Just felt compelled to “freshened up” before I started writing this. My head’s certainly a little clearer now. Took me a while to figure out what I was into today (it often changes daily), but I seemed to get there in the end. It definitely needed to be something to do with women, but I wasn’t sure which. It’s usually a little clearer than that. Just one of the few downsides to being bisexual, I guess – it takes a while to centre yourself, porn-wise.
Right, better crack on with whatever and stuff.
Keep the dream alive, folks!
Don’t do drugs, kids.
I was going to pop out today to draw out some cash for my lunch date with a couple of friends tomorrow, but thanks to today’s late lie-in it means I’ll just have to pop out early tomorrow, or just get the driver to stop off at a cash machine on the way, which I’ve done before. I’ve not been to this pub ever, so I want to get a taxi straight there. I kinda know where it is but, due to my mobility issues, I’d just rather not have to worry about getting lost. It’s supposed to be one of the better real ale pubs in town, and Sheffield is pretty heaving with good real ale pubs.
Hoping one of the friends I’m meeting up with isn’t thinking of crashing at my place, as it isn’t fit to receive guests at the moment. The other friend has a bigger place, so if they do need to crash, they can go there. Or they may have gotten a hotel sorted, which they once said they’d do. We shall see. Depends if they’re planning on drinking, I guess.
Was expecting a couple of separate important deliveries today – a bottle of chilli sauce (which failed to come with the chilli flakes I ordered from the same place, so I emailed them about it) and a new SIM card (which I didn’t really want or need, but for some reason BT decided my mobile and broadband contracts had come to an end, so I had to sort out new ones for both) – but neither came, which is a pain. I’m guessing I’ll still be about when the post comes tomorrow, so I should be able to take delivery. Fun, fun, fun.
Just felt compelled to “freshened up” before I started writing this. My head’s certainly a little clearer now. Took me a while to figure out what I was into today (it often changes daily), but I seemed to get there in the end. It definitely needed to be something to do with women, but I wasn’t sure which. It’s usually a little clearer than that. Just one of the few downsides to being bisexual, I guess – it takes a while to centre yourself, porn-wise.
Right, better crack on with whatever and stuff.
Keep the dream alive, folks!
Wednesday, 8 May 2019
Concerning Jim
Well, it’s another rainy day in Rainyville, South Yorkshire. Usually it’s summer-like by about now, but whatevs. Actually, while it is, indeed, usually sunny around May, towards the end of the month, around my birthday, the clouds usually open up again. Funny old thing, huh?
I’m sat waiting for a grocery order, but I’m half tempted to go out to the pub after it’s arrived and I’ve packed everything away, despite the weather. I’m very underslept, and alcohol usually helps that nicely. Oh, I don’t know. I guess I could just have a glass of something at home. Got some cans of shitty lager left too.
My mood improved by the end of yesterday. Think watching fun movies definitely helps. Last night I watched Deathstalker II, which was recommended by Red Letter Media in their Best of the Worst show. It bares almost zero connection or resemblance to the first film, which I think was an Italian film. The second one is all Hollywood. Actors actually laugh on camera at how dumb it all is, so there’s a great spirit to it. If you’re ever in a rubbish mood: Deathstalker II it, baby!
I also managed to get some audioreading done, in particular Dean Koontz’s Strangers and Stephen King’s The Stand. I’m not very adventurous these days with my reading, even though I buy audio or e-books regularly. I buy them with the best of intentions, but then just sink back into my Discworld comfort zone. Being so safe isn’t particularly mind healthy, and I believe is sapping what little creative energy I have. It’s good to change things up and have new experiences. Then again, when you have clinical depression and are a bit of a shut-in, anything to relieve the blues is tempting.
I did have another bought of anxiety when I went to bed, although listening to the “non-fiction” opening chapters of Lord of the Rings helped. Concerning Hobbits, and the like, are more fun for me than the rest of the book. Whether that’s a good thing, or a bad thing, remains unclear.
Oh, before I went to bed, I listened to a lively reading of the notoriously bad piece of fantasy literature “The Eye of Argon”. It was written in 1970 by a 16 year old and is held as the gold standard of bad fantasy fiction. I didn’t think it was all that bad, in fact it was great for a 16 year old, but I believe the problem people find with it is is that not much happens, but the author uses a lot of words (to the point where you lose track of what’s going on due to his endless descriptions). He was obviously inspired by Robert E. Howard and H. P. Lovecraft, but whereas Lovecraft is known for his exhaustingly lavish descriptions, stuff is still going on in the narrative. Again, very little happens in The Eye of Argon, but it’s a novella. But, hey, no matter how "bad" the art you produce is, you still have a one up over most people who laugh at it, because you created something. What have they done?
Anyway, I think that’s enough from me for today. Shall check in at random, peeps.
Toodles!
I’m sat waiting for a grocery order, but I’m half tempted to go out to the pub after it’s arrived and I’ve packed everything away, despite the weather. I’m very underslept, and alcohol usually helps that nicely. Oh, I don’t know. I guess I could just have a glass of something at home. Got some cans of shitty lager left too.
My mood improved by the end of yesterday. Think watching fun movies definitely helps. Last night I watched Deathstalker II, which was recommended by Red Letter Media in their Best of the Worst show. It bares almost zero connection or resemblance to the first film, which I think was an Italian film. The second one is all Hollywood. Actors actually laugh on camera at how dumb it all is, so there’s a great spirit to it. If you’re ever in a rubbish mood: Deathstalker II it, baby!
I also managed to get some audioreading done, in particular Dean Koontz’s Strangers and Stephen King’s The Stand. I’m not very adventurous these days with my reading, even though I buy audio or e-books regularly. I buy them with the best of intentions, but then just sink back into my Discworld comfort zone. Being so safe isn’t particularly mind healthy, and I believe is sapping what little creative energy I have. It’s good to change things up and have new experiences. Then again, when you have clinical depression and are a bit of a shut-in, anything to relieve the blues is tempting.
I did have another bought of anxiety when I went to bed, although listening to the “non-fiction” opening chapters of Lord of the Rings helped. Concerning Hobbits, and the like, are more fun for me than the rest of the book. Whether that’s a good thing, or a bad thing, remains unclear.
Oh, before I went to bed, I listened to a lively reading of the notoriously bad piece of fantasy literature “The Eye of Argon”. It was written in 1970 by a 16 year old and is held as the gold standard of bad fantasy fiction. I didn’t think it was all that bad, in fact it was great for a 16 year old, but I believe the problem people find with it is is that not much happens, but the author uses a lot of words (to the point where you lose track of what’s going on due to his endless descriptions). He was obviously inspired by Robert E. Howard and H. P. Lovecraft, but whereas Lovecraft is known for his exhaustingly lavish descriptions, stuff is still going on in the narrative. Again, very little happens in The Eye of Argon, but it’s a novella. But, hey, no matter how "bad" the art you produce is, you still have a one up over most people who laugh at it, because you created something. What have they done?
Anyway, I think that’s enough from me for today. Shall check in at random, peeps.
Toodles!
Tuesday, 7 May 2019
Battling the usual enemy
For whatever reason, I’ve recently felt the need to keep a more generic diary/journal blog again. So here it is! I post way too regularly on Twitter throughout the day, which people can’t possibly keep track of, so I thought I might just start putting it all in one place. Plus, because people can’t possibly react to everything I post, I start to get a bit needy and upset. So, yeah, The Salad of Convenience is semi-therapy tool, semi-just-whatever tool. I’ll generally try to keep talk of music production and pop culture to my Whittling Post blog, but if things spill over then, well, that’s fine. Rules are for squares, right? Hmmm, not sure why I’m talking like a 90s Gen-X-er, but that’s ok too, I’m afraid.
So, what’s up with me this week? No idea. I was bouncing around like a happy kitty with a new ball of string last week, but now I’m bluer than I can possibly cope with. It’s pounding inside me. The last couple of days I’ve hardly been able to get out of bed or keep myself clean. I forced myself out today with the threat that personal admin needed doing, which I’ve done.
Tuesday’s are usually pub days for me, but I can’t possibly manage going out in this state. Not for anything. I’m arranging a get together with my ex-girlfriend and a mutual friend at the weekend, so I’m hoping I’ll feel better for that.
I’m currently in the midst of an Amazon Prime free trial and a Netflix free trial, which hopefully will give me things to watch while I’m feeling more sedentary than usual.
I just want to defeat these morbid thoughts.
I think.
So, what’s up with me this week? No idea. I was bouncing around like a happy kitty with a new ball of string last week, but now I’m bluer than I can possibly cope with. It’s pounding inside me. The last couple of days I’ve hardly been able to get out of bed or keep myself clean. I forced myself out today with the threat that personal admin needed doing, which I’ve done.
Tuesday’s are usually pub days for me, but I can’t possibly manage going out in this state. Not for anything. I’m arranging a get together with my ex-girlfriend and a mutual friend at the weekend, so I’m hoping I’ll feel better for that.
I’m currently in the midst of an Amazon Prime free trial and a Netflix free trial, which hopefully will give me things to watch while I’m feeling more sedentary than usual.
I just want to defeat these morbid thoughts.
I think.
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