Just wondering if a calm loss of hope is falling over me. Like all the lights are finally being switched off. There’s no great furore, no cries of sadness, just a quiet resignation that this is the state of things.
I can’t feel any happy future because I don’t think this will ever end. It is such a madness at the heart of the matter.
But I don’t feel panicky or anxious, just tired and lethargic. I just want to shut my eyes and recoil into my mind, hide there while everything falls into the sea. Wash away.
Or maybe it’s just the anti-depressants messing with the chemicals in my brain, playing around with levels. I do feel strange, like something is buzzing inside me, something faintly electric pushing my head. Who knows.
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I must say, sticking to wine and beer is giving my alcoholism a fine longevity indeed! I’d usually be questioning every decision I’ve ever m...
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I can’t tell you how great it is to have the temperature drop like it has. Well, I can: it’s really great! Sitting still and not sweating ...
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I am pleased to report that I am in a better and calmer mood today. I believe I may have achieved a satisfying night of sleep, even though i...
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