In Bed with Mah Donner Kebab

Well, something’s definitely up, as I feel just terrible. It’s sometimes hard to tell when you’re a binge-drinking alcoholic when you are genuinely ill (and not just suffering from yet another hangover), but I’m pretty sure this is the real deal. I’ve been in bed 24-hours and haven’t eaten. Or bathed. I finally have just had a dunk though, so I’m feeling a lot fresher. This definitely feels like the flu, or I guess it could also be… the other thing. I’m very drowsy and have been coughing a lot, so you never know. Due to me now having diabetes, it’s apparently more likely for me to catch these things and not react well to them. At the risk of sounding like the drama queen I am, if I don’t post again in a week or so, you’ll know something’s happened.

But, anyway, besides all that nonsense, I finally managed to pick up my medication on Wednesday, so I’ve been adjusting back to those. Maybe that’s what’s making me ill. I did miss a week-and-a-half’s worth, after all. The horrid “battery acid” dizziness that comes with accidentally going off antidepressants went almost immediately. That’s one good thing about Sertraline – they’re fast acting after you’ve missed a few.

Some drama seems to be brewing between me and my ex. I’ve not felt particularly inclined to stay in touch with her recently, for various reasons, and she now seems to be picking up on this. She tried calling me yesterday (we haven’t spoken over the phone in well over a year), but I didn’t answer. I’m just not emotionally, or physically, strong enough for this teenage drama b.s. at the moment. She’s never proven to be a particularly loyal friend, although not in a vindictive kind of way. She’s just frustratingly in her own little world and can barely find interest in the people around her. She’d deny this, of course, and start crying, therefore making it all about her, but it's true. Urgh. I just… can’t… be arsed.

My guitar guru and I are still chatting, although I keep expecting him to tell me to put a sock in it for a while. Unfortunately, there are limitless things to talk about if you’re into playing guitar, which is bad news for him. Oh well, I’ll try going quiet for a bit. I’m not after anything, I just get bored and lonely.

Speaking of guitar, I’ve started playing whilst stood up with the guitar strapped around me. I guess I just fancied trying something different, and I seem to be getting into this. There’s really no need for me to play this way, as it’s not like I’m in a band or anything but, well, sometimes just little tweaks to one’s life here and there can improve things and open the floodgates to inspiration!

I have been meaning to get a takeaway over these past few days but, because of my weird sleep pattern and feeling ill, I’ve not gotten around to it. They’ll not be opening for another eleven hours, so I should probably find something in the cupboard to snack on. Trying to decide which genre of food I fancy. Perhaps some Chinese.

Anyway, I’m going to leave it there, as this has been a bit of a struggle. I just felt like I needed to talk to someone, as it kinda sucks being ill when you’re all alone. I’ll be sure to post an update before next Sunday.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!