Confrontations and revelations

Yesterday afternoon I got our housemate to apologise to my girlfriend for the stress she’s caused over the past week or so. Regardless of whether she wants to help herself or not (she couldn’t be bothered to wait around to make an appointment with the doctor this morning as she had to rush out and, well, do nothing) she has to know that she is upsetting others. The two of them had a chat but I don’t think they came to much of a conclusion. The housemate got the tears and attention she was craving and my girlfriend gave it up gladly. This will never end until some people find better ways of dealing with things.

I went to the Jobcentre today and had a chat with them about my job search. I keep telling them that with my eyesight getting worse I’m no longer sure what it is I can do with regards to employment and am concerned about going into an unsuitable work environment for health and safety reasons. They never have anything to say. They’re like robots. They have their little speeches to make and boxes to tick. One day I’ll have an appointment to see a Disability Employment Advisor, but that seems to take forever to arrange. I’m not sure if I’m even on the right benefit, but nobody’s telling me anything different. I need advice from a third party, I think.

I might contact Alcoholics Anonymous as, whilst I haven’t drank since February, it’s a constant struggle to fight temptation. With new stresses and worries coming up I am worried that I might fall off the wagon. Who knows. I shall try and register with the local doctor and try and pre-empt any problems.

I want to record some music but I still need a microphone. I’ve emailed my dad asking him if it’s still at his house but he’s not replied yet.

A friend emailed me to say that him and his wife are having a baby. This news was quite a surprise and reminded me of how careful I need to be in not feeling like I’m trapped. I’m concerned my life is starting to stop moving forward again. I keep taking my tablets but the atmosphere of negativity around here is overwhelming.

I shall just focus on what I enjoy… my music. It always makes me feel positive thinking about it. I hope I can get recording soon, for my own sanity.

This afternoon I am going over to see my girlfriend in work. I might fill out the forms to register at the surgery while I’m there. I find it hard to fill out forms at home. It’s just the wrong environment.

Anyway… onwards!!