Suck it and can't see

So I’ve been trying to adjust to my cyclothymia setting out new rules for my personality (including likes and dislikes), which can take time. I did feel very low for a few days, before realising that that was what needed to be done. I seem to be back into science fiction now, whilst only able to eat very simple, bland food, listening to mostly instrumental music, and playing acoustic guitar. Not electric. Although these changes often occur mildly throughout the week, sometimes, like this, I have a major shift, which requires a fair amount of emotional energy and organising.

Due to the very nature of them, these shifts are something I’ll never truly get used to and, as I’ve probably mentioned before, it stops me from really excelling at or achieving anything.

My low intelligence doesn’t help either.

I finally bit the bullet last week and rang the council to arrange some new furniture. My current stock started falling apart pretty much the second they dropped it off seven years ago but, due to their “five-year-life” rule and co-fucking-vid, I’ve been putting off upgrading. Plus the furnished accommodation inspector made a comment about my weight the last time he was over, so I’ve not been keen to engage with them since. Apparently it’s my fat bum’s fault the furniture they give me keeps breaking, not the fact that it’s cheap and shoddy and the department probably embezzle most of the money in their budget instead of handing out quality items. People are, officially, just the worst. Anyway, the fact that they’re coming tomorrow (Thursday) means that i’ve had to do some spring cleaning. Not to impress them with my housekeeping, but just so that they can physically haul the muthafunking old stuff out and the new stuff in.

I’m a bit of a hoarder.

This all meant that I got to try out my new vacuum cleaner, which has been sat in my entranceway for a few months. It’s a great machine, making vacuuming fun for the first time in… well… ever. I’ve still got some shuffling around to do before tomorrow afternoon, but I’ll be doing that in drips-and-drabs as the evening progresses. It actually started getting cooler yesterday (I lay UNDER my duvet for a change!) but, sadly, the temperature seems to be back up today, making any physical activity a rather sticky endeavour.

After beginning the spring cleaning last Wednesday, I ended up getting trashed for a couple of days. If you add on to this my cyclothymic confusion, then you have the excu… reason why I’ve only resumed tidying today. Plus I’m a fat, lazy, furniture flattening cunt so… you know.

Tell you what, I’m REALLY not looking forward to going behind the cooker for the first time in twelve years. An electrician is coming out first in the morning to disconnect it, so I’m expecting him to scream a fair amount. I’m sure, in his line of work, he’s seen worse.

I hope.

Due to my returning interest in science fiction, I’ve been planning a creative writing project. I didn’t get very far with the last one but, considering that that one was set in modern day, I understand that I probably wanted to not delve about in the here-and-now. Which is very me. It’s either past or present, baby! So, yeah, I might open a separate blog to post all that in, however briefly. It’s a story idea I’ve actually been workshopping in my head since I was a teenager, having never really found a good/inspiring jumping-off point.

I think I’m ready now.

I’ve been sitting around all day today waiting for an Amazon order, which has meant me having to wear.. urgh… CLOTHES. It’s not that I like being naked, it’s just that I DON’T like wearing clothes. The “Arriving Today” email didn’t appear until about an hour ago, so I’m not sure what they’ve been doing all day. I’m guessing they’ll be low energy and monosyllabic, making my attempts at being perky and sociable a waste of time.

Again, people are just the worst.

Anyway, my dinner’s ready, so I best go chow down on that.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!