Until the next time...

I think my cyclothymia has laid out new personality rules for me. Perhaps that’s why I felt so unwell on Saturday. The changeovers do now seem to be preceded by a vague malady, so I’ll try to keep an eye out for that in future. So, basically, I’ve been trying to get used to a new me over the past few days. Aided by a massive booze-binge, of course.

I just got so fed up of feeling weird.

And I felt REALLY WEIRD.

Well, I’ve shrugged off the hangover but still feeling off. I’m finding myself more inclined to playing guitar, but less inclined to write. Which figures. I have a third chapter of that new story ready for proof reading, it’s just finding the botheration to do it.

I might try recording some music later, once I hopefully feel about ten percent better. I’ve started browsing guitars to buy, which is usually a strong sign that I’m back in the music “game”. I won’t buy though. I’m just window-shopping.

My lesbo friend finally replied to my recent texts last night. She’d been quiet for about a fortnight, so I was starting to worry that she too was phasing me out of her life. You know, like all the others. But, after finally breaking her silence and a very short, non-committed response from me, she decided to actually call me while she was on her way home, which was nice. Maybe she sensed that I was feeling a little down and unsure. Anyway, I suggested we meet for lunch, so she’s going to text me when she’s next free. I did suggest going somewhere for lunch but, I dunno, maybe I should just invite her over here, now that I have new furniture and the place is moderately presentable.

I’ll have a think.

I’m so insecure at the moment, but I guess that’ll be due to coming off my antidepressants.

In bed, I’m mostly listening to old episodes of that Blurry Photos podcast. I find the two Daves a very comforting presence. Well, that is, until one of them regularly starts to lose his biased approach and begins ranting and raving (it's funny when it happens the first time, but starts getting weird after awhile). That’s a good point to call it a day with the show in general, I think. Even though the other Dave seemingly decided to quit because he moved away with his new wife (so the face-to-face dynamic of the podcast couldn’t be maintained), the growing intensity of the recording sessions probably got too much for him. He did seem to originally be doing it for fun. The Dave remaining seems to have twisted into one of the new breed of scary social media intolerant. Perhaps he was always like that, but his podcast partner reigned him in.

I can’t be done with the bile-spitting, red-faced rhetoric of modern armchair politicians, which is why I’ve whittled my social media presence down to a minimum.

And I’m not even comfortable with THAT.

Everybody’s accusing everybody else of everything nowadays. It’s like the Salem Witch Trials all over again which, ironically, Blurry Photos did do an episode on. I foresee that our right-wing government will go back to forcing people to attend church regularly, even having those medieval bouncers coming out to find and drag you into a service if you don’t show up.

Just cool it, people. If things are making you THAT angry, just switch off your devices and read a book. Preferably a Garfield or something.

I still need to go out to post that prescription and pick up energy meter top-ups, but I’ve been procrastinating, as usual. I’ll probably wake up tomorrow with the power out. If I’m lucky.

I’ll check the balance after I’ve done this.

My tastebuds seem to have gone haywire again too. I’m not sure what I’m in the mood for today. Maybe I’ll go through the local takeaways and see what inspires me. I don’t think anything in the flat will tickle my fancy. All I’ve managed today is a bowl of uncooked porridge oats and soya milk, which I don’t have antacid tablets for. Bah! I need to buy some in asap.

The weather doesn’t seem to know what it’s doing. It’s gloomy and raining today, but still not that cold for an October. I guess the days will be shortening soon. Sigh. Back to my 4 pm curfew±! Damn nyctalopia.

Right, I best go scrub up, just in case I do need to head out.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!