I’ve had a suspiciously upbeat week, which may very well be breaking finally. Maybe it’s because I haven’t drank in nearly a month, but I have felt more positive, and even my gaming has been improving. But, yes, in the last twenty-four hours, I’ve felt a little low again, so I’m concerned I’m about to crash.
My week has mostly been spent playing Rainbow Six: Siege multiplayer, which I used to only be able to play either drunk or with a “wing-man” AKA my old gaming buddy, so it’s quite shocking that I’ve felt brave enough to enter the often-unfriendly arena of multiplayer gaming by myself. I have turned the game’s party chat volume down, and changed my privacy settings so I can’t receive messages from people I haven’t friended on PSN, so that’s blocked the usual verbal abuse I get from people (and my fear of it), and I think my confidence has increased as a result. There have been a few incidents that have upset me though, but their impact usually fades after a good night’s sleep. Here’s an example of some of the unpleasant people you can encounter:
I’d literally just met that guy and already he was being awful to me. I had hardly said anything, and that’s what I got. You can tell he’s a classic school bully type, abusing others just so he can impress his mates. Sigh.
My sleep pattern has generally been back on track and healthy, with me regularly waking up around ten in the morning. That’s the perfect time for me. I did get up after only five hours sleep on Saturday, but I really needed to go out to pick up my antidepressants and purchase a gas meter top-up. I’ve been without hot water for a few weeks, as I lost my top-up card. Well, after I went out to the shop, I managed to stay awake until ten that evening, thus tiring myself out with a seventeen hour day. Needless to say, it didn’t take me long to drift off to sleep that night. In fact, I was so out of it by the end of the day that I forgot to add to my creative writing project, which I’ve managed to stick to my “write something, even if it’s just a paragraph, a day” rule.
The weather was getting me down, as it just didn’t seem to want to stop raining, which is odd for July. Apparently, we’re due a heatwave this week, which I’m not looking forward to. Oh well, I’m sure it’ll be autumn soon enough. Never has a year gone so quickly as this one, I guess because we’ve hardly had anything to do. While life seems slow in the moment, days without incident do tend to fly by. If you cram your time with experiences, each day can feel like a lifetime. In a good way. 2020 has just been an agonising river of nothing.
My regular pub is finally opening back up but, after a perusal of the new guidelines they’ve published that customers have to abide by, I think I’ll hold off paying them a visit until this is all over for good. I was very downhearted. They’re not even opening in the afternoon during the week, which is when I prefer to go. I’d have thought that that would be the best time to test this all out, given how quiet it is during that period. It’s usually just single, middle-aged dudes like me who frequent the establishment, so why they want to start off with times where groups of people usually go is beyond me. There’s nowt so queer as folk. I was so disappointed by the new guidelines that I put in an order for a case of beer form that independent brewery I I’ve found during these quiet months. I think I’m about to take a break from sobriety. My sudden dip in mood certainly seems to be beckoning for a drink. You know, because alcohol really helps depression.
Oh, wait, I meant the other thing.
Anyway, yes, due to submerging myself back into gaming, the days have flown by. Shockingly so. I’ve not watched any new films as a result. Even my Planet of the Apes season has taken a backseat. I was only a few episodes into the TV series when I stopped. It was a pretty good run though, for me. I’m sure I’ll pick up where I left off soon enough.
I’m still working my way through the core first three seasons of Arrested Development which, when I’m in the right mood, is an absolute joy. I’ve even been trying to get my old gaming buddy into it, as I managed to get him addicted to Parks & Recreation. I think I’ve started annoying him though, so I’ve stopped my hard-sell tactic. I’ll forever be jealous of Ellen DeGeneres for bagging the truly wonderful Portia de Rossi. I can imagine even gay guys and straight women fall for her. She’s just that awesome.
So, yeah, that’s about it, culture-wise. No new films. No new books. No new music. Just sinking into pointless gaming. It’ll just be another one of my phases though, so I’m sure I’ll be back enthusing over new stuff soon enough. Never fear!
My old gaming buddy managed to get a television sorted, so he’s been back online. We’ve had a couple of chats, which has been nice. Here's one of my favourite moments from our recent sessions:
Mainly we’ve been texting though. I think he actually flirted with me the other day, which took me by surprise. I was describing the manager of my local chemist who I have a crush on, and my old gaming buddy was all like “Oh, that sounds like me!”, in a coquettish sort of way. I’ll try not to read too much into it, but it’s the first time that’s happened. Maybe he’d had a large bang on the head earlier that day. Who knows.
Well, folks, I think I’ll call it a day here. I’m sure I’ll post again once I’m back at the bottom of a bottle, where I belong. Fun, fun, fun.
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Toodles!
Monday, 13 July 2020
Sunday, 5 July 2020
June, July and JETPACKS!
My mood and general interest in doing stuff has improved over the last week, which is a relief. It definitely must have just been one of my “fun” little mental phases that has now run its course. In fact, I’ve been so active with my hobbies that I’ve not gotten drunk in about two weeks. Impressive, huh? I’m sure there’s no connection. None at all. Not one.
Anyway…
So, yes, I’ve managed to stick to my creative writing, having added some strict discipline to the process. I now write a chapter each night before bed (my most creative period), even if that chapter is just a paragraph explaining the general goings on, which will, inevitably, be fleshed-out in further drafts. Sometimes I surprise myself and write about a page, including dialogue, which is encouraging. I’m not putting any pressure on myself, which is what usually kills my motivation. The aim is just to get the bare-bones of a first draft written, with the basic series of core events outlined. Who knows, maybe I’ll have a novel written by the end of the year. Stranger things have happened.
I’ve also been listening to a bit more music, although nothing too new. I’ve gotten back into Arcade Fire, even though their second album comes with some emotional baggage (due to my circumstances when it was released back in 2007). I’m sticking to their first three albums, as Reflektor and Everything Now appear to represent a dip in quality. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten to the end of Reflektor, actually. It’s kind of depressing that Win Butler is the same age as me. He’s definitely achieved slightly more than I have, in the same amount of time. Oh well.
I finished watching the recent Planet of the Apes prequels, which was a wonderful experience. As I mentioned in my last post, movies about animals are not my favourite, which is why I’ve been putting off watching these, but I’m glad I finally bit the bullet. The second film, Dawn, is possibly the best, but War has a wonderful musical score and some great moments. It just feels a little aimless. It was fun having Woody Harrelson play the villain, even though he’s a very difficult man to hate. I wasn’t convinced I’d believe in his character, due to Woody’s likeability, but he worked hard enough to convince me of his dastardliness. Was he drunk at the end, or had he succumbed to the de-evolving virus? I wasn’t sure. I still think Caesar should have given him the doll, and not the gun, but whatevs. Steve Zahn was great as Bad Ape. Zahn was last on my list of actors I thought was doing the voice, so it was a nice surprise to find out that it was him. I always think Zahn is more famous than he actually is, which is a shame. I didn’t recognise much in his filmography. He seems like a nice guy. Fame seems pretty awful anyway, to be honest. So, as you can probably tell, I have a lot to say about War, even though Dawn is the better film. I’d recommend watching the whole trilogy. I actually found myself missing James Franco from the first film, which I didn’t think was physically possible. Life is full of surprises! Well, I’m now onto the short-lived 70s TV series, which is amiably naff. Roddy McDowell is superb though, and seems to be keeping the whole thing afloat. It’s apparently set before the Charlton Heston film, even though I think it’s actually after. I genuinely believe they just got the dates wrong. Fact-checking movie trivia wasn’t quite as easy back in the 70s as it is now but, even if it is wrong, it’s all I have to go by. There are only fourteen episode, of which I’m watching one a night. It’s actually quite a nice way to wind down before moving through to the bedroom.
I seem to be gaming a lot more at the moment, but it’s still nice having the standalone DVD/Blu-ray player for when I just want to switch off from the social aspect of modern gaming. I just bought a jetpack in GTA Online. Go me! My old gaming buddy still hasn’t gotten a new TV sorted, but we’re in daily textual contact. I’ve offered to buy him a new one, but he’s agreed to seek other options first. I’m fine with buying him one as, well, there’s nothing else to spend my money on at the moment (besides food and bills, of course).
I went for a walk on Friday to post my repeat prescription at the GP surgery, which seemed to be open again. Well, there were a lot more cars in the parking lot than there have been since March, but I’m not sure whether patients are allowed in yet. Apparently, this weekend is when hospitality business are allowed to reopen but, as I mentioned last week, my regular pub won’t be opening its doors until the lockdown easing guidelines are less restrictive. That first pint on my return will be a glorious thing indeed. I’ll be sure to take a picture.
I think I’m going to try to get out for a walk every day now, as my fitness level is perilously low. I have nowhere to aim for on my walk, so I’ll just do a circular plod to the nearby shops and back. Keep it simple. Any further and I’ll start having to deal with hills, which I’ll need to work up to. Everywhere in Sheffield is either uphill or downhill. It’s a thing.
I’ve started watching Arrested Development in bed at night, which I think is also helping to improve my mood. It’s such a funny show, and I’m glad it was short-lived. Long-running sitcoms in America just become depressing after a while. The first run of three seasons was just right. I’m not even going to bother with anything that came after.
That woman who works at my regular pub has gotten back in touch. She stopped texting me after we went for our friendly walk a few months ago, so I was worried I’d said something off but, no, apparently she’s just been stressed with some personal stuff. I’m glad, as she’s a very sweet person, and there always seems to be a nice vibe between us when we sporadically bump into each other at the pub. It’d be nice if a stronger bond develops, but I’m trying not to get my hopes up just yet. I probably will though. You know what I’m like.
Right, I best go practice my jetpack flying to impress nobody with. I’ll let you know if my current sobriety has ended in my next post. I haven’t stopped drinking as a rule, I think I just got bored of feeling like crap every day. Seems fair.
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Toodles!
Anyway…
So, yes, I’ve managed to stick to my creative writing, having added some strict discipline to the process. I now write a chapter each night before bed (my most creative period), even if that chapter is just a paragraph explaining the general goings on, which will, inevitably, be fleshed-out in further drafts. Sometimes I surprise myself and write about a page, including dialogue, which is encouraging. I’m not putting any pressure on myself, which is what usually kills my motivation. The aim is just to get the bare-bones of a first draft written, with the basic series of core events outlined. Who knows, maybe I’ll have a novel written by the end of the year. Stranger things have happened.
I’ve also been listening to a bit more music, although nothing too new. I’ve gotten back into Arcade Fire, even though their second album comes with some emotional baggage (due to my circumstances when it was released back in 2007). I’m sticking to their first three albums, as Reflektor and Everything Now appear to represent a dip in quality. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten to the end of Reflektor, actually. It’s kind of depressing that Win Butler is the same age as me. He’s definitely achieved slightly more than I have, in the same amount of time. Oh well.
I finished watching the recent Planet of the Apes prequels, which was a wonderful experience. As I mentioned in my last post, movies about animals are not my favourite, which is why I’ve been putting off watching these, but I’m glad I finally bit the bullet. The second film, Dawn, is possibly the best, but War has a wonderful musical score and some great moments. It just feels a little aimless. It was fun having Woody Harrelson play the villain, even though he’s a very difficult man to hate. I wasn’t convinced I’d believe in his character, due to Woody’s likeability, but he worked hard enough to convince me of his dastardliness. Was he drunk at the end, or had he succumbed to the de-evolving virus? I wasn’t sure. I still think Caesar should have given him the doll, and not the gun, but whatevs. Steve Zahn was great as Bad Ape. Zahn was last on my list of actors I thought was doing the voice, so it was a nice surprise to find out that it was him. I always think Zahn is more famous than he actually is, which is a shame. I didn’t recognise much in his filmography. He seems like a nice guy. Fame seems pretty awful anyway, to be honest. So, as you can probably tell, I have a lot to say about War, even though Dawn is the better film. I’d recommend watching the whole trilogy. I actually found myself missing James Franco from the first film, which I didn’t think was physically possible. Life is full of surprises! Well, I’m now onto the short-lived 70s TV series, which is amiably naff. Roddy McDowell is superb though, and seems to be keeping the whole thing afloat. It’s apparently set before the Charlton Heston film, even though I think it’s actually after. I genuinely believe they just got the dates wrong. Fact-checking movie trivia wasn’t quite as easy back in the 70s as it is now but, even if it is wrong, it’s all I have to go by. There are only fourteen episode, of which I’m watching one a night. It’s actually quite a nice way to wind down before moving through to the bedroom.
I seem to be gaming a lot more at the moment, but it’s still nice having the standalone DVD/Blu-ray player for when I just want to switch off from the social aspect of modern gaming. I just bought a jetpack in GTA Online. Go me! My old gaming buddy still hasn’t gotten a new TV sorted, but we’re in daily textual contact. I’ve offered to buy him a new one, but he’s agreed to seek other options first. I’m fine with buying him one as, well, there’s nothing else to spend my money on at the moment (besides food and bills, of course).
I went for a walk on Friday to post my repeat prescription at the GP surgery, which seemed to be open again. Well, there were a lot more cars in the parking lot than there have been since March, but I’m not sure whether patients are allowed in yet. Apparently, this weekend is when hospitality business are allowed to reopen but, as I mentioned last week, my regular pub won’t be opening its doors until the lockdown easing guidelines are less restrictive. That first pint on my return will be a glorious thing indeed. I’ll be sure to take a picture.
I think I’m going to try to get out for a walk every day now, as my fitness level is perilously low. I have nowhere to aim for on my walk, so I’ll just do a circular plod to the nearby shops and back. Keep it simple. Any further and I’ll start having to deal with hills, which I’ll need to work up to. Everywhere in Sheffield is either uphill or downhill. It’s a thing.
I’ve started watching Arrested Development in bed at night, which I think is also helping to improve my mood. It’s such a funny show, and I’m glad it was short-lived. Long-running sitcoms in America just become depressing after a while. The first run of three seasons was just right. I’m not even going to bother with anything that came after.
That woman who works at my regular pub has gotten back in touch. She stopped texting me after we went for our friendly walk a few months ago, so I was worried I’d said something off but, no, apparently she’s just been stressed with some personal stuff. I’m glad, as she’s a very sweet person, and there always seems to be a nice vibe between us when we sporadically bump into each other at the pub. It’d be nice if a stronger bond develops, but I’m trying not to get my hopes up just yet. I probably will though. You know what I’m like.
Right, I best go practice my jetpack flying to impress nobody with. I’ll let you know if my current sobriety has ended in my next post. I haven’t stopped drinking as a rule, I think I just got bored of feeling like crap every day. Seems fair.
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Toodles!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)