Little Miss Negativity

I’d like to say that my mood has improved since I’ve been home this week but, alas, it has remained in descent. My mission here has been to look after my girlfriend as she comes off her antidepressants and part of the brief was to cope with her mood swings, periods of despair, negativity and outbursts of temper. It’s not been fun. She was awake at 2am last night crying and I had to try to comfort her. When you suffer from depression too it’s hard to be positive and bring someone else out of it. I’m managing though… I think. I enjoy these pockets of quiet when I can collect my thoughts and regroup my strength for when the battle starts up again. I only hope this is the final wave of the comedown and not how she will always be without the tablets… I’ve only known her whilst she’s been on medication.

We’re meeting up with friends tomorrow and doing some things together next week so I hope that that will brighten her up a bit. She needs to get away and look at her life from a different perspective. Hopefully she’ll realise that things aren’t quite as bad as she thinks. Who knows.

I’ve not felt much inspired by other things this week. I looked around a music shop and started getting interested in the recording and mixing equipment. There was a small-ish mixing desk for about £400 in the shop window and, as I looked at it, there was a familiarity to the set-up which proves that I’m learning something at college.

I’m still not looking forward to going back to college but then again being cooped up here with Little Miss Negativity is bringing me down quite dramatically. At least college will feel less claustrophobic and be the lesser of two evils.

Sigh.