Playing the fool (in the game of life)

Well, well, well, here we are again. The weather is still rather horrid, with high winds and horizontal rain battering the building as I type. It doesn’t help one’s mood, I must say. Speaking of mood, that’s not been great this week either. My new medication is supposed to combat this, but I’ve been feeling rather rejected and hopeless since my trip to the pub on Wednesday. I know booze doesn’t help but, as you may have noticed from my ad hoc “An alien” post, I felt like I’d failed to connect with people yet again. I may go back to a more anonymous drinking establishment, who knows. I feel so much for people, despite my outward misanthropy, and yet I just can’t seem to express it. Or am too afraid to. Why? Maybe it’s my rather reserved upbringing. Or just my mental health issues. I did give my gaming handle to someone, in case they might want to add me as a friend. They haven’t. I guess they could be busy or blah blah blah, or maybe I should just take the hint. That guy I like ended up taking another bloke home with him from the pub. For a friendly hangout, I assume, but still… I wish that kind of thing would happen to me. That’s my simple dream – to sit and watch some bad movies with a friend and get drunk together. It seems such an impossible thing to achieve. Everyone but me are pairing off together. Sigh.

Anyway, my two medical appointments didn’t pan out this week. The first I rearranged because the weather was so bad, the second my doctor cancelled because he couldn’t get to work due to snow. I’m guessing he lives somewhere nice out in the country, as Sheffield seemed snow-free. I think it did try to snow one day, but it didn’t stick.

I ended up having to walk down to the pub the other day, as part of the route down there was closed off for some reason. My bus service seemed to be cancelled altogether. There was a simple way of going around the obstruction, but I don’t think they were even trying. Oh well, at least I got some exercise. I’d do that more, but the weather does tend to sap one’s enthusiasm. I think I may feel well enough now to start using my exercise bike again, so maybe I’ll start later on today, or do it tomorrow morning. We shall see.

I re-watched that Shock Treatment film on Tuesday, only this time with the audio commentary track by Nell Campbell and Patricia Quinn on. What a delightful pair of old lushes! They’re SO catty! Listening to them rambling on is the most fun you can ever have. Patty Quinn is not quite on this planet, unless she was having a few glasses of wine as they chatted. She was just as bizarre during the mid-90s Rocky Horror commentary recording that she did with Dicky O’Brien. That one’s on the DVD. I’ve been listening to the Shock Treatment soundtrack all week. I highly recommend: “Denton USA”, “Bitchin’ in the Kitchen”, “Little Black Dress”, “Shock Treatment”, “Breaking Out” and “Anyhow, Anyhow”. “Breaking Out” is a great moment in the movie itself. I don’t know why, but the tight medium shot of Oscar Drill as he sings it is so powerful. I was totally rivetted the first time I saw it. I may have to add “Breaking Out” to my Good Songs playlist on Spotify. Here's that scene:



I haven’t watched much else new, as I’ve mostly been indulging in safe, familiar stuff. Hopefully I’ll be brave and branch out this week. I certainly have plenty of new stuff to be getting on with. I did start watching that Good Omens series, which I was really enjoying. I’ve just not gotten around to continuing it yet. I’ll add it to the list!

I’m wondering whether to treat myself to a takeaway tonight, but I feel so bad making delivery people come out in this weather. I almost talked myself into going out to the pub again today but, alas, this weather has put me off. It looks and sounds pretty brutal out there. Apparently the storm has been named: “Clara”. So now you know.

What else? Hmmm, I guess my sex-drive has been pretty low the past few weeks. Maybe that’s medication related. I’ve masturbated nearly every day, but I’ve kinda had to remind myself to do it. I tend to fire-up some porn, rather begrudgingly, in the hope that something will interest me. Mostly I’ve gotten there in the end, but it’s been a pretty mechanical process. I could do with some real passion in my life. A big fat cock to suck would be nice. Nom, nom, nom!

Oh, I just found out Green Day have a new album out, called Father of All Motherfuckers. I just listened to it about an hour ago. It was pretty forgettable, like Revolution Radio. Shame, as I’ve loved all their stuff from American Idiot to the Uno! Dos! Tre! trilogy. I guess you can’t keep going forever. They can’t need the money anymore, so I admire that they’re probably still working simply because they enjoy it. That’s a comforting thought.

I was quite proud that I managed to complete Downwell the other week. I’ve been playing it for years, but have only just managed to defeat the big boss. I almost didn’t finish that session actually, as it was just before I went out to the pub last Saturday. As I went through each level I was all like “Shall I keep going? I really need to leave the house!”, but I stuck with it and, miraculously , actually got to the end. I was so stunned. Here’s the video of my extraordinary victory:



Speaking of video games, my gaming buddy has said they’ll be offline indefinitely from now on, so I’m guessing that’s another friendship coming to a conclusion. I’m really stacking them up, aren’t I? Well, it’s not the most shocking turn of events ever. As I’ve said in the past – I’m used to having to move on. Maybe they’ll make a comeback someday, but I’ll gracefully accept their departure in the meantime.

Right, I best go experience life so I have more to write about. I hope you’re all staying dry, darlings.

Do stay in touch!

Toodles!