Wednesday, 28 July 2021

A rainy day in hell

Rather shockingly, the air moved today. Like, there was an actual breeze. It rained too, but that had been forecast for a few days. I hear down south got it first, so it clearly took a while to mooch its way up north. Anyway, it was nice to not be sweating while sitting perfectly still for a change. The heavy rain meant that, just after dinner, there was a knocking at my door. Apparently, water started leaking from my balcony to the flat downstairs. I doubt it’s that big of a deal, as the deluge was very intense, so unforeseen leakages/floods/whatever were bound to happen. Basically, the council are going to turn up at random to repave my balcony, which I’m not too sure I like the sound of. Quite why I have to make appointments to see them, but then they get to turn up at my home whenever the fuck it suits them, well, it just creams my corn. Woah, I’ve never used that expression before. Think I’ve been watching too much American television. Anyway, it’s going to make my planned alcoholic binge tomorrow a little complicated. Maybe I should wait until the weekend. But I shouldn’t have to, right? Oh I don’t know. People suck.

I think I’ve now missed nearly a week’s worth of antidepressants. The hot weather has kept me indoors, plus my sleep pattern is, as always, rather all over the place. I’m wondering whether missing a load might actually help jumpstart their effect, as I’ve been having the major gloomies recently. Like, DEFCON 2 sorta stuff. It’s worked in the past. I believe Carrie Fisher used to have electroconvulsive therapy for the same reason. Bless. I’ll try and get out tomorrow to post my prescription, using taking my rubbish down to the wheelie bins as motivation. I’m not getting too dizzy yet, so I’ll feel safe walking, plus the cooler temperature will make it slightly more pleasant. The kids are off school though, so I may get picked on for using my white cane. Adults do it too though, so I might not notice much difference.

No pub yet, but that one in town I think I mentioned in my last post has started opening at midday now. I tried to ring them yesterday to ask whether you had to unnecessarily adhere to social distancing inside, but nobody answered. They get a lot of cold callers.

I contacted a local amplifier repair guy to ask if he could build me a cute, retro-50s transistor amp, as such a thing doesn’t exist for under £1,500 at the moment. He said the idea was a bit too arts-and-crafts for him, which I totally understand, so I bought a distortion pedal off him instead, as I noticed on his website he’d started building and selling them independently. I thought that was a nice thing to do. He’s going to drop it off himself at some point, hopefully before I’ve started drinking. We shall see. I did find a new “boutique” amp range very close to the sort of thing I want, the Tone King Falcon Grande, but it’s waaay above my price point. And spec requirement. If kitschy retro styles are coming back, then maybe the mainstream brands will end up making some in my price range. You never know.

I’ve still not been in touch with my gaming buddy, which I’ve found very easy to do. I think I must have come to peace with him not being around anymore last year, when he first started disappearing for weeks on end. I don’t like being kept on a long leash. Be a close friend or a casual text-every-now-and-then friend. Not both. My heart just isn’t strong enough, and I don’t think he needs me in his life anymore. Sigh.

Oh, I’ve oddly drifted into vegetarianism this week. I have no idea why. Perhaps just for a change. I even ordered an Indian takeaway with no meat in any of the dishes. I half expected the delivery guy to ask if everything was ok with me. He didn’t. The food was still great though. If you’re ever in Sheffield and need a good curry house, I’ll ping you the restaurant’s name. Golly, lost my train of thought there. Veggie food, yes, that was it! So, yeah, I’ve got vegan cheese and the like clogging up my fridge at the moment. Meat-style sandwich slices are nice as a snack, but totally get lost in the flavour mix once they’re added to a sandwich… which is what you’re supposed to do with them. Oh well, live and learn.

My antidepressant withdrawals means my cultural interests are all over the place this week. I usually lie in bed at night listening to history reference books these days, but I’ve gone back to Discworld while I’m feeling weird. They’re my, like, emotional lifeboat, I think.

Speaking of which, I only got out of bed for a few minutes due to feeling felt restless, so I think I’ll quickly post this and head on back UNDER the duvet. Yes, you heard me, it’s now cool enough to climb under the sheets! Hurrah! It’s the little things.

Damn, it’s still too early to wish you a good weekend. Erm, have a good Thursday, or Friday, if you read this a day late. Or something. I dunno.

Can you tell my brain isn’t working right?

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

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