A midnight pond of zombies

 Well, I’m still here, although I’m not sure where else I should be. I’ve not felt like writing a post in a while, but who knows why. I suppose my video game streams have turned into a sort of vlog/podcast of late. I discuss stuff that’s probably way too personal for a stream, but it’s not like anyone actually tunes in.

You maybe unsurprised to learn that not a great deal has happened since September. Christmas was blah, and I think I passed out drunk before midnight on New Year’s Eve, so that was that. I haven’t actually drank in just over a month now, as I started to get really bored of the routine of getting drunk alone. I didn’t see that one coming. Anyway, I’ve starting to feel the urge again over the last few days, which is maybe why I thought I’d best fire up the old blog. You know, to try and sift through some feelings.

My old gaming buddy has kept his promise of spending more time with me, which has surprised me. I genuinely thought he was gone for good. I even stopped replying to his correspondence, in any form. I just needed closure. He ended up sending me a very heartfelt message, which I just couldn’t ignore. I was very honest, even down to saying I didn’t want him to feel forced to talk to me out of some sense of duty. Anyway, we’ve spoken regularly since, so that’s cool. I’ve not had a friend before or since my ex that I’ve spoken to so intensely for this long, so it was very sad feeling like that had ended. He’s now in an official relationship with a girl, which has apparently tipped over into the physical, so there goes my hope that he was gay. I’m still holding out, as all the signs are there. But, hey, even if he is, there’s no guarantee he’d like me in that way.

I started recording music again. I’ve not even entertained the notion of singing this time, as I kind of embarrassed myself last time. These will just be instrumentals. Short and snappy ones. I’ve posted two already, which you can find here: soundcloud.com/pondzombies

They’re a little rough around the edges, but it’s kept me busy. I forgot how stressful recording was. But it’s good stress. You know?

Oh, I’ve started separate Twitter feeds to promote both my musical and gaming outputs. They are @pondzombies and @midnightsarnie respectively, should you fancy saying “hello”. I had to turn the comments off this blog, as I was getting a fair amount of spam all of a sudden. I’m not getting into the social aspect of Twitter this time around, as that ended in disaster after ten years, although I will reply to people, of course. I just don’t want to hinge my social life on it, as that part of the internet died a while ago.

I’ve started watching The Larry Sanders Show, after I felt I needed more Jeffrey Tambor after getting into Arrested Development. I now see him as the genius he is. His dry wit should be rewarded with him being made an honorary Brit. I’m only a few episodes into Larry Sanders, but I’m hooked already. It’s interesting how this show and Parks & Recreation used the same cinematographer that shot This is Spinal Tap. They obviously felt they needed someone experienced with the mockumentary genre. I think he became the “go to guy” for that kind of thing.

I’ve got my vaccination next week, which I’m not looking forward to. Apart from the pain of the injection itself, it’s at a surgery that I’m not familiar with, so I’ll need to take a taxi there. I’ll have to make it clear to the driver that I have no idea where this place is, as they often ask you to help out with directions. It’s not like London, where you have to have “The Knowledge” to get your taxi license (although that may be an urban legend, I’m not sure). They get lost driving two streets over around here. Sigh.

My ex also warned me that I could be getting a letter in the post about having to shield, although she says a lot of things. She used to work in council housing, and still regularly reminds me that they’re planning to knock my building down, so I’ll have to move. I’ve asked her to stop telling me this, as it’s quite upsetting. I’ve yet to be told anything about it, but she still reminds me whenever she’s forgotten she’s already told me, like, a hundred times. Plus she hasn’t worked in housing in years, so I doubt she’s privy to updates. So, yes, I’ll hold fire until I actually see a letter. If she keeps bringing it up, I’ll ask her to back off a bit. Then she’ll forget and start telling me again, but whatevs.

Sod’s law I get a letter in the post tomorrow telling me I’m being evicted. Nothing would surprise me.

Hmmm, what else?

Oh, that woman I went for a walk with almost a year ago has now started doing deliveries for the local brewery she works for. I was kinda hoping there might be something between us, but she didn’t really respond to my texts after that one walk. I don’t want to pester anyone, so I decided to leave it. Well, she’s been to my home a couple of times now to deliver beer but, apart from a polite catch-up in the stairwell, she hasn’t shown much interest. I best go back to the drawing board. Finding love wasn’t easy for when we WERE allowed outside the house. Now, well, it’s something I’ve lost all hope about.

Well, this has been quite cathartic, so I’ll hopefully post updates more frequently. I’ve needed someone to talk to.

I hope you all have a nice weekend.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!