Friendship or bust

Just a quick follow-up to my last post. That guy I was going to spend yesterday around town with never ended up messaging me, so I spent the day home alone. He didn’t promise we’d be doing anything, mind you, but I could have done with a simple “yes” or “no” on the day, just to confirm. Never mind, I was woefully underslept anyway, so wasn’t really in the mood to go out. On the plus side, I did manage to stay awake all day, which meant I had a good sleep last night. I don’t think the guy did it on purpose. He’s very busy and a notable scatterbrain, so I’m not angry. Just, I dunno, me. When you’re a bit of a shut-in, you tend to blow these things out of proportion.

Speaking of blowing things out of proportion, I went back to a pub I hadn’t been to since shutting down my old Twitter account. The manager was vaguely connected to what happened (in that my going to their pub was a slight on my character) so I felt like avoiding theirs and most pubs in town for a while. This has now been extended indefinitely. For some reason, I was expecting a welcome back “hello” or something, but the manager just ignored me, even though they were on duty. From my experience, they can run pretty hot and cold anyway, but this seemed different. I doubt I’ll ever go back, or even go into town much in general, again. I tried my best to connect with the larger city community, but that got thrown back in my face. I’m done with this place. Those people just made a very vulnerable person even more isolated and afraid, all in the name of something extremely petty (a restaurant menu, believe it or not). I hope they're proud of their shallow self-righteousness. I'm guessing they are.

Well, to lighten things up a little, I’m feeling full of energy and in high spirits today. I still don’t feel quite with it, but I shall be speaking to my doctor about that this coming Monday. Over the weekend, I was really struggling just to do basic things, but I think that that was to do with all the painkillers I was taking last week. Them ibuprofens ain’t easy to come off. Initially, I thought my health had dropped another big step, so I was majorly freaking out (you may have noticed), but I think it was just the medication comedown.

I just went to the shop for an electricity meter top-up, which felt good. I find it best to get up early if I’m doing something locally. Most of the crazies and drug addicts are still in bed with the dts before lunchtime (this usually includes me). It felt good to get some exercise. Actually, I totally forgot my top-up once I got to the shops and started heading back with just a bag full of snacks, so I had to go to the cornershop around the… erm… corner. While where I live is pretty rough, a few hundred yards around the bend is like Beirut. I survived though. No drama.

I currently have no plans, either personal or social, so I’m just chugging along day-by-day. Perhaps I should make some. I’m living in a semi-fantasy world at the moment where I’ve won the lottery, which probably isn’t very healthy. I generally imagine where I’d move to, the house I’d buy and how I’d settle in, rather than all the cool shit I’d buy. It’s getting so detailed that I’m thinking of turning it into a story. An LGBT romance, perhaps. Yeah, I’ll start working on that and maybe plan an actual getaway. But until then, no, the horizon is pretty flat.

You are welcome to help me change that.

Anyway, I best be off.

Do stay in touch.

Toodles!