A long time ago, in a one-bedroom council flat far, far away...

I’m writing this as I sip my 4 pm breakfast coffee. Yes, my sleep pattern is disturbed. Again. It does just seem to come out of nowhere. I went to bed, genuinely tired, at about 8 pm last night, but found myself still pottering about at first light. I usually assume it’s the booze that messes my sleep up but, apparently, it’s not, as I’m still not drinking at the moment. I kept getting those strange adrenaline seizures last night. About for of them. Which force me out of bed to do something stimulating. No, not THAT. Just anything. One day I’ll get my doctor to actually give me a diagnosis but, for now, I’ll stick to my theory that it’s something to do with my nyctalopia.

They’ve dropped a major updated for the dreadful Windows 10 recently, so I’m still finding things they’ve changed. If they just returned everything, apart from their great accessibility features, back to how they were 25 years ago, then that’d be great. Trying to compete with Apple, and making cosmetic changes just for the sake of it, clearly isn’t working for them. My next laptop will definitely be a Mac, which I’ve nearly got the money for. I’ve had enough of Microsoft.

Well, the one positive thing about insomnia is that I get a lot of audiobook listening done. I’ve started the Great Courses lecture series on King Arthur, by the fabulous Dorsey Armstrong. She VERY seems keen to raise awareness for a historical subject that, even an Englishman like myself, doesn’t know all that much about, which is great. I found her enthusiasm a bit grating at the start (the word “awesome” is uttered, perhaps, once too often), but she seems to be calming down now. I really respect the amount of work that’s been put into researching the Arthurian legend, as a lot of the information is buried in Welsh poetry, which can’t be too fun to trawl through. The one thing that’s upsetting me about this, and other history books I’ve been audioreading lately, is that, well, it makes you feel rotten about being English. I don’t know who my pre-500CE ancestors were but, if they were Anglo Saxon invaders, then the past 15 hundred years have just been a nonstop shit-show of awfulness, on our part. But, hey, that was the past, so I’m trying to just enjoy hearing about a bygone age. But, yeah, this country belongs to the Cymru people. Oh and I’ve managed to memorise “1, 6, 23”. Erm, I think. If you listen to Dorsey’s lectures, you’ll know what that’s a reference to.

One of the upsides to me listening to all these history books, is that they’re giving me inspiration for my own prose writing. I’m still working on my new creative writing project, which is astonishing, even to me. Not its quality, but just the fact that I’m still going. I’m sure my motivation will dry up soon, but I hope it doesn’t. I’ve still not decided where or when to set it but, so far, it’s in a sort of post-Bronze Age/pre-Industrial Age Italy. So, yeah, pretty well defined there. It’s been fun trying to find non-stereotypical Italian names, to use for my characters. I basically find an Italian film on IMDb and go through the crew list until I find something that sounds interesting. I’ll let you know how I get on.

My gaming buddy is still mostly absent right now, although he did text me yesterday to ask whether I was free over the weekend. I said I wasn’t sure, as I don’t really like being slotted into other peoples’ lives like that. There was a time when ewe chatted every day but, well, now he’s out of my routine. Like I’ve said before, he doesn’t do it on purpose, but somebody with as little going on in their life as myself is prone to noticing gaps in communication more. I’m not needy I just, I dunno, enjoy consistency.

I’m guessing my sleep pattern will get worse over the weekend, but I’ll try to correct it as I go. I was going to order a takeaway today, but even my appetite has been a bit off lately. If I sit down to eat something, then I’m fine. It’s just the idea of food that’s not exciting me.

I have felt a little more sexual lately, which is nice. I think my transgender feminine side has returned. I don’t think I’ve felt like this in over a year. Maybe two. It was nice engaging in some nasty anal masturbation on Tuesday or Wednesday. It felt SO great. I just wish I could get an actual real-life human cock in there. It’s been a while. I was so exhausted afterwards, as I very rarely exert any energy these days. But, hey, it was worth it.

I’ve not watched any more Walking Dead since the boxset arrived the other week. I’ve just not been in the mod. I’ve been more into my foreign films. In fact, I got annoyed going through the Roberto Rossellini boxsets I have as, much to my dismay, there were a lot of English speaking roles in the ITALIAN films. Perhaps my not wanting to listen to my own language is linked to the horror I’ve been experiencing listening to history audiobooks. Nothing would surprise me.

Music wise… hmmm… I seem to have settled on Radiohead now. I’ve made a bunch of playlists for their albums and many b-sides, shuffling songs around or removing them altogether, should I not like them. I also made a Manic Street Preachers playlist last night for their first three albums. I’ve not gone through an MSP phase in just the longest time. Hopefully, this desire will stick around a while. We shall see.

Well, I best pop off and go for my shower, then sort out a takeaway (if I’m in the mood for one). Don’t be surprised if you find me posting at strange times over the next week or so. In various states of mental deterioration.

Good times.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!