Late winter/early mornings

Remember when I said the weather had officially turned nice? Well, it snowed yesterday, and we’re now in the minus figures, temperature-wise. Go figure. Maybe the change in human activity over the past year has affected the climate somehow. Although, I do remember it snowing as late as this fifteen-odd years ago, so there’s precedent there. Still, it’s bloody cold. At least it keeps the local scallies indoors, which is a massive plus. That annoying tit, who I mentioned in my last post, who sits out on his balcony playing loud music and shouting to his mates down the street, has officially decamped into his hole. In Britain, you kinda have to decide which you’re prepared to put up with: cold weather, or chavs making noise. Sigh.

I think I’ve just about managed to get my sleep pattern back on track. I was able to sleep until 3 am yesterday morning, then I had a nap at midday, then stayed in bed from around 8 pm to 6 am this morning. A disturbed sleep pattern doesn’t affect my life a whole lot, but it does have a negative psychological effect on me. I start to lose track of what medication I’ve had and which meals are due, plus I get generally disorientated and, well, sad. Oh well, hopefully I’m back now. I have let my writing slip over the past few days but, fingers crossed, I’ll get some done today. I seem to be on a roll with my new fiction project, so I don’t want to leave that for too long.

I’m still wondering whether I’m unwell, as odd little symptoms keep appearing. A rather unpredictable digestive system has been one, but I shan’t get into any great detail about that. In a way, I just want whatever-it-is to reveal itself so I can get properly sick and then better. This lingering semi-uncertainty over my health isn’t much fun. It’s probably all related to something I have already, as the diabetes lowers my immune system. Nothing would surprise me. It’s not bothering me that much though.

I’m getting a lot of history audiobook reading done. I’m still going through my second listen of Kenneth J. Hammond’s History of China lectures, and I’m nearly getting to the end of my first listen of a, pretty-epic, history of ancient Mediterranean civilisations. I think I’ve been dipping in and out of the latter for a good few years. I’ll just restart it, once I’m done. I’ve got a couple of new ones on Spain and Japan that I need to restart. I got a chapter or two into both, then just stopped. I’m not sure why.

I’ve been buying up a bunch of world cinema boxsets recently, as I’m still not keen on English language films. Yesterday, a Federico Fellini collection arrived, plus Satyajit Ray’s “Apu Trilogy”. The latter has been out of print for a while, I believe due to the negatives being destroyed in a fire in the mid-90s, or something. I haven’t properly looked into it. Anyway, I’ll do my usual watching-without-subtitles and report back. I don’t know why I enjoy doing that. I guess it makes me feel relaxed. It’s like being a baby again, where you can see and hear people talking, but you can’t quite understand what’s actually being said. Or, on the same analogical line, being back in the womb, where you can only discern mumbles form the outside world. Does that work? Hmmm. Anyway, I’ve added a few more to my browser’s favourites bar, so I might put another order in soon.

Musically, I’m mainly listening to instrumental stuff, although I’m finding Muse is a good wake-up tool, along with my usual cups of coffee. I still can’t work out whether Matt Bellamy’s lyrics are supposed to be serious or not, as they’re pretty on-the-nose. Still, there’s some nice liberal philosophy/politics in there, if you do want to try taking it seriously. I still wonder whether their first five albums contain the progressive acts of a story arc about the descent of human civilisation, the destruction of Earth, humanity’s leap to the stars for a new home, and their eventual struggle for survival and power once they get there. Who knows. Answer’s on a postcard, please! I’m willing to write the screenplay, if they wanna adapt it into a movie.

I’m still off my guitar playing and music production, although that has more to do with the tidiness of my living room than anything. I’ve just completely let housework fall by the wayside. I do have a music-making buzz inside me though, so I should probably get cleaning. Just basic tidying will do.

My old work colleague and “guitar Yoda” did follow my YouTube channel and posted a comment on one of my videos the other week, but he’s not said anything else since. That kinda got me down. I was hoping, maybe, that we’d get back in touch and, perhaps, start talking music like we used to. But no. Maybe he was drunk or something, and doesn’t even remember posting. That’d make sense.

Speaking of which, I’ve still not had a drink since late-February. My disturbed sleep pattern did nearly break me, but I think I’ve passed that. I’m curious to see what I’ll do once the pubs are open. Will I continue this sober existence, or go back to drowning myself in nihilistic despair? We shall see.

I’ve not replied to my gaming buddy’s last few texts, so I think he may have given up. It’s a bit harsh of me I know, but his hot-and-cold attitude to our friendship has been getting me down. Plus, hey, his new relationship seems serious, which takes up a lot of a person’s time. I just need some closure.

I’m getting a lot of friend requests on the PlayStation this week. I was getting CLOSE friend requests (where your full name is revealed) from complete strangers, which I assume was some ID theft sorta thing, but these are just regular requests. They seem legit, but they usually already have tens, if not hundreds, of friends listed in their profile already, so I doubt we’ll ever actually socialise. I keep monitoring game chats to see if anyone wants to talk but, alas, it’s usually just silent people with their mics on and their TVs on in the background. They really need to switch one of those off but, hey, that’s addressing a larger issue about human ignorance.

I did have a phone chat with my ex yesterday, which was nice. She seems very upbeat. She usually has a major melodrama around my birthday, so I’ll have that to look forward to next month. I’ll probably ask our mutual friend to field any issues while I’m “partying”. I can’t do emotions when I’m hungover. I’ve got too many of my own to be dealing with.

And, yes, I’ll probably get wellied on my birthday, whether the pubs are open or not.

I’m still off watching DVDs in bed at the moment. I did restart the old Robin Hood series from, like, the 60s, but I only got a couple of episodes in. I’m fine with just audiobooks or music for now.

Urgh, my OCD is getting clogged with obsessing over comma placement. I’m never sure whether to overdo it or underdo it. I should read more ebooks, to get an idea of what other people generally do. “Do do”? Oh, I dunno. I’m far too emotionally fragile for the writing game. I guess grammar and punctuation is where editors come in. I should just chill out and get working. “Chilout”? “Chill-out”? Ack! See?!

Right, I’m due a shower, so I best get going. I’m still having a few coffees before I scrub myself down each day, which has been helping me get out of bed. I’m hoping to get back to my new-ish shower-first rule, but I’m trying not to stress over it. TRYING not to.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

P.S. I nearly called this post "Minus Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon", as that sounded more fun (plus I really believe that he, Nicolas Cage and Keanu Reeves were put on this Earth simply for our own wry amusement. I'm sure they're all lovely guys. It genuinely seems that way). Although it did seem a little too apropos of nothing. I'm still willing to change it, if you want. Let me know.