Love on a bin liner

 What a queer old life. Anyway, I’m sat here as the first busses of the day are going passed. Yes, my sleep pattern is disturbed again. I only have myself to blame, as my drinking binge last week served its “purpose” of reminding me why I hadn’t drank in over a month. What a bloomin’ farce! Nothing that bad happened, although a can of beer did spray pretty much all over my lounge. You may have gotten some on you too. I think I pierced it whilst opening the case with a pair of scissors and, after initially thinking it was just a standard ring-pull error, had to run to the kitchen with jets of booze squirting all over everything. Rather comical sure but, when you’re already dreadfully confused due to your drinking excess, you can have a bit of a freak out. Which I did. Well, I think that’ll be the last until the pubs, apparently, open for good at the end of May. We shall see.

I had a routine call from my new council housing officer today. He seemed like a nice chap, and we went through some standard questions about my tenancy. He did initially ring my ex, who is still my next of kin, as I wasn’t answering my phone last week. A bit dramatic, I’d say, but I guess things have been dramatic of late anyway. My ex texted me that he was going to call back, and mentioned that, for some reason, she had mentioned to him that I was thinking of moving and she had, on my behalf, inquired about getting priority on the housing register. First of all, I don’t want to move. I did. But I don’t now. These were conversations I had had in private with her long ago. This isn’t a nice place to live, but it’s my home now and, believe it or not, I’ve settled in slightly. Not totally, but enough to not be desperate to escape. I will somehow try to make it clear to her that discussing my tenancy with my landlord without my consent isn’t cool, but I’m not sure how exactly to go about it. I may send some flowers and, the day before the flowers arrive, send her a gently worded text explaining how I feel. Or I could just call her and have a go. I’m not good with confrontation.

My gaming buddy sounds like he’s getting serious with his new gf, as they’re planning on going to visit his father together. Alas! Oh well, I’ll come to my senses and give up on that romantic possibility. Not that there ever was one. That woman from the brewery dropped off my beer off on Wednesday but, after a short back and forth by text, she’s gone deathly quiet on me again. I’m guessing that this isn’t one of the signs of somebody liking you back. What’s wrong with me?! Anyway, I’ll move on regarding that too. One needs to be realistic as time goes on, after all.

I’m continuing with my hobbies, now that my week-long hangover is officially over. I watched another episode of The Larry Sanders Show today, which was great. Shandling and Torn really do have great chemistry on screen together. I still can’t quite figure Jeffrey Tambor’s character out though. Sometimes he seems very meek and sensitive, then he’ll be a slimy ladies-man. It’s an interesting mixture of traits, but I’m not sure that they quite gel. This is no fault of Tambor’s though, who is, as always, a complex delight.

I’ve just bought the audiobooks for The Two Towers and The Return of the King, as I wanted the Appendices at the end of the latter. They used to only sell the audiobooks by the book-within-a-book so, by the time you’d completed the trilogy, you’d have made six purchases. Bastards. Anyway, they’ve stopped that now, but I’d already bought one and a half books by then. Sigh. I’d left this as it was for a few years but, upon seeing that Unfinished Tales was finally being released on audio, I did the 3 Extra Credits thing on Audible and bought up what I didn’t have. I now have a digital copy of half of The Two Towers (on iTunes, I think), that’ll just have to be a lesson learned. I’m looking forward to going through the Appendices, which is something I never did when I read the books as a teen.

I’ve been listening to a lot of history reference books lately. The other day I started on A History of Japan. It’s a book from the 1970s, but I think it’ll work well as a primer to a country I know very little about. There are some Great Courses lectures on Japan too, which I feel might be more in-depth. It sounds like Japan took on a lot of its modernity from China, who I’m already listening to some lectures on. It’s not staying in my head much, but I do plan to listen to them again. I’ve already listened to two Mary Beard books on Ancient Rome twice. I think, had I been more realistic and had a more stable education as a kid, I would have gone into something to do with history or literature. Bit late now, I guess.

If you can recommend some good history audiobooks, then do drop me a line. I’ll see about getting the comments section of my blogs switched back on. I forget how you do it, and they change the format of the settings often enough to confuse us.

The weather’s definitely improving still, although I fear there was a slight dip back down this evening. I had to put the heating on, which I haven’t done since probably before my last post. Never mind, I still prefer it cold. It’s nice to hear the birds back in town for the dawn chorus. You kinda forget you miss it, after a while. Does that make sense?

Audioreading that book on Japan got me in the mood to write some fiction in a more, I don’t know, humid climate. I’ve got this vision of strikingly tall hills and deep valleys covered in a rainforest, where the clouds never part and everything is constantly wet.  I want to write about life in this outback place, where bureaucracy has to face off against, I don’t know, the realities of hard toil. I also want to pick up where I left off with my other writing project, but I fear I have left it to long and shall have to read it all from the start to remind myself of what has happened so far. Not that I wrote much. I wish I didn’t have such dips in motivation. I feel like I’d make a good ghost writer. I love writing, but I’m not necessarily great with ideas. They’re very abstract and aimless. I guess you have to have an English degree or something to be a professional writer.

I need to start recording music again, but first my lounge requires a tidy up. I’ve had quite a few courier deliveries of late and, well, my flattening of boxes hasn’t exactly been kept up to date. I’m scared to find out what music equipment that beer sprayed onto too. Hmmm, maybe it’s all dried out by now. Fingers crossed!

Right, I think I’ll call it a day there. I’m going to go back to listening to Howard Shore’s score for Lord of the Rings and playing video games.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

Zen and the Art of Sitting Around

 I’ve just got my letter about shielding. It’s all very vague and unhelpful. It sounds like I carry on as usual, but I might be able to get priority grocery and free prescription deliveries. The government are using too many wishy-washy phrases like “advised to”, “try to” and “where possible”, which has the effect of making things sound less severe than they really are. Apparently my supermarket is going to contact me, so maybe I should switch the ringer on my landline on. It doesn’t matter, I’ve been able to get slots anyway. For some reason, there’s always a bunch of openings posted around 7 and 8 pm every day (for the following day). I’m not sure whether that’s when they get confirmation of more casual delivery staff, or customers just tend to cancel their orders around that time. Who knows. Anyway, I’ll keep my shielding letter close at hand, just in case. I won’t tell anyone I know (unless I deem it necessary), as people seem to like to have opinions about all this and try to tell you what’s what, even when they don’t actually know anything. I’m finding it’s best to just read the government’s website and steer clear of news sources and social media.

I woke up at 1 pm this afternoon, which I hope isn’t a trend. I’ve got my vaccination appointment next week, so I could really do with a healthy sleep pattern. Maybe it’s just a blip. I’ve been good for a few weeks. My gaming buddy was messaging me around midnight, which didn’t help. Apparently there’s been some touching between him and his new gf, but he wasn’t fussed about being satisfied himself. I wonder if that means something. I’m quite passive, sexually, so am always happy just to be there for the other person. I’m always aware that I can have a wank in private at any time, so being with someone is more about the intimacy, for me. I love a good cuddle.

While the snow is gone, the weather is still rather drab. It’s very windy today, but that’s ok. I prefer colder weather, although the recent snow seemed endless. I think it only lasted a week, but it felt like longer. It’s the only time of year we’re all grateful for some rain. I only went out during it once, to take my rubbish down to the wheelie bins. It was event free.

I really miss the pub. Not just the beer, but standing at the bar talking to a bunch of racist alcoholics and trying hard not to wince in agony at some of their awful opinions. Bless. Who knows, maybe I’ll be back in there by the height of summer, but the letter I got today isn’t filling me with confidence. I think If you’d told me last March that this would all still be going on in a year’s time, I would have burst into tears.

I made an impromptu curry last night, which was very nice. I wanted it to be a meat one, but I had no fresh stuff, so I used a tin of chicken in white sauce, which worked really well. I’ve got loads leftover, but I’m going to have to eat it all today, as I don’t think freezing and reheating meat that’s been cooked twice already is particularly recommended. I’ll have it just with poppadoms, rather than with rice. I’ve found both is too much for me. Last night I had it with brown rice, which went down nicely.

I’ve been watching Wes Anderson films this week. I’ve needed some comfort viewing, and these work perfectly. I’m on The Life Aquatic today. I might do The Darjeeling Limited later. I’ve not been into movie watching much lately, which is a phase I often go through. I’ve mostly just been indulging in old sitcoms or gaming. I should probably flip through my five DVD carry cases and pick out discs at random and watch them. Just to have something to do.

I’m still tempted to get some booze in, if only to remind myself why I’ve not drank in over a month. What terrible logic, right? Yeah, I think that’s part of being an addict. It’ll kill some time though, and take me out of this tedious flat. Mentally speaking, of course. Sigh.

A mutual friend of my ex has been back in touch today. She’s a very sweet tomboy lesbian, who I’d totally have a crush on if she weren’t gay. My brain seems to stop me even going there, which helps. I don’t know why I always fall for lesbians. Talk about being self-defeating! Oh well, I’m glad I’m bisexual, even though there's a lot of biphobia from both straight and gay people. I couldn’t imagine having that dividing line between the sexes. I just love everyone!

Right, on that amorous note, I think I’ll go heat up that curry. It’ll probably take about an hour on a low light. Yes, there’s really that much left.

Anyway, do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

A midnight pond of zombies

 Well, I’m still here, although I’m not sure where else I should be. I’ve not felt like writing a post in a while, but who knows why. I suppose my video game streams have turned into a sort of vlog/podcast of late. I discuss stuff that’s probably way too personal for a stream, but it’s not like anyone actually tunes in.

You maybe unsurprised to learn that not a great deal has happened since September. Christmas was blah, and I think I passed out drunk before midnight on New Year’s Eve, so that was that. I haven’t actually drank in just over a month now, as I started to get really bored of the routine of getting drunk alone. I didn’t see that one coming. Anyway, I’ve starting to feel the urge again over the last few days, which is maybe why I thought I’d best fire up the old blog. You know, to try and sift through some feelings.

My old gaming buddy has kept his promise of spending more time with me, which has surprised me. I genuinely thought he was gone for good. I even stopped replying to his correspondence, in any form. I just needed closure. He ended up sending me a very heartfelt message, which I just couldn’t ignore. I was very honest, even down to saying I didn’t want him to feel forced to talk to me out of some sense of duty. Anyway, we’ve spoken regularly since, so that’s cool. I’ve not had a friend before or since my ex that I’ve spoken to so intensely for this long, so it was very sad feeling like that had ended. He’s now in an official relationship with a girl, which has apparently tipped over into the physical, so there goes my hope that he was gay. I’m still holding out, as all the signs are there. But, hey, even if he is, there’s no guarantee he’d like me in that way.

I started recording music again. I’ve not even entertained the notion of singing this time, as I kind of embarrassed myself last time. These will just be instrumentals. Short and snappy ones. I’ve posted two already, which you can find here: soundcloud.com/pondzombies

They’re a little rough around the edges, but it’s kept me busy. I forgot how stressful recording was. But it’s good stress. You know?

Oh, I’ve started separate Twitter feeds to promote both my musical and gaming outputs. They are @pondzombies and @midnightsarnie respectively, should you fancy saying “hello”. I had to turn the comments off this blog, as I was getting a fair amount of spam all of a sudden. I’m not getting into the social aspect of Twitter this time around, as that ended in disaster after ten years, although I will reply to people, of course. I just don’t want to hinge my social life on it, as that part of the internet died a while ago.

I’ve started watching The Larry Sanders Show, after I felt I needed more Jeffrey Tambor after getting into Arrested Development. I now see him as the genius he is. His dry wit should be rewarded with him being made an honorary Brit. I’m only a few episodes into Larry Sanders, but I’m hooked already. It’s interesting how this show and Parks & Recreation used the same cinematographer that shot This is Spinal Tap. They obviously felt they needed someone experienced with the mockumentary genre. I think he became the “go to guy” for that kind of thing.

I’ve got my vaccination next week, which I’m not looking forward to. Apart from the pain of the injection itself, it’s at a surgery that I’m not familiar with, so I’ll need to take a taxi there. I’ll have to make it clear to the driver that I have no idea where this place is, as they often ask you to help out with directions. It’s not like London, where you have to have “The Knowledge” to get your taxi license (although that may be an urban legend, I’m not sure). They get lost driving two streets over around here. Sigh.

My ex also warned me that I could be getting a letter in the post about having to shield, although she says a lot of things. She used to work in council housing, and still regularly reminds me that they’re planning to knock my building down, so I’ll have to move. I’ve asked her to stop telling me this, as it’s quite upsetting. I’ve yet to be told anything about it, but she still reminds me whenever she’s forgotten she’s already told me, like, a hundred times. Plus she hasn’t worked in housing in years, so I doubt she’s privy to updates. So, yes, I’ll hold fire until I actually see a letter. If she keeps bringing it up, I’ll ask her to back off a bit. Then she’ll forget and start telling me again, but whatevs.

Sod’s law I get a letter in the post tomorrow telling me I’m being evicted. Nothing would surprise me.

Hmmm, what else?

Oh, that woman I went for a walk with almost a year ago has now started doing deliveries for the local brewery she works for. I was kinda hoping there might be something between us, but she didn’t really respond to my texts after that one walk. I don’t want to pester anyone, so I decided to leave it. Well, she’s been to my home a couple of times now to deliver beer but, apart from a polite catch-up in the stairwell, she hasn’t shown much interest. I best go back to the drawing board. Finding love wasn’t easy for when we WERE allowed outside the house. Now, well, it’s something I’ve lost all hope about.

Well, this has been quite cathartic, so I’ll hopefully post updates more frequently. I’ve needed someone to talk to.

I hope you all have a nice weekend.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

 

 

Agony, ecstasy and egotism

It has just gone half past four in the morning as I write this first line. I’ve entered yet another unbalanced sleep pattern, which I am now trying to correct. A few late lie-ins due to alcoholic over-indulgence is usually the cause of this, and is certainly responsible this time. I got up at three in the afternoon yesterday, and my intention is to stay awake until as late as possible today. Sigh. Getting through these nocturnal periods is always an endurance test; however, I’m actually not that fussed about it this time as, to be honest, there’s nothing to get up for anymore. By the sounds of it, we’re approaching another lockdown so, hey, who cares whether it’s day or night anymore?! What’s out there to experience? Nothing.

My drinking increased a couple of weeks ago due to severe neck and back pains. The cause of these pains remained a mystery for almost a month, which were constant and left me nearly in tears morning, noon and night. Just to distract myself from the pain, it became standard practice just to get drunk until I passed out which, since I have nowhere to go and nothing to do, was quite easy. I have, I believe, discovered the root of the problem, which is my crappy council-issued bed. So far, the simple act of lying on it without pillows has allowed the pains to recede. I am very, very pleased by this turn of events. I could not live in such agony for much longer. A side-effect of my pain-induced emotional exhaustion (and subsequent liquid overconsumption) meant that I missed a week of my antidepressants, which caused some very ugly side-effects indeed. Thankfully, I managed to wander around to the chemist on Monday (or Tuesday, I’m still not sure), and get myself back on the medication wagon. Hurrah! I am feeling nearly human again, both mentally and physically. Relatively speaking, of course.

At the height of my withdrawal side-effects and boozing early last week, I did send some emotional texts about my family and friends to my ex. I can’t remember what I said, but it’s led me to want to keep my phones switched off ever since. My dad has tried to call me, but I’ve not answered. I assured them (just before my communications blackout) that I was recovering, so I hope I will be left alone. My ex, who also suffers from depression and knows the nasty side-effects of antidepressant withdrawal, will hopefully understand what I’m going through and respect my desire for privacy.

Well, as I’ve been feeling better this week, I’ve begun streaming video gameplay footage live on YouTube (with my verbal commentary/ramblings). I’ve been considering doings so for a while now, but never had the full confidence to do so. I think the effort I was putting into editing and posting short highlight clips, and the lack of views I was getting in return, forced me to want to try something else. I have no idea why I am striving for views, as such a thing usually leads to unwanted negative attention. I’ll probably just make all my videos private again soon, just to avoid trolls. I’ve mainly just had spam comments posted under my videos up until now, which is just tiring, to be honest. I’ve even had a couple of spam posts here, which is odd. That’s never happened before. I guess it's more disheartening than annoying.

My old gaming buddy is going through some standard life changes at the moment, so I’m guessing I won’t be hearing from or gaming with him for some time. It’s been sporadic this year, anyway. I’ve generally taken myself off the social, erm, radar altogether, apart from my streaming. Whatever one is to do in order to maintain close friendships in this life I am, well, at a loss to know. I truly believe I will be fossilised within these damned four walls. Alas!

So, what’s next? I have no idea. What scraps of dreams and ambition I may have had before are, like everything else right now, on permanent hold. I rise. I wash. I sit. I consume. I sleep. The echoes of invisible neighbours whisper through the dusty curtains. The curtains remain drawn. The whispers remain faint.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

Strange notions/dark potions

Golly, it’s been a while! I’ve sat down, over the past month and a half, to write some words on my recent goings-on, but I’ve just not had any creative energy. I can’t say anything out of the ordinary has happened, although something may spring to mind as I type. Who knows.

My mood has generally been good, although I have had a few low spells. The last couple of days have been quite bad but, as always, I am at a loss to know why. Being clinically depressed, you do start to wonder what the trigger has been. I don’t think there has been one this time.

I’ve had long spells of not drinking alcohol, then periods of debauchery, with the after-effects being severe enough to make me stay sober for a while. I’m such a fool.

Even though I did try to stop gaming, due to my old gaming buddy no longer able to hook up (which did affect me), I’ve been immersing myself in Rainbow Six: Siege, which I’m finally getting sort-of good at. Over the past couple of weeks, my old gaming buddy has managed to say hello, and we’ve had a few nice catch-up sessions. They usually provide some fun clips to post on YouTube. Here's one:

The weather has suddenly turned wet today, after a few weeks of intense heat and milder days. I’m wondering whether we’re now venturing into autumn. I’m glad the summer wasn’t too prolonged. Perhaps we’ll get a very snowy winter. I guess being snowed in won’t make much of a difference this year.

I was thinking of ringing up my regular pub and asking for advice about me making a return. Being visually impaired, I’m unable to read signs or often tell how close I am to people, so I was hoping they would talk me through the protocol for venturing into their establishment. I might do that today, actually. I hope a member of staff I know answers, as that would make discussing my concerns a lot easier.

I’ve bought quite a few new DVDs/Blu-rays lately, but have struggled to concentrate on anything until the end. I did manage to finish All the Money in the World which, for a latter Ridley Scott film, is shockingly good. I would highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys a good suspense-thriller. While I have no interest in the gossipy-drama surrounding the film’s production, or even desire to engage in the grotesque trial by media/hearsay that seems grimly popular at the moment, I would say that Christopher Plummer was a much better choice of actor in the roll of J. Paul Getty. Regardless of any other factors, which are, frankly, none of my business, I just can’t imagine Kevin Spacey in that role at all.

I also finally sat down to watch Toy Story 4, which I had low expectations for. It’s a solid film, but it does tiresomely tread the same path as the last two films. I stick by my theory that 1-2 compliment each other wonderfully, and 3 is a fine soft-reboot. If you’ve seen the first two, then you don’t need to see the third, and vice versa. Like the, apparently, tear-jerking ending to 3, I was thoroughly unmoved by Woody’s exit from the series in 4. Perhaps I’ll do some serious soul-searching and write a Whittling Post essay on why, but I don’t feel emotionally strong enough for that right now.

I have some deliveries arriving today, one from Amazon and one from the supermarket. The former is just some stuff for around the house, including a new toaster and a towel set, while the latter is just some groceries. I’ve ordered some booze, as I’m really struggling with this low mood attack. Not that booze will help, of course, but it might at least shock my system into feeling something, well, different.

I may head over to my ex’s for a few days at the weekend (apparently it’s a Bank Holiday), although I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. I’ll decide later in the week.

Well, I hope this has all made sense, and that you are all faring better that I.

Finger’s crossed my mental state will improve soon. This is rather unpleasant.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

On the edge of night

I’ve had a suspiciously upbeat week, which may very well be breaking finally. Maybe it’s because I haven’t drank in nearly a month, but I have felt more positive, and even my gaming has been improving. But, yes, in the last twenty-four hours, I’ve felt a little low again, so I’m concerned I’m about to crash.

My week has mostly been spent playing Rainbow Six: Siege multiplayer, which I used to only be able to play either drunk or with a “wing-man” AKA my old gaming buddy, so it’s quite shocking that I’ve felt brave enough to enter the often-unfriendly arena of multiplayer gaming by myself. I have turned the game’s party chat volume down, and changed my privacy settings so I can’t receive messages from people I haven’t friended on PSN, so that’s blocked the usual verbal abuse I get from people (and my fear of it), and I think my confidence has increased as a result. There have been a few incidents that have upset me though, but their impact usually fades after a good night’s sleep. Here’s an example of some of the unpleasant people you can encounter:



I’d literally just met that guy and already he was being awful to me. I had hardly said anything, and that’s what I got. You can tell he’s a classic school bully type, abusing others just so he can impress his mates. Sigh.

My sleep pattern has generally been back on track and healthy, with me regularly waking up around ten in the morning. That’s the perfect time for me. I did get up after only five hours sleep on Saturday, but I really needed to go out to pick up my antidepressants and purchase a gas meter top-up. I’ve been without hot water for a few weeks, as I lost my top-up card. Well, after I went out to the shop, I managed to stay awake until ten that evening, thus tiring myself out with a seventeen hour day. Needless to say, it didn’t take me long to drift off to sleep that night. In fact, I was so out of it by the end of the day that I forgot to add to my creative writing project, which I’ve managed to stick to my “write something, even if it’s just a paragraph, a day” rule.

The weather was getting me down, as it just didn’t seem to want to stop raining, which is odd for July. Apparently, we’re due a heatwave this week, which I’m not looking forward to. Oh well, I’m sure it’ll be autumn soon enough. Never has a year gone so quickly as this one, I guess because we’ve hardly had anything to do. While life seems slow in the moment, days without incident do tend to fly by. If you cram your time with experiences, each day can feel like a lifetime. In a good way. 2020 has just been an agonising river of nothing.

My regular pub is finally opening back up but, after a perusal of the new guidelines they’ve published that customers have to abide by, I think I’ll hold off paying them a visit until this is all over for good. I was very downhearted. They’re not even opening in the afternoon during the week, which is when I prefer to go. I’d have thought that that would be the best time to test this all out, given how quiet it is during that period. It’s usually just single, middle-aged dudes like me who frequent the establishment, so why they want to start off with times where groups of people usually go is beyond me. There’s nowt so queer as folk. I was so disappointed by the new guidelines that I put in an order for a case of beer form that independent brewery I I’ve found during these quiet months. I think I’m about to take a break from sobriety. My sudden dip in mood certainly seems to be beckoning for a drink. You know, because alcohol really helps depression.

Oh, wait, I meant the other thing.

Anyway, yes, due to submerging myself back into gaming, the days have flown by. Shockingly so. I’ve not watched any new films as a result. Even my Planet of the Apes season has taken a backseat. I was only a few episodes into the TV series when I stopped. It was a pretty good run though, for me. I’m sure I’ll pick up where I left off soon enough.

I’m still working my way through the core first three seasons of Arrested Development which, when I’m in the right mood, is an absolute joy. I’ve even been trying to get my old gaming buddy into it, as I managed to get him addicted to Parks & Recreation. I think I’ve started annoying him though, so I’ve stopped my hard-sell tactic. I’ll forever be jealous of Ellen DeGeneres for bagging the truly wonderful Portia de Rossi. I can imagine even gay guys and straight women fall for her. She’s just that awesome.

So, yeah, that’s about it, culture-wise. No new films. No new books. No new music. Just sinking into pointless gaming. It’ll just be another one of my phases though, so I’m sure I’ll be back enthusing over new stuff soon enough. Never fear!

My old gaming buddy managed to get a television sorted, so he’s been back online. We’ve had a couple of chats, which has been nice. Here's one of my favourite moments from our recent sessions:



Mainly we’ve been texting though. I think he actually flirted with me the other day, which took me by surprise. I was describing the manager of my local chemist who I have a crush on, and my old gaming buddy was all like “Oh, that sounds like me!”, in a coquettish sort of way. I’ll try not to read too much into it, but it’s the first time that’s happened. Maybe he’d had a large bang on the head earlier that day. Who knows.

Well, folks, I think I’ll call it a day here. I’m sure I’ll post again once I’m back at the bottom of a bottle, where I belong. Fun, fun, fun.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

June, July and JETPACKS!

My mood and general interest in doing stuff has improved over the last week, which is a relief. It definitely must have just been one of my “fun” little mental phases that has now run its course. In fact, I’ve been so active with my hobbies that I’ve not gotten drunk in about two weeks. Impressive, huh? I’m sure there’s no connection. None at all. Not one.

Anyway…

So, yes, I’ve managed to stick to my creative writing, having added some strict discipline to the process. I now write a chapter each night before bed (my most creative period), even if that chapter is just a paragraph explaining the general goings on, which will, inevitably, be fleshed-out in further drafts. Sometimes I surprise myself and write about a page, including dialogue, which is encouraging. I’m not putting any pressure on myself, which is what usually kills my motivation. The aim is just to get the bare-bones of a first draft written, with the basic series of core events outlined. Who knows, maybe I’ll have a novel written by the end of the year. Stranger things have happened.

I’ve also been listening to a bit more music, although nothing too new. I’ve gotten back into Arcade Fire, even though their second album comes with some emotional baggage (due to my circumstances when it was released back in 2007). I’m sticking to their first three albums, as Reflektor and Everything Now appear to represent a dip in quality. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten to the end of Reflektor, actually. It’s kind of depressing that Win Butler is the same age as me. He’s definitely achieved slightly more than I have, in the same amount of time. Oh well.

I finished watching the recent Planet of the Apes prequels, which was a wonderful experience. As I mentioned in my last post, movies about animals are not my favourite, which is why I’ve been putting off watching these, but I’m glad I finally bit the bullet. The second film, Dawn, is possibly the best, but War has a wonderful musical score and some great moments. It just feels a little aimless. It was fun having Woody Harrelson play the villain, even though he’s a very difficult man to hate. I wasn’t convinced I’d believe in his character, due to Woody’s likeability, but he worked hard enough to convince me of his dastardliness. Was he drunk at the end, or had he succumbed to the de-evolving virus? I wasn’t sure. I still think Caesar should have given him the doll, and not the gun, but whatevs. Steve Zahn was great as Bad Ape. Zahn was last on my list of actors I thought was doing the voice, so it was a nice surprise to find out that it was him. I always think Zahn is more famous than he actually is, which is a shame. I didn’t recognise much in his filmography. He seems like a nice guy. Fame seems pretty awful anyway, to be honest. So, as you can probably tell, I have a lot to say about War, even though Dawn is the better film. I’d recommend watching the whole trilogy. I actually found myself missing James Franco from the first film, which I didn’t think was physically possible. Life is full of surprises! Well, I’m now onto the short-lived 70s TV series, which is amiably naff. Roddy McDowell is superb though, and seems to be keeping the whole thing afloat. It’s apparently set before the Charlton Heston film, even though I think it’s actually after. I genuinely believe they just got the dates wrong. Fact-checking movie trivia wasn’t quite as easy back in the 70s as it is now but, even if it is wrong, it’s all I have to go by. There are only fourteen episode, of which I’m watching one a night. It’s actually quite a nice way to wind down before moving through to the bedroom.

I seem to be gaming a lot more at the moment, but it’s still nice having the standalone DVD/Blu-ray player for when I just want to switch off from the social aspect of modern gaming. I just bought a jetpack in GTA Online. Go me! My old gaming buddy still hasn’t gotten a new TV sorted, but we’re in daily textual contact. I’ve offered to buy him a new one, but he’s agreed to seek other options first. I’m fine with buying him one as, well, there’s nothing else to spend my money on at the moment (besides food and bills, of course).

I went for a walk on Friday to post my repeat prescription at the GP surgery, which seemed to be open again. Well, there were a lot more cars in the parking lot than there have been since March, but I’m not sure whether patients are allowed in yet. Apparently, this weekend is when hospitality business are allowed to reopen but, as I mentioned last week, my regular pub won’t be opening its doors until the lockdown easing guidelines are less restrictive. That first pint on my return will be a glorious thing indeed. I’ll be sure to take a picture.

I think I’m going to try to get out for a walk every day now, as my fitness level is perilously low. I have nowhere to aim for on my walk, so I’ll just do a circular plod to the nearby shops and back. Keep it simple. Any further and I’ll start having to deal with hills, which I’ll need to work up to. Everywhere in Sheffield is either uphill or downhill. It’s a thing.

I’ve started watching Arrested Development in bed at night, which I think is also helping to improve my mood. It’s such a funny show, and I’m glad it was short-lived. Long-running sitcoms in America just become depressing after a while. The first run of three seasons was just right. I’m not even going to bother with anything that came after.

That woman who works at my regular pub has gotten back in touch. She stopped texting me after we went for our friendly walk a few months ago, so I was worried I’d said something off but, no, apparently she’s just been stressed with some personal stuff. I’m glad, as she’s a very sweet person, and there always seems to be a nice vibe between us when we sporadically bump into each other at the pub. It’d be nice if a stronger bond develops, but I’m trying not to get my hopes up just yet. I probably will though. You know what I’m like.

Right, I best go practice my jetpack flying to impress nobody with. I’ll let you know if my current sobriety has ended in my next post. I haven’t stopped drinking as a rule, I think I just got bored of feeling like crap every day. Seems fair.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!