Geekology

I was thinking about how not all geeks are the same and can be passive or aggressive depending on which “category” they fall into. I’m not a big fan of labels personally but I thought this would be a fun little exercise in sociological distinctions and definitions.

I’ve subcategorized the list into two sections: Actual Geeks and Fake Geeks in an attempt to address the recent popularity of “geek chic” amongst non-geeks.

Please feel free to add your own suggestions and definitions or call me up on my sweeping generalisations :)

Plus, what type of geek do you think you are?

ACTUAL GEEKS:

Anal Possessive Geek

A very tidy and orderly geek, they like things to be exactly where they want them to be (even when it’s sometimes inconvenient and impractical) and do not like sharing or loaning items out. They most likely still use a pencil case in their 30s and make sure you return their reluctantly borrowed belongings by the end of the day. Academically intelligent but lacking in common sense.

Elite Geek

The real loner and isolated geek who is aggressively antisocial and could in fact be diagnosed as a “sociopath”. They have no desire to like or be liked by others and can even lash out verbally if approached. They can develop delusions of grandeur and generally believe in an intellectual “elite” and consider intelligence to be equal to goodness and superiority.

Harmless Obsessive Outdoor Geek

Train, plane, bus and boat spotters etc. whose predilection for manmade vehicles and machinery outside their homes in public (which requires mingling with crowds) doesn’t always mean that they are particularly sociable. Often dressing for comfort and adverse weather conditions rather than style, they hang around by themselves or in pairs at transport depots or behind airport fencing. This type of geek can also include astronomers and real ale drinkers.

Casual Geek

The term “casual” refers to both their physical stature, clothing and geek shift pattern. Geeky and articulate overall but discerning and very particular about their cult interests. They are generally not academically intelligent but can apply themselves to their chosen field of expertise when it suits them. They are socially awkward in groups but can still be talkative and have mainstream interests and tastes.

FAKE GEEKS:

Classic Nerd Geek Chic

Often seen in the form of office workers or d-list celebrities. Recognisable by their expensive black-rimmed glasses (actual geeks spend their money on computer games and comics, not fashion) and trendy tight-fitting shirts and tank tops that show off their slender and toned physiques (actual geeks are not toned, they sit hunched over computers all night or eat fast food rather than spending time in the gym and eating salads). These are not real geeks and should be discounted from the actual geek community entirely.

Laid Back Slacker Geek Chic

A very geek friendly portion of society but still not to be counted as actual geeks. They are usually very attractive and have nice skin. They can have alternative hobbies like gaming, comics and alt/indie rock but are still far too socially capable and good with talking to girls to be truly defined as actual geeks. They can be recognised by their shaggy haircuts, t-shirts with clever slogans/patterns, sagger jeans, tatty sports shoes and the fact that they are usually in unsuccessful local rock bands. Due to their geek friendly nature they can often be teamed up with to help actual geeks become more sociable and achieve their first sexual experience. See the film “Scott Pilgrim Vs The World” for numerous examples of Laid Back Slacker Geek Chic.

Just a trim, please

I greet you post circumcision and feeling rather delicate and tender.

The operation was very quick and I was home by about 5pm but the recovery process is going to take longer than I’d anticipated. I’ve got a lot of stitches “down there” and a considerable amount of swelling which is very painful. I’m popping painkillers like there’s no tomorrow. I’ve been having to sleep downstairs on the sofa a lot as I’ve not felt particularly comfortable in bed… plus there’s a danger of my girlfriend rolling over in her sleep and opening up a wound and causing me lots of damage. Ouch.

So what have I been up to since the surgery? Not much. I think for the first few days I was suffering with post op depression, if there is such a thing, but I think I’m finally coming out of it and feeling a lot better. I’m still having to move around the house slowly and concentrate on my every move in an attempt not to put too much pressure on my crotch.

Nice.

Well before the surgery on Monday I was doing very well with my newly organised lifestyle. I was exercising and writing and sorting out my personal admin. But this week I’ve just been left with no desire to do any of it. I’ve gotten a bit of writing done, which is good, but I just don’t want to risk dealing with anything that might bring injury… and I know all too well that with paperwork comes paper cuts. Eek!!

Since sitting in comfortable seats seems to make the pain worse I’ve moved my laptop onto the dinner table, so I spend my time either sat upright here on the internet or lying in bed bewailing and bemoaning my situation and trying to sleep.

My girlfriend hasn’t been much help and has been acting up a lot saying she’s been tired ever since she took me to the hospital and other strange excuses for being mardy and lumbering around the house getting in the way. I’ve actually preferred it when she’s been at work so I can not worry about bumping into things she leaves lying about but I have felt quite lonely here and there so I’ve enjoyed her company in the evening and on her days off.

I must sound horrible, but I’ve just felt so grumpy since Monday.

Apparently I’m not allowed any sexual activity (including masturbation) for six weeks… SIX WEEKS!!! The first time I heard that I almost fainted, but seeing how slowly the swelling seems to be going down I think I’ll be lucky if it’s safe to do anything before seven weeks. We shall see.

The worst part is when I get erections in my sleep I wake up bleeding and in a great deal of pain. I can’t really do anything about sex dreams so I just have to pop some painkillers in my mouth if I wake up with a hard-on. Sods law I’ve been having a lot of sex dreams this week. Bloody typical!! :)

I hope this is all worth it.

A cut above the rest

Well I’m back home for the summer holidays at last. Those last two weeks of college weren’t easy… although the booze helped. I’ve decided to go back for the final two months of my course if only to finish off the peripheral subjects I’m doing. In the last week before I came back I had no music lessons and was thoroughly relieved.

I’ve drawn up a timetable of things to do while I’m off in order to keep me busy. It’s stuff I would have done anyway but this way it keeps me focused and will make sure I don’t spend more time than necessary on the internet. I’ve included writing sessions, exercise, personal admin time and housework. I’m curious to see if I’ll stick to it.

I went for my pre-op assessment yesterday to make sure I was fit and ready for my circumcision. Apparently the actual operation won’t be for another six to eight weeks so I’ve got plenty of time to get really unhealthy and catch stuff… d’oh!! It wasn’t nice going by myself and I never enjoy being prodded and poked for three hours. I always walk away from hospital check-ups feeling somewhat abused. The staff were very nice though and there was enough little tests and things to get on with that I didn’t really have the chance to get bored. I’m glad my girlfriend wasn’t there with me as she’d have been making jokes and teasing me about why I was there. She’s not great with satire and sometimes just comes across as being rude or nasty.

We’re in the midst of a heatwave and I’m not enjoying it at all. There’s barely any air movement at all. Apparently it’s supposed to rain today but I’ll believe it when I see it. I’m meant to go for a walk into town today but if it does start heaving with precipitation then I’ll have to think of something else.

I built the outside run for the pets yesterday evening and sat outside with them for a couple of hours. They seemed to enjoy it. It’s funny to note that indoors the rabbit is the more inquisitive one and braver whilst the guinea pig tends to follower her and/or hide in a corner whereas outside their roles are reversed and it’s the rabbit that seems a bit nervous and on edge. Bless. I’ll try and take them out again today if it’s cool enough.

While I’m off I’m going to try and stay away from bread as I think that’s what puts a lot of my weight on. Shame really as I love sandwiches and yummy buttery toast. They’re my kryptonite I guess. We shall see how long it lasts. I’m getting withdrawal symptoms already!! Eek!!

Peace out.