Signs of life

I’ve been really itchy and suffering dry skin over my whole body for a few months now, to the point where I’ve been worried that I’ve somehow brought fleas into my home. I initially suspected that it might have been carried over from my ex’s house, as my stuff was stored in their front room where they keep their rodents. Then I started to worry that I wasn’t looking after my home properly, which still could be the case. I’ve been spraying flea spray in key areas (bed and sofa) and have even been wondering whether I’ve somehow contracted an STD (I’ve not had a guy over in a couple of years). Basically, I’ve felt a bit dirty and embarrassed. This is another reason why I went swimming yesterday, as I wanted to immerse my whole body in chlorine for an hour, just to see if that worked.

It’s ok, I get by on my looks.

Well, I just had a revelation in bed this morning – what if I’m allergic to something?! Bingo! So, what is it that comes into contact with my whole body every day that might cause itching and dry skin? Well, I changed to non-bio laundry detergent this week, which still doesn’t seem to have worked. Then it came to me – my shower gel! I started using Dove shower cream relatively recently, which I like because you really feel it all over your body and it takes ages to wash off. The latter should be a downside, but I’ve actually come to like the ritual. But, hey, if it’s making me have this reaction and affecting my mood by making me feel unclean, then it’s gotta go!

Luckily, I had some bars of soap leftover from my pre-Dove days, so I’ve yanked myself out of bed way early and had a shower with one of those. Think I’ll put my towels in the wash too, as they might have soaked up some of the Dove, especially my shower towel. I’m also half tempted to wash my bedsheets again (I only did them the other day), just in case. If this doesn’t work, then I’ll call the council and get them to send a pest person out. I’ll also ring the hospital today to get myself check out too.

You never know.

I can't stress enough how thorough I am usually when it comes to my personal hygiene. I shower daily, sometimes twice, I'm always washing my hands and change and wash my clothes regularly. It's just my housework that tends to fall by the wayside due to my mental health.

Anyway, just thought I’d share, as this has been getting me down lately.

Toodles!

Swimming with larks

So I went swimming today, which was pretty awesome. I’ve been thinking about going again for a while, but every time I’m in the right headspace e.g. I’ve slept properly and am not hungover, it’s usually school holidays, and I’ve got it into my head that the pools will be full of noisy families when the schools are closed. That may not be the case, but it’s a general rule I go by to only go during term time. I went to the baths closest to me (on the same road as the guitar shop I regularly frequent), which is in a very nice old building and has changing cubicles around the pool. I used to use the cubicles when I went there years go, but I wanted to have a locker this time, so I went in the communal changing/shower room. I was feeling anxious all morning before I went, as I kept thinking there’d be something that would get in my path (not literally) to stop me going and deprive me of all the floaty goodness. But nothing did, and I had a fabulous time. Well, I did have a little problem with using the locker (the first one I picked was, of course, broken), but there were some lovely old dudes in there that helped me. One guy kept advising me to use the cubicles around the pool, but they aren’t secure, so I kept having to tell him: “No, I want a locker!”, which he didn’t seem to understand. I had my house keys and a £500 smartphone on me. I want a freakin’ locker.

Swimming is my most favourite thing ever, and it always upsets me when I get out of the habit of going. Usually that’s because I get stressed with how busy the pool gets, and when there’s a person in there who thinks the pool is there just for them and keeps knocking me, but today seemed fine. What work well was doing a couple of laps, then stopping for a rest for a few minutes. Just floating there, spacing out, seemed to keep me calm so, yeah, I hope I can keep it up.

Another reason I wanted to go (other than just for enjoyment) was because I keep getting joint/ligament pains in my left shoulder. I don’t think it’s a prelude to a heart attack or anything (as far as I know), but it’s pretty nasty, so I thought swimming, which is just all round good exercise for your whole body, might save me a trip to the doctor.

In other news, The Lion King has just arrived on DVD, so that’s me set for my mini-marathon of Disney films next Thursday. Was worried it wouldn’t get here in time, but they obviously found a spare copy for me knocking about in the Amazon warehouse. Need to get some drinks in too for afterwards.

Think that’s all I have to say for today. Not much else has happened. Well, I have had a good night’s sleep the last couple of days, but I don’t want to jinx it by saying it’ll continue. I’m enjoying watching Family Guy before I turn the lights off, so I recommend watching something silly in bed to any clinically depressed folk like myself. It tends to help me end the day on a happily irreverent note.

Right, toodles!

Drinks, deliveries and dad rock

Yay! My Family Guy boxset has arrived! It’s basically two large TV series cases in a fancy cardboard box, so I threw that out. So, yeah, that’s my bedtime viewing sorted for a while. As mentioned previously, I’m hoping that its similar absurdist humour style to Arrested Development will help me settle at night.

I’ve also received one out of four of the 90s Disney revival movies I’m going to watch in a casual marathon next Thursday. Think it’s just The Lion King I’m waiting for now. We is gonna have a party that night, I tell ya! Y’all are welcome.

I went out to the pub yesterday due to the lovely weather. Oddly enough though, I didn’t end up sitting outside. Oh well, it was a nice stroll down there, so at least I got some fresh air and exercise. And spoke to other humans. I mainly stuck to pale ales, drink-wise, in particular a hearty one called “Thunder Bridge”, but finished the day on a sweet stout, of which I also took a half-gallon jug home with me. There’s none left.

Considering I woke up feeling really morbid, I actually had a really fun time yesterday. From going out to the pub and talking to people, to gaming in the evening. I'm glad I managed to turn that frown upside down. Maybe it was the nice weather. Who knows.

Oh yeah, before I went out, I finally set my effects pedal signal chain back up for my electric guitar playing. I took it all down initially to do some recording (it’s best not to have any unnecessary electronics between your instrument and amplifier for the mic to pic up), but a couple of days later fell into a lethargic low mood slump, which has lasted weeks. The lounge has been in a bit of a state ever since, so it was nice to get things tidied away and setup so I can actually do some electric playing. I’ve mainly been using my Gretsch Rancher acoustic while it’s been a mess. That is a damn fine acoustic though, I must say.

Anyway, just thought I’d check in.

Toodles!

Beginnings, ends and limbos

Have gotten up, even though I’m woefully under-slept and spacing-the-funk-out. Just found the teaspoon in my coffee mug, after thinking I’d washed it or something. I’d literally spooned coffee into the mug a minute earlier. Sigh. I may also have a curry hangover after, you know, eating lots of curry last night. I did add a rather lot of extra spice, I must say.

Well, I woke up feeling rather hopeless this morning, but then stuck on some Arrested Development. It really is an insta-pick-me-up. They should write prescriptions out for boxsets like antidepressants. Today’s episode was a bittersweet one, as I’ve reached the end of the original three season run. The Ron Howard cameo at the end was just beautiful. Don’t think I shall be attempting any of the revivals. It ended just right, for me.

Shall be ordering the Family Guy boxset today, as I’m hoping the similar absurdist humour will fill the Arrested Development gap. The 1-16 case only seems to be around £50, which is cool. I think I need this kinda stuff to watch in bed before the lights go out, as they really do put life into perspective and take the edge off my clinical blues.

Oh, I managed to get out to meet up with friends on Saturday, which went well. It was with my ex and a mutual friend. Wasn’t sure how things would be between me and the ex, as we haven’t really spoken since I finally moved my stuff out of storage at hers a few months ago. I felt it was the final nail in the coffin with regards to our close friendship, mostly due to her behaviour not improving since we split-up in 2016. If anything, it’s gotten worse.

Anyway, everything was very cordial (except from one moment when I felt she was baiting me), and it was nice to meet up with our mutual friend, who has just split-up with their partner. I think the three of us need easy-going friends right now, so it was nice to test out a new era of meet-ups. I hope we can stick to it.

Well, after the meet-up, I went to my local pub (not the nearest, just my regular) after a two week break. When I was in there last it was a Saturday night, which was a bad idea. There’s a reason why I go for drinks in the quiet, sedate afternoon. Nothing bad happened, I just felt really lonely surrounded by all these happy young people together having fun. That’s not really my scene.

Trying to think if there’s anything else to report.

Oh yeah, I’ve had issues with my phone and broadband supplier, so I may call it a day with them. They seem to be going through a phase of tricking people into renewing their contracts with worse deals. We can’t all be business savvy, so it’s not a cool way to treat people. If you can recommend a supplier, do drop me a line!

I managed a bit of guitar practice yesterday but, in general, I’m very uninspired creatively at the moment. This may not be helping my mood. Neither does the lack of sleep. Maybe things will improve in a day or two. We shall say.

Right… toodles, kittens!

Fine wines, chilli sauce and yoghurt

My mood definition is on hold today, due to a mild hangover. Don’t feel too bad, considering I mixed my drinks quite heavily last night. Think I consumed four beers, half a bottle of whiskey and a couple of bottles of wine. At least I got a decent night’s sleep, which was why I felt compelled to indulge in the first place. Sleep deprivation is, indeed, torture. Anyway, I mostly just watched DVDs. Parks & Rec seems to be my go-to drunk watch these days. Don’t know why. Maybe because it’s a bit campy, and I enjoy watching camp stuff when I’m getting wellied. Think I got a little obnoxious and confrontational on social networking towards the end of the evening, but I don’t seem to have lost any followers over it.

Don’t do drugs, kids.

I was going to pop out today to draw out some cash for my lunch date with a couple of friends tomorrow, but thanks to today’s late lie-in it means I’ll just have to pop out early tomorrow, or just get the driver to stop off at a cash machine on the way, which I’ve done before. I’ve not been to this pub ever, so I want to get a taxi straight there. I kinda know where it is but, due to my mobility issues, I’d just rather not have to worry about getting lost. It’s supposed to be one of the better real ale pubs in town, and Sheffield is pretty heaving with good real ale pubs.

Hoping one of the friends I’m meeting up with isn’t thinking of crashing at my place, as it isn’t fit to receive guests at the moment. The other friend has a bigger place, so if they do need to crash, they can go there. Or they may have gotten a hotel sorted, which they once said they’d do. We shall see. Depends if they’re planning on drinking, I guess.

Was expecting a couple of separate important deliveries today – a bottle of chilli sauce (which failed to come with the chilli flakes I ordered from the same place, so I emailed them about it) and a new SIM card (which I didn’t really want or need, but for some reason BT decided my mobile and broadband contracts had come to an end, so I had to sort out new ones for both) – but neither came, which is a pain. I’m guessing I’ll still be about when the post comes tomorrow, so I should be able to take delivery. Fun, fun, fun.

Just felt compelled to “freshened up” before I started writing this. My head’s certainly a little clearer now. Took me a while to figure out what I was into today (it often changes daily), but I seemed to get there in the end. It definitely needed to be something to do with women, but I wasn’t sure which. It’s usually a little clearer than that. Just one of the few downsides to being bisexual, I guess – it takes a while to centre yourself, porn-wise.

Right, better crack on with whatever and stuff.

Keep the dream alive, folks!

Concerning Jim

Well, it’s another rainy day in Rainyville, South Yorkshire. Usually it’s summer-like by about now, but whatevs. Actually, while it is, indeed, usually sunny around May, towards the end of the month, around my birthday, the clouds usually open up again. Funny old thing, huh?

I’m sat waiting for a grocery order, but I’m half tempted to go out to the pub after it’s arrived and I’ve packed everything away, despite the weather. I’m very underslept, and alcohol usually helps that nicely. Oh, I don’t know. I guess I could just have a glass of something at home. Got some cans of shitty lager left too.

My mood improved by the end of yesterday. Think watching fun movies definitely helps. Last night I watched Deathstalker II, which was recommended by Red Letter Media in their Best of the Worst show. It bares almost zero connection or resemblance to the first film, which I think was an Italian film. The second one is all Hollywood. Actors actually laugh on camera at how dumb it all is, so there’s a great spirit to it. If you’re ever in a rubbish mood: Deathstalker II it, baby!

I also managed to get some audioreading done, in particular Dean Koontz’s Strangers and Stephen King’s The Stand. I’m not very adventurous these days with my reading, even though I buy audio or e-books regularly. I buy them with the best of intentions, but then just sink back into my Discworld comfort zone. Being so safe isn’t particularly mind healthy, and I believe is sapping what little creative energy I have. It’s good to change things up and have new experiences. Then again, when you have clinical depression and are a bit of a shut-in, anything to relieve the blues is tempting.

I did have another bought of anxiety when I went to bed, although listening to the “non-fiction” opening chapters of Lord of the Rings helped. Concerning Hobbits, and the like, are more fun for me than the rest of the book. Whether that’s a good thing, or a bad thing, remains unclear.

Oh, before I went to bed, I listened to a lively reading of the notoriously bad piece of fantasy literature “The Eye of Argon”. It was written in 1970 by a 16 year old and is held as the gold standard of bad fantasy fiction. I didn’t think it was all that bad, in fact it was great for a 16 year old, but I believe the problem people find with it is is that not much happens, but the author uses a lot of words (to the point where you lose track of what’s going on due to his endless descriptions). He was obviously inspired by Robert E. Howard and H. P. Lovecraft, but whereas Lovecraft is known for his exhaustingly lavish descriptions, stuff is still going on in the narrative. Again, very little happens in The Eye of Argon, but it’s a novella. But, hey, no matter how "bad" the art you produce is, you still have a one up over most people who laugh at it, because you created something. What have they done?

Anyway, I think that’s enough from me for today. Shall check in at random, peeps.

Toodles!

Battling the usual enemy

For whatever reason, I’ve recently felt the need to keep a more generic diary/journal blog again. So here it is! I post way too regularly on Twitter throughout the day, which people can’t possibly keep track of, so I thought I might just start putting it all in one place. Plus, because people can’t possibly react to everything I post, I start to get a bit needy and upset. So, yeah, The Salad of Convenience is semi-therapy tool, semi-just-whatever tool. I’ll generally try to keep talk of music production and pop culture to my Whittling Post blog, but if things spill over then, well, that’s fine. Rules are for squares, right? Hmmm, not sure why I’m talking like a 90s Gen-X-er, but that’s ok too, I’m afraid.

So, what’s up with me this week? No idea. I was bouncing around like a happy kitty with a new ball of string last week, but now I’m bluer than I can possibly cope with. It’s pounding inside me. The last couple of days I’ve hardly been able to get out of bed or keep myself clean. I forced myself out today with the threat that personal admin needed doing, which I’ve done.

Tuesday’s are usually pub days for me, but I can’t possibly manage going out in this state. Not for anything. I’m arranging a get together with my ex-girlfriend and a mutual friend at the weekend, so I’m hoping I’ll feel better for that.

I’m currently in the midst of an Amazon Prime free trial and a Netflix free trial, which hopefully will give me things to watch while I’m feeling more sedentary than usual.

I just want to defeat these morbid thoughts.

I think.