Benders

So my drinking binges, or benders, have been getting more severe lately. I'm guessing the increased intake is due to my post-friend-dying nihilism. All this life nonesense does seem rather pointless now but, hey, at least I can party a bit before maybe just not waking up one day, like she did.

I've been avoiding going out since I realised I was going overboard. I was going to the pub maybe three times a week, getting completely paralytic, then just carrying on the next day. After a normal binge, I only have to deal with an immediate hangover. These, as I'm sure you're all aware, only last a day or so but, especially with my moving to whiskey, I've even started feeling addicted to alcohol. This only takes a couple of extra days to overcome but, well, it all adds up.

I'm sober now, amazingly, and feeling quite productive. I've been practicing my guitar and watching new movies, but I'm still feeling that need to go out and forget about everything. Or just feel nothing. Or at least a sense of emotional stability.

I think I have an appointment with a mental health worker coming up, so I'll talk to them about what's been going on.

Speaking of productivity, I've decided to start a creative writing blog. Just a serialised story I came up with last night. Well, it's been partially-gestating for a while, but it all came together whilst I was lying in bed waiting to go to sleep. I was so moved by the tale that I almost brought myself to tears. That's got to be a good sign, right?

Anyway, it's tentatively titled "Pontoon Railway", and you can find it here:

Pontoon Railway - A Story

I'll be updating it randomly and at different lengths, so each post isn't technically a "chapter" per se. I guess I'll just stop each time on a cliffhanger, as one does with serialised stories.

Always keep them wanting more!

Not sure what I'm going to do for the rest of the day today. Maybe go out and get drunk. You know, for a change.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!