I do wonder if I will ever be able to live with my girlfriend again. We are so far apart and the logistics are so complicated. My heart breaks every second we are not together but I know we are strong enough to come through this in one piece.
I just hope she does too.
Once my house sells and I can settle my financial worries then I can afford to see her more. At the moment my house is still on the verge of selling and has been since about August/September time. Every week there's a new promise of an exchange date but then nothing.
This sale is tearing me apart and destroying my personal life. People keep asking me what my next step is but I can't seem to feel anything right now, I just want my house to be behind me. I'm not even sure it'll be mine by the time it sells, it'll probably be re-possessed.
I cancelled my direct debits for utility bills months ago as I've not lived there since December 2008.... which I know wasn't clever but I have to prioritise and what's most important is the mortgage payments and council tax. Will they be hunting for blood? I will settle things once I've sold, but for now they will have to wait.
I'm too afraid to check my bank balance or to open lettters. I want to be free of this mess and start again without all this chaos and confusion.
I want to be with my girlfriend and hold her forever. Neither of us wants to settle for an ordinary life and we are both fed up with how things are. My self esteme is low due to the mess I have made for myself and she is fed up with where she works and where she lives.
Will we ever be set free from this prison of lethargy?
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