Zen and the Art of Sitting Around

 I’ve just got my letter about shielding. It’s all very vague and unhelpful. It sounds like I carry on as usual, but I might be able to get priority grocery and free prescription deliveries. The government are using too many wishy-washy phrases like “advised to”, “try to” and “where possible”, which has the effect of making things sound less severe than they really are. Apparently my supermarket is going to contact me, so maybe I should switch the ringer on my landline on. It doesn’t matter, I’ve been able to get slots anyway. For some reason, there’s always a bunch of openings posted around 7 and 8 pm every day (for the following day). I’m not sure whether that’s when they get confirmation of more casual delivery staff, or customers just tend to cancel their orders around that time. Who knows. Anyway, I’ll keep my shielding letter close at hand, just in case. I won’t tell anyone I know (unless I deem it necessary), as people seem to like to have opinions about all this and try to tell you what’s what, even when they don’t actually know anything. I’m finding it’s best to just read the government’s website and steer clear of news sources and social media.

I woke up at 1 pm this afternoon, which I hope isn’t a trend. I’ve got my vaccination appointment next week, so I could really do with a healthy sleep pattern. Maybe it’s just a blip. I’ve been good for a few weeks. My gaming buddy was messaging me around midnight, which didn’t help. Apparently there’s been some touching between him and his new gf, but he wasn’t fussed about being satisfied himself. I wonder if that means something. I’m quite passive, sexually, so am always happy just to be there for the other person. I’m always aware that I can have a wank in private at any time, so being with someone is more about the intimacy, for me. I love a good cuddle.

While the snow is gone, the weather is still rather drab. It’s very windy today, but that’s ok. I prefer colder weather, although the recent snow seemed endless. I think it only lasted a week, but it felt like longer. It’s the only time of year we’re all grateful for some rain. I only went out during it once, to take my rubbish down to the wheelie bins. It was event free.

I really miss the pub. Not just the beer, but standing at the bar talking to a bunch of racist alcoholics and trying hard not to wince in agony at some of their awful opinions. Bless. Who knows, maybe I’ll be back in there by the height of summer, but the letter I got today isn’t filling me with confidence. I think If you’d told me last March that this would all still be going on in a year’s time, I would have burst into tears.

I made an impromptu curry last night, which was very nice. I wanted it to be a meat one, but I had no fresh stuff, so I used a tin of chicken in white sauce, which worked really well. I’ve got loads leftover, but I’m going to have to eat it all today, as I don’t think freezing and reheating meat that’s been cooked twice already is particularly recommended. I’ll have it just with poppadoms, rather than with rice. I’ve found both is too much for me. Last night I had it with brown rice, which went down nicely.

I’ve been watching Wes Anderson films this week. I’ve needed some comfort viewing, and these work perfectly. I’m on The Life Aquatic today. I might do The Darjeeling Limited later. I’ve not been into movie watching much lately, which is a phase I often go through. I’ve mostly just been indulging in old sitcoms or gaming. I should probably flip through my five DVD carry cases and pick out discs at random and watch them. Just to have something to do.

I’m still tempted to get some booze in, if only to remind myself why I’ve not drank in over a month. What terrible logic, right? Yeah, I think that’s part of being an addict. It’ll kill some time though, and take me out of this tedious flat. Mentally speaking, of course. Sigh.

A mutual friend of my ex has been back in touch today. She’s a very sweet tomboy lesbian, who I’d totally have a crush on if she weren’t gay. My brain seems to stop me even going there, which helps. I don’t know why I always fall for lesbians. Talk about being self-defeating! Oh well, I’m glad I’m bisexual, even though there's a lot of biphobia from both straight and gay people. I couldn’t imagine having that dividing line between the sexes. I just love everyone!

Right, on that amorous note, I think I’ll go heat up that curry. It’ll probably take about an hour on a low light. Yes, there’s really that much left.

Anyway, do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!