A rainy day in hell

Rather shockingly, the air moved today. Like, there was an actual breeze. It rained too, but that had been forecast for a few days. I hear down south got it first, so it clearly took a while to mooch its way up north. Anyway, it was nice to not be sweating while sitting perfectly still for a change. The heavy rain meant that, just after dinner, there was a knocking at my door. Apparently, water started leaking from my balcony to the flat downstairs. I doubt it’s that big of a deal, as the deluge was very intense, so unforeseen leakages/floods/whatever were bound to happen. Basically, the council are going to turn up at random to repave my balcony, which I’m not too sure I like the sound of. Quite why I have to make appointments to see them, but then they get to turn up at my home whenever the fuck it suits them, well, it just creams my corn. Woah, I’ve never used that expression before. Think I’ve been watching too much American television. Anyway, it’s going to make my planned alcoholic binge tomorrow a little complicated. Maybe I should wait until the weekend. But I shouldn’t have to, right? Oh I don’t know. People suck.

I think I’ve now missed nearly a week’s worth of antidepressants. The hot weather has kept me indoors, plus my sleep pattern is, as always, rather all over the place. I’m wondering whether missing a load might actually help jumpstart their effect, as I’ve been having the major gloomies recently. Like, DEFCON 2 sorta stuff. It’s worked in the past. I believe Carrie Fisher used to have electroconvulsive therapy for the same reason. Bless. I’ll try and get out tomorrow to post my prescription, using taking my rubbish down to the wheelie bins as motivation. I’m not getting too dizzy yet, so I’ll feel safe walking, plus the cooler temperature will make it slightly more pleasant. The kids are off school though, so I may get picked on for using my white cane. Adults do it too though, so I might not notice much difference.

No pub yet, but that one in town I think I mentioned in my last post has started opening at midday now. I tried to ring them yesterday to ask whether you had to unnecessarily adhere to social distancing inside, but nobody answered. They get a lot of cold callers.

I contacted a local amplifier repair guy to ask if he could build me a cute, retro-50s transistor amp, as such a thing doesn’t exist for under £1,500 at the moment. He said the idea was a bit too arts-and-crafts for him, which I totally understand, so I bought a distortion pedal off him instead, as I noticed on his website he’d started building and selling them independently. I thought that was a nice thing to do. He’s going to drop it off himself at some point, hopefully before I’ve started drinking. We shall see. I did find a new “boutique” amp range very close to the sort of thing I want, the Tone King Falcon Grande, but it’s waaay above my price point. And spec requirement. If kitschy retro styles are coming back, then maybe the mainstream brands will end up making some in my price range. You never know.

I’ve still not been in touch with my gaming buddy, which I’ve found very easy to do. I think I must have come to peace with him not being around anymore last year, when he first started disappearing for weeks on end. I don’t like being kept on a long leash. Be a close friend or a casual text-every-now-and-then friend. Not both. My heart just isn’t strong enough, and I don’t think he needs me in his life anymore. Sigh.

Oh, I’ve oddly drifted into vegetarianism this week. I have no idea why. Perhaps just for a change. I even ordered an Indian takeaway with no meat in any of the dishes. I half expected the delivery guy to ask if everything was ok with me. He didn’t. The food was still great though. If you’re ever in Sheffield and need a good curry house, I’ll ping you the restaurant’s name. Golly, lost my train of thought there. Veggie food, yes, that was it! So, yeah, I’ve got vegan cheese and the like clogging up my fridge at the moment. Meat-style sandwich slices are nice as a snack, but totally get lost in the flavour mix once they’re added to a sandwich… which is what you’re supposed to do with them. Oh well, live and learn.

My antidepressant withdrawals means my cultural interests are all over the place this week. I usually lie in bed at night listening to history reference books these days, but I’ve gone back to Discworld while I’m feeling weird. They’re my, like, emotional lifeboat, I think.

Speaking of which, I only got out of bed for a few minutes due to feeling felt restless, so I think I’ll quickly post this and head on back UNDER the duvet. Yes, you heard me, it’s now cool enough to climb under the sheets! Hurrah! It’s the little things.

Damn, it’s still too early to wish you a good weekend. Erm, have a good Thursday, or Friday, if you read this a day late. Or something. I dunno.

Can you tell my brain isn’t working right?

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

Beware of geeks bearing gifts

Well, as sort-of promised, here’s a calmer, more detailed report on my general goings on than my psychotic rant on Monday. I’m still mightily miffed though, so don’t think that that’s over. But, hey, I’m guessing everybody’s a bit confused about what to do, since the government misleadingly said “it’s over but not really”. Hopefully my regular pub will post this weekend that they’re back open again at lunchtime next week. If not, then there’s one in town that I used to go to which seems positive about such changes. I want so very little in life, but the universe seems intent on making that little thing difficult. Sigh.

So, apart from all that alcoholic drama, I haven’t posted anything in a few months because… well… I’m not sure why. I guess I’ve just not felt very creative. It happens. I’ve not been too busy or anything, so I can’t use that as an excuse. My birthday was as dull as you can imagine. It basically involved getting drunk and eating curry alone. No presents, apart from a £30 voucher from mum, which went on a few DVDs. Basically, I had to treat myself, so I put an order in with the Gordon Smith guitar company for a custom built Les Paul-style which, because they’re a British-based company, wasn’t as expensive as you’d expect (no import duty!). They estimated that it’ll be ready in twelve weeks, so I’ve got roughly another month to wait. You can’t imagine how excited I am! I’ll try and do a video gear review once it’s arrived, depending on how confident I feel about having my whole tubby form be on-screen. Speaking of guitars, the Rickenbacker I bought over Christmas actually works now. I don’t know whether it was because I bought it during winter and maybe it was stored improperly, but the strings seem to have risen on the fretboard, making it playable. Perhaps the wood contracted/expanded or something. Anyway, It’s a relief, as it’d been collecting dust for months and months while I waited for the music shop to open so I could get it repaired. Now there’s no need, and it sounds great!

Oh I also treated myself to the fifteenth anniversary boxset of British Sea Power’s debut album, The Decline of British Sea Power. It was around the £100 mark, but it was totally worth it. There are some nice vinyl editions in there, which I won’t be able to play until… you guessed it!... I sort out a vinyl record player. Let me know if there are any brands/models you can recommend. Here’s my little video tour of the boxset, with commentary:

I’ve gotten into American Dad recently, as I ran out of Family Guy episodes in that boxset. The quality of American Dad is far more consistent than Family Guy’s, but it obviously doesn’t have Stewie Griffin in it, which will hamper even the best television show. Roger was fun at first, but he seems to have become the show’s antagonist now, so I feel unsafe whenever he’s on-screen. A far cry from the loveably camp alcoholic he started out as! Steve’s great, and it’s amusing how the creators like to get him and his friends naked as much as possible. Not awkward at all. I watched the first Critters film last night, having bought the 1-4 set years ago. I’d forgotten how adorable Scott Grimes, the voice of Steve, was in it. Shame about his grotesque mullet in Critters 2, but hey-ho. So, yes, apart from the brief break I’m taking at the moment, I’m really enjoying American Dad and hope to crack on with it asap.

I’ve not been into films much recently, although I think that’s about to change. I’ve dug out a pile of discs to watch, so maybe my sitcom-only viewing schedule will diversify over the weekend. The boxsets for the Rome and Spartacus TV series just arrived, so I’ve got those to work through. I’ve been meaning to watch these two unrelated shows for a while, but was concerned they’d be a bit too macho for me. We shall see.

It’s been super-hot this week, but that’s no surprise for this time of year. I’m having to sleep without a duvet, but with a pile of towels beneath me instead (to soak up the perspiration). I’m not a fan of the sun, needless to say. An additional negative side-effect of such weather is that all the locals become noisier than usual. As they say, “Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noon day sun”. It’s true. It’s really, really true. Although dogs are usually better behaved than the scum who live around me. Harsh, but true.

I’ve finally had enough of my gaming buddy, who I’ve removed from my phone and console friends list. He’s been a pretty rubbish friend over the past year and a half, and things don’t seem to be improving. He claims to be too busy at the moment, but he still lives at home, isn’t paying rent, doesn’t have a job and has no other hobbies besides gaming. So I’m dubious. I think I’ve become “that mate who doesn’t mind being blown off, so he’s at the bottom of the priority list”. Nah, not on my watch. He finally noticed today that I’d unfriended him and messaged me about it, but I’ve not responded. I’m done. I foresee a lonely life ahead of me, but I’m finally coming to peace with that. Just so long as the frigging pubs open properly.

Well, I think I’ve come to the end of this post. There’s little to look forward to at the moment, so my send-off will probably be pretty muted. I sincerely hope that my next post will include a photograph of my first pint back in the pub, but I’ve said that quite a few times over the past year and a quarter, I’m sure.

Oh wait, I think it is my Audible credit day today, so at least I’ll be able to download a new audiobook. There. See? It’s not all negative. I think I’ll spend my credit on the eighty hour translation of Plutarch’s Parallel Lives of the Noble Greeks and Romans, which guarantees to be a hoot.

Anyway, do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

 

Hell hath no fury like a lonely alcoholic scorned

If you can’t hear from where you are, I’m screaming right ow. But you probably can.

So the government’s said that it’s all over, and we can now (Monday 19 July 2021) put our lives back to normal but, for reasons that will forever baffle me, they’ve dropped a note on their website basically saying: “But if you can just carry on with the restrictions anyway, just to piss off Jim, then that’d be great”.

And companies, including my regular pub which I haven't been able to go to for a year and a third, are ACTUALLY doing it.

The government LIED TO US. Halting at Stage 3 for another month was about being cautious. WHY ARE THEY LYING TO US?!

Fuck old people. Fuck the sick. Fuck kids. Fuck everyone. I want to go to the pub at 11:30am and not have to suffocate myself with face coverings. I want to be free and, while we are now “allowed” to, people are still going along with it. And why? Because social distancing has become everybody’s little project and a way of controlling those around them, and being “cool about covid” is chic. Well, chic can kiss my fat fucking ass.

But, anyway, apart from the above INFURIATING news, I’m a bit blah at the moment. Creativity is so-so, drinking alone is high, gaming is neutral, relations are next to nothing.

The light at the end of the tunnel got switched off, this afternoon. Everyone sucks, and I’m sick of not saying it anymore.

Fuck everything.

Don’t stay in touch, I’ve had enough of the lot of you.

Toodles!

P.S. A more positive, detailed, sane post should drop in a few days, once I’ve stopped screaming. Or will it? I'm probably just saying things will be back to normal, then backtrack.