Geekology

I was thinking about how not all geeks are the same and can be passive or aggressive depending on which “category” they fall into. I’m not a big fan of labels personally but I thought this would be a fun little exercise in sociological distinctions and definitions.

I’ve subcategorized the list into two sections: Actual Geeks and Fake Geeks in an attempt to address the recent popularity of “geek chic” amongst non-geeks.

Please feel free to add your own suggestions and definitions or call me up on my sweeping generalisations :)

Plus, what type of geek do you think you are?

ACTUAL GEEKS:

Anal Possessive Geek

A very tidy and orderly geek, they like things to be exactly where they want them to be (even when it’s sometimes inconvenient and impractical) and do not like sharing or loaning items out. They most likely still use a pencil case in their 30s and make sure you return their reluctantly borrowed belongings by the end of the day. Academically intelligent but lacking in common sense.

Elite Geek

The real loner and isolated geek who is aggressively antisocial and could in fact be diagnosed as a “sociopath”. They have no desire to like or be liked by others and can even lash out verbally if approached. They can develop delusions of grandeur and generally believe in an intellectual “elite” and consider intelligence to be equal to goodness and superiority.

Harmless Obsessive Outdoor Geek

Train, plane, bus and boat spotters etc. whose predilection for manmade vehicles and machinery outside their homes in public (which requires mingling with crowds) doesn’t always mean that they are particularly sociable. Often dressing for comfort and adverse weather conditions rather than style, they hang around by themselves or in pairs at transport depots or behind airport fencing. This type of geek can also include astronomers and real ale drinkers.

Casual Geek

The term “casual” refers to both their physical stature, clothing and geek shift pattern. Geeky and articulate overall but discerning and very particular about their cult interests. They are generally not academically intelligent but can apply themselves to their chosen field of expertise when it suits them. They are socially awkward in groups but can still be talkative and have mainstream interests and tastes.

FAKE GEEKS:

Classic Nerd Geek Chic

Often seen in the form of office workers or d-list celebrities. Recognisable by their expensive black-rimmed glasses (actual geeks spend their money on computer games and comics, not fashion) and trendy tight-fitting shirts and tank tops that show off their slender and toned physiques (actual geeks are not toned, they sit hunched over computers all night or eat fast food rather than spending time in the gym and eating salads). These are not real geeks and should be discounted from the actual geek community entirely.

Laid Back Slacker Geek Chic

A very geek friendly portion of society but still not to be counted as actual geeks. They are usually very attractive and have nice skin. They can have alternative hobbies like gaming, comics and alt/indie rock but are still far too socially capable and good with talking to girls to be truly defined as actual geeks. They can be recognised by their shaggy haircuts, t-shirts with clever slogans/patterns, sagger jeans, tatty sports shoes and the fact that they are usually in unsuccessful local rock bands. Due to their geek friendly nature they can often be teamed up with to help actual geeks become more sociable and achieve their first sexual experience. See the film “Scott Pilgrim Vs The World” for numerous examples of Laid Back Slacker Geek Chic.

Just a trim, please

I greet you post circumcision and feeling rather delicate and tender.

The operation was very quick and I was home by about 5pm but the recovery process is going to take longer than I’d anticipated. I’ve got a lot of stitches “down there” and a considerable amount of swelling which is very painful. I’m popping painkillers like there’s no tomorrow. I’ve been having to sleep downstairs on the sofa a lot as I’ve not felt particularly comfortable in bed… plus there’s a danger of my girlfriend rolling over in her sleep and opening up a wound and causing me lots of damage. Ouch.

So what have I been up to since the surgery? Not much. I think for the first few days I was suffering with post op depression, if there is such a thing, but I think I’m finally coming out of it and feeling a lot better. I’m still having to move around the house slowly and concentrate on my every move in an attempt not to put too much pressure on my crotch.

Nice.

Well before the surgery on Monday I was doing very well with my newly organised lifestyle. I was exercising and writing and sorting out my personal admin. But this week I’ve just been left with no desire to do any of it. I’ve gotten a bit of writing done, which is good, but I just don’t want to risk dealing with anything that might bring injury… and I know all too well that with paperwork comes paper cuts. Eek!!

Since sitting in comfortable seats seems to make the pain worse I’ve moved my laptop onto the dinner table, so I spend my time either sat upright here on the internet or lying in bed bewailing and bemoaning my situation and trying to sleep.

My girlfriend hasn’t been much help and has been acting up a lot saying she’s been tired ever since she took me to the hospital and other strange excuses for being mardy and lumbering around the house getting in the way. I’ve actually preferred it when she’s been at work so I can not worry about bumping into things she leaves lying about but I have felt quite lonely here and there so I’ve enjoyed her company in the evening and on her days off.

I must sound horrible, but I’ve just felt so grumpy since Monday.

Apparently I’m not allowed any sexual activity (including masturbation) for six weeks… SIX WEEKS!!! The first time I heard that I almost fainted, but seeing how slowly the swelling seems to be going down I think I’ll be lucky if it’s safe to do anything before seven weeks. We shall see.

The worst part is when I get erections in my sleep I wake up bleeding and in a great deal of pain. I can’t really do anything about sex dreams so I just have to pop some painkillers in my mouth if I wake up with a hard-on. Sods law I’ve been having a lot of sex dreams this week. Bloody typical!! :)

I hope this is all worth it.

A cut above the rest

Well I’m back home for the summer holidays at last. Those last two weeks of college weren’t easy… although the booze helped. I’ve decided to go back for the final two months of my course if only to finish off the peripheral subjects I’m doing. In the last week before I came back I had no music lessons and was thoroughly relieved.

I’ve drawn up a timetable of things to do while I’m off in order to keep me busy. It’s stuff I would have done anyway but this way it keeps me focused and will make sure I don’t spend more time than necessary on the internet. I’ve included writing sessions, exercise, personal admin time and housework. I’m curious to see if I’ll stick to it.

I went for my pre-op assessment yesterday to make sure I was fit and ready for my circumcision. Apparently the actual operation won’t be for another six to eight weeks so I’ve got plenty of time to get really unhealthy and catch stuff… d’oh!! It wasn’t nice going by myself and I never enjoy being prodded and poked for three hours. I always walk away from hospital check-ups feeling somewhat abused. The staff were very nice though and there was enough little tests and things to get on with that I didn’t really have the chance to get bored. I’m glad my girlfriend wasn’t there with me as she’d have been making jokes and teasing me about why I was there. She’s not great with satire and sometimes just comes across as being rude or nasty.

We’re in the midst of a heatwave and I’m not enjoying it at all. There’s barely any air movement at all. Apparently it’s supposed to rain today but I’ll believe it when I see it. I’m meant to go for a walk into town today but if it does start heaving with precipitation then I’ll have to think of something else.

I built the outside run for the pets yesterday evening and sat outside with them for a couple of hours. They seemed to enjoy it. It’s funny to note that indoors the rabbit is the more inquisitive one and braver whilst the guinea pig tends to follower her and/or hide in a corner whereas outside their roles are reversed and it’s the rabbit that seems a bit nervous and on edge. Bless. I’ll try and take them out again today if it’s cool enough.

While I’m off I’m going to try and stay away from bread as I think that’s what puts a lot of my weight on. Shame really as I love sandwiches and yummy buttery toast. They’re my kryptonite I guess. We shall see how long it lasts. I’m getting withdrawal symptoms already!! Eek!!

Peace out.

Rendezvous with college

I’ve spent the whole week at home as my girlfriend was struggling to come off her antidepressants. I ended up going to the doctor with her where she broke down crying… then I reluctantly joined in. I’d not brought down my own antidepressants as I thought I was going to be away for one whole day so I ended up missing about four or five tablets. Tuesday I had to go to the doctor myself as I was getting withdrawal symptoms and feeling quite low.

I’ve spent the week not doing much as I wasn’t sure when I would be leaving. I think I’ve put on an extra bit of weight, which doesn’t help my confidence. Perhaps it’s all the toast I’ve been eating. No, it is all the toast I’ve been eating. Oh well at least there are only two weeks of my college course left. I get the feeling I’ll pack up and leave this week though. I feel so pulled apart by different forces right now.

I’ve found a way of being able to read, but I’m wondering how long it will last. I’m using the DIY magnifying visor I bought a while back but taking off my glasses as the two layers of magnification seem to blur things a little. I’m reading the Arthur C Clarke Novel Rendezvous With Rama which is written in an interesting style... it’s more like a Wikipedia article than a novel (which works well for me).

I had a bottle of wine last night and it’s really numbed me this morning. That’s probably not a bad thing though as it’ll probably make it easier for me to leave. My girlfriend said she’d come into town with me so we could have lunch together but I get the feeling she’ll bail on me again.

My tutor rang on Friday and we had a chat. He’s an ok guy but I do wonder whether he bothers to address my concerns about the college course. I get the feeling he just bins the notes he makes after I leave our weekly sessions. I will write a complaint to somebody about the music department wasting my time… I’m just not sure who to send it to and who will listen. Perhaps the government department which funded my being there.

I think I’ll carry on recording music in an amateur capacity but would like to focus more on writing as I think it’s the most economically viable creative outlet for me right now. I think I’m finally getting the travelling bug too as I was talking to my girlfriend last night about some of the places I’d like to visit. Am I finally waking up? I’ve felt so contained for so long.

It’s still very early down here in the living room. Still very quiet…

“Suck It And See” – Arctic Monkeys (album review)

The Arctic Monkeys have, not wanting to turn their backs on perceived failings, put at least three songs on Suck It And See (Brick By Brick, Library Pictures, All My Own Stunts) that play out like salty leftovers from their previous album - Humbug. Library Pictures, for instance, could be taken as a companion piece to Pretty Visitors with it’s cascading rhetoric and lucid midway waltz. Generally though on Suck It And See there’s an overall feeling that the Sheffield foursome are striving for more than just the breathe-too-hard-and-they’ll-fall-over melodies featured on Humbug. The denser production and brighter tone on songs like Reckless Serenade, Suck It And See and the epic That’s Where You’re Wrong hint at a new direction altogether.

As the rest of the British indie/alternative music scene scrambles desperately to sound like early to mid 1980s synth pop groups (a revivalist genre ensnaring the likes of Kaiser Chiefs, Glasvegas and Editors) the Arctic Monkeys have boldly moved on a step and now warmly tip their flat caps to late 80s Madchester bands and Union Jack waving 90s Britpop stalwarts such as The Stone Roses, The Charlatans, The Bluetones, The Lightning Seeds and, erm, Babybird (you’ll know it when you hear it). It’s a brave step, considering that said decade of untucked long-sleeved shirts and shaggy bowl haircuts still feels relatively close and, as with all just-departed periods of fashion and music culture, regrettable. But the Monkeys’ fourth album effortlessly strives to celebrate a jangly, drunken singalong vibe that has all but vanished in contemporary indie rock.

Suck It And See’s opening track contains a couple of mistakes… intentional mistakes, of course… clever mistakes. She’s Thunderstorms acts as a continuation of Humbug’s precedent of getting the ball rolling with a tale of sexual frustration and symbolic titillation. Alex Turner sings about having girls “lying on [their] front” or “up against the wall”. Wherever. But girls send his mind and mouth into a frenzy and his rising blood pressure shoots his vocals into a topsy turvy summersault. So much so are these four Northern boys distracted by black leggings and teasing feminine fringes that even the guitar solo gets “sabotaged” by too much distortion that creates an ugly and cloudy fuzz tone (tightened slightly with effects and equalisation) that most guitarists would demand a re-take of.

What seems to have changed most of all since 2006’s Whatever They Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not is the prioritisation of Turner’s crooning vocals over frenetic twin guitar attacks. Each song is constructed to allow the vocals to wander in and out at any time, like a band playing live that’s waiting patiently for their singer to swagger back on stage after a lengthy cigarette break. The compositions are looser and take into account a more patient audience/fanbase that are less in need of instant pop gratification. You get the feeling that Richard Hawley and The Divine Comedy have been playing on Turner’s turntable of late and have taught him the importance of languid purposeful pace and charming music hall pomp.

If their milestone 2006 debut represented a snapshot of being at the age when you’re either too old or too young to get away with reckless behaviour and could never (and probably should never) be repeated then ideally what has come along since should be considered their true starting point. Suck It And See is the sound of the Arctic Monkeys finally settling into themselves; juggling playful images of love, loss and life in perpetual motion with shimmering guitar jetstreams and show-stopping rhythm section interludes.

But there are still pleasant consistencies: we’re treated to perhaps the most tender and soulful tune they’ve yet committed to tape in the form of Love Is A Laserquest which continues their endearing predilection for introspective ballads (see Riot Van, The Only Ones Who Know and Secret Door for more information). We also get a (now standard?) mid-tempo love song with Piledriver Waltz that’s definitely equal to the likes of Mardy Bum, Florescent Adolescent and Cornerstone.

Overall Suck It And See has a lasting quality that makes up for the service station comfort break that was 2009’s Humbug, however the whiskey soaked ventures into haunted forest atmospherics are still present and have yet to be shaken off by a band still too youthful for such bitter grown up antics. Stick to the guitar pop, boys, there’s still plenty of time to emulate Nick Cave and Tom Waits... and don’t worry about trying to impress Queens Of The Stone Age’s Josh Homme (who co-produced Humbug) with limp interpretations of stoner rock and cactus blues, he’s only a ginger and can’t hurt you.

4/5

A brief encounter with low

I’m munching Maltesers and trying to stave off the side-effects of not taking my antidepressants for the last four days. I was only expecting to be away from college for one whole day so I thought rather than risk loosing them in transit I’d just not take one pill. I hadn’t accounted for my girlfriend’s depression flaring up quite so much. I’ve had a telephone consultation with the doctor and they’ve written me out a new prescription to keep me going. I’ll pick that up this afternoon.

I woke up this morning feeling a bit short tempered which is what motivated me to get out of bed and arrange getting more medication. I just hope these feelings don’t continue now that we’re both struggling with withdrawal symptoms.

I need to do some washing today because I only brought over with me what I was wearing. If I get that done and dried out by tomorrow morning then I might go for a wander in to town to try and take my mind off things.

I was going to arrange not returning to college at all and only go back this week to pick up my belongings, but now I think I might just stay until the end and get something valuable from the six months work experience I’ll do once I leave.

I fancy a curry today so I might grab one from the shop when I go to pick up my prescription.

Arctic Monkeys at the Don Valley Bowl

The doors opened for the Arctic Monkeys gig at five o’clock in the afternoon/evening, which seemed very early so I decided it would be best if we left the house at five thereby missing a support act or two. I was somehow expecting a large tent in the middle of the Don Valley Bowl, which would look weird, but in actual fact it was a massive arena sized tent just on site and not within the stadium perimeter itself. We rode in on the tram and as we came to the right stop there were a few exclamations from other passengers and, assumedly, visitors to the gig along the lines of “oh, that’s where they’ve put it!!”… so at least it wasn’t just me wondering how it was going to be set out.

We got through the gates fine and they didn’t ask to check for proof of my disability which was good as it would have felt a bit demeaning (although I did have proof on me). I was using my cane anyway so it was pretty clear that I had a problem.

There were lots of food and drinks stalls outside the music tent and we indulged in a few. It felt more like a beer festival than a standard rock concert. We had a pork roll, some southern fried chicken and, later on, a bacon and cheeseburger. There were plenty of toilets including a male urinal section, which was strange to do outside.

After a couple of Gaymers ciders (which was lush and tasted nicer than horrible Strongbow) we went and found the disabled platform and made ourselves comfortable. We were miles away from the actual stage but no more so than some of the regular audience members who were struggling to get anywhere near the main event.

We’d stayed away for the first two support acts but sat down for Miles Kane, who was only ok but seemed to get the crowd very excited. I wondered for a second whether his road crew were pumping pre-recorded crowd cheers through the speakers as I’m just not convinced Miles Kane is that popular. He seemed quite cocky onstage and seems to be riding on his association with Alex Turner and the Arctic Monkeys quite comfortably. His set reminded me a lot of Cast, but not quite as good.

When the Arctic Monkeys did finally come on they kept to the same setlist as the previous night (Friday), which was a shame as it felt like we weren’t getting anything particular to our night. Still, it was very enjoyable and I got very excited when they started. I’m still convinced they went out of time a couple of times on the first song. The transition from A View From The Afternoon to Brianstorm was very successful and it felt like the two songs were written for each other. I was amazed how giddy I was when they played Crying Lightning from their previous album as the whole record was hardly a career highlight… it just seemed to work very well in a live setting.

I had to go to the disabled chemical toilet a few times the more I drank, which is typical, but I’m glad it was nice and spacious and not too smelly. We were sat amongst a nice group of people although once the Monkeys started going a guy turned up on crutches and proceeded to drunkenly swing them around his head (almost hitting my girlfriend).

I hadn’t planned to stay to the end as I knew it’d be a bugger trying to get on public transport with 2,000 other punters so we left after I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor which seemed aptly timed about two thirds of the way through their set. It didn’t seem to matter that we’d left early however as we could still hear the concert from the tram stop half an hour later and caught the next three or four songs.

We rode back into Sheffield centre and got the bus home. I needed the toilet again all the way home and almost had a sneaky wee in the doorway of an abandoned building next to the bus stop, but resisted thank goodness.

All in all it was a successful evening and we really enjoyed ourselves. I’m glad they had food stalls on because it stopped me getting too drunk (a total of eight pints were downed by the end of the night… eek!!). It’s a shame the gig wasn’t quite as intimate as I thought it’d be but I guess I’ll never see the Arctic Monkeys in a small venue until maybe they’re in the twilight of their careers (and I in mine… whatever that turns out to be, lol). Two thumbs up, lads!!!

More monkey business

I wish I could say things are improving at college, but they aren’t. At the end of each week I feel tempted to pack up my gear and leave for good. Part of me thinks I should stick it out until the end… but another part of me doesn’t want them to have the money. What they’ve taught me in three and a half months could have been done in a fortnight and, with two and a half months to go, I just don’t think there’s any more they’re prepared to teach. Shame on them.

I’m staying at home for a few extra days this week because my girlfriend is still having problems coming off her medication. I think she’s finally come to the conclusion that she needs to stay on them for a bit longer/permanently and so today I’ll be going with her to the doctor to try and explain things. She needs to be signed off work for a while too as she seems to be hitting the same career wall I did back in 2007/8… and it’s not a nice place to be.

We went to the Arctic Monkeys’ homecoming gig on Saturday at the Don Valley Bowl in Sheffield. It was more like a mini-festival than a regular rock concert as the band had erected a gargantuan tent the size of an aircraft hangar and provided an array of food and drink stalls outside to keep all us growing rock buffs sustained throughout the evening. Luckily I had listened to their new album a lot since it was released last week so I was able to get excited when they played the new stuff live. I was surprised how gleeful I was when they played the odd tune from Humbug… they seem to work better live. The whole event was great fun and the staff were very helpful with me and my visual impairment. My girlfriend and I had access to the disabled platform which was beneficial as I would have struggled being amongst the crowd.

I’ve made a list of people I need to call while I have these extra few days off. I might even call the Jobcentre about finishing my course early. There are probably local colleges better set up and more inclined to teach than the institutionalised mess I’m currently stuck at.

What a palaver!!

I might post again later.

Little Miss Negativity

I’d like to say that my mood has improved since I’ve been home this week but, alas, it has remained in descent. My mission here has been to look after my girlfriend as she comes off her antidepressants and part of the brief was to cope with her mood swings, periods of despair, negativity and outbursts of temper. It’s not been fun. She was awake at 2am last night crying and I had to try to comfort her. When you suffer from depression too it’s hard to be positive and bring someone else out of it. I’m managing though… I think. I enjoy these pockets of quiet when I can collect my thoughts and regroup my strength for when the battle starts up again. I only hope this is the final wave of the comedown and not how she will always be without the tablets… I’ve only known her whilst she’s been on medication.

We’re meeting up with friends tomorrow and doing some things together next week so I hope that that will brighten her up a bit. She needs to get away and look at her life from a different perspective. Hopefully she’ll realise that things aren’t quite as bad as she thinks. Who knows.

I’ve not felt much inspired by other things this week. I looked around a music shop and started getting interested in the recording and mixing equipment. There was a small-ish mixing desk for about £400 in the shop window and, as I looked at it, there was a familiarity to the set-up which proves that I’m learning something at college.

I’m still not looking forward to going back to college but then again being cooped up here with Little Miss Negativity is bringing me down quite dramatically. At least college will feel less claustrophobic and be the lesser of two evils.

Sigh.

That sinking feeling

I’ve still not heard back from my tutor regarding my decision to stay at home this week. Either he’s auctioned my email but not bothered to reply or he’s not read it and people around the college are wondering where I am. I don’t seem to have any messages on my mobile phone though, so I’m assuming the former has happened.

I might ring an old friend today who did the same course ten years ago and get his advice. I really do feel disenchanted at the moment and am not looking forward to going back to college on Sunday at all. At least my girlfriend will be travelling over with me.

I might go into town this week and look at music equipment to see if anything seems familiar. Maybe I’ve learnt more than I realise. Who knows. At least I’m developing an interest in music equipment beyond guitars.

I feel a little lost.

This is the first time in ages that I’ve wanted to lose myself in booze. I could quite happily go to the pub now and stay there until they have to carry me out. That wouldn’t be fair on my girlfriend though. I might “treat” myself to a bottle of wine tonight, but that might turn out to be the slippery slope.

I should start writing and get a story underway. Why can’t I get cracking on something? It’s all there in my head… it just won’t move down to my fingertips.

I guess I’m a failure and an utter waste of space. If I was meant to achieve something I suppose I would have done it by now. But I haven’t. I’ve just wasted hours and days and months and years. And do you know what? I let it happen willingly. I’m just a lazy armchair artist who hasn’t got the courage of his conviction. I can talk the talk… I just can’t walk the walk :(

Decreasing motivation in the face of apathy

Well the last week and a half at college has been a mixed bag of wasted time and false starts. Our tutors keep cancelling lessons in favour of menial tasks involving college promotion whilst my attempts to start my own music project have been hampered by my own lack of confidence as a performer. I think it’s safe to say that, without the other non-music lessons to keep me going, coming back to college this term would have been pretty pointless.

My girlfriend has been coming off her antidepressants recently and seems to be struggling at home and in work. I’ve sent an email to my college tutor explaining that I need to be at home and that I will not be returning to college today… I just don’t think being away from home at the moment is worth it. Also I need to investigate into work experience for college so maybe I’ll do that if I get a chance this week.

There was an incident on Thursday night which has gotten me a little concerned and unsettled. After a late night in the student bar I returned to my room and ordered a takeaway food delivery. About half an hour later the dorm warden rang me very angrily explaining that my food had arrived and that I wasn’t to expect her to tell me about it. After I picked up my order I texted the warden and asked to discuss what just happened as I didn’t think her attitude was particularly fair. This proved an error as the following conversation descended into an argument and ended up with me hanging up. The situation wasn’t helped by me being rather drunk and downhearted, however the warden seemed to antagonise me further and be acting very unreasonably. I’m not sure whether to complain about the incident or not as my judgement and viewpoint is very hampered by my poor memory of what happened. Oh well, we shall see if anything is mentioned when I return next week.

I’m glad to be home for a little while longer and I’m really looking forward to finishing college for good. The warnings I’d received from previous students on the music course have turned out to be correct: it’s a waste of time and I’ll walk away feeling bitter and used. At the very least it’s given me guidance for what I might want to do in the future… unfortunately the path I choose will have to involve a lot of self-tuition.

I wanted this six months away from home to be worth it and it’s slowly turning out not to be. Cheers guys. Much appreciate :(

Back out west

Well I’m back at college. I’m trying to work on my own music project in the hope that it will force me to learn something. The lecturers seem keen to set me on something productive so everybody’s happy. I just hope I have the confidence to work on music I’ve written myself and be able to master the studio equipment.

It’s weird trying to work on my music in public away from my home comfort zone. I don’t know why I get shy about it as I’ve recorded in front of friends and relatives before and it never bothers me. I don’t know why college staff/students are so different. I think it’s just me that’s different, not them.

I’m slowly adjusting to being back in halls of residence again but I’m attempting to keep a low profile this term. I’m not going to go out drinking on “school nights” anymore and will try and get the most out of being here in an academic sense.

I’m also going back to my old work diet: no breakfast; no lunch; and whatever turns up at dinner. I’m not checking the college menu obsessively like I was last term which was making me hungry. I’ve stocked up on healthy-ish snacks in my room which should stop me ordering takeaways and loading up on sandwiches in the canteen.

I had a good counselling session today and I think I was able to explain my fears and concerns concisely. I always worry that I won’t make sense, but I guess that’s the whole point of going... to try and make sense of all my confused thoughts and feelings.

I keep forgetting to look for a new external dvd drive for my laptop as my current/old one is on it’s last legs and takes ages to get going. Sigh. All I do out of hours here is watch dvds, so I could do with a better one. Fingers crossed I can get a cheap one that’s still better than my knackered one.

The weather is very erratic at the moment and it’s hard to know how to dress from one minute to the next. You can go for a sunny walk in shorts and a t-shirt and come back soaking wet. Weird.

Righty, must go watch Friends... (on dvd of course... slowly lol)

Heat wave!!

The last few days has involved a lot of cooling down as the temperature has really soared. Let’s call it what it is: a heat wave. Although this morning it seems to be a lot cooler so I guess I’ll be out doing the gardening later.

Tonight I’m going to take part in a pub quiz with my girlfriend and a couple of her friends. We met up with them on Saturday and had a good time. Since it was a lunch date I drank alcohol responsibly but I think the quiz tonight will remain “dry”. I know what I get like during night time drinking sessions… not good.

We had a bbq yesterday which was nice, although some undercooked sausages may have given us tender tummies today. I received a call from our old housemate threatening to turn up later on in the evening but they never did. I’m keeping my ears open today as, well, you never know. The phone call made us all very tense in the house and provided a reminder to my girlfriend that she needs to figure out what she wants to do in life. I do too, of course, but her situation is more volatile at the moment.

Because my girlfriend’s been off for the past five days I’ve not had a chance to do any music recording. Not that I would have in this heat, but it’d be nice to have the option. I’ll try and get two demos done before I head back to college next week.

I’ve bought some new clothes that are more befitting the summer months. They look quite nice and hopefully make me look a little less out of place. I also bought some new trainers which I’m getting used to… I received a nasty blister the other day during an evening walk around the block, ouch!!!

I’m meant to research work experience placements while I’m off but I’m not sure where to look or how far down the line I’m meant to go in terms of contacting people. I might look into the local universities and colleges to see if they have music departments I could work in. That would be cool.

There’s some leftover special fried rice in the fridge from the takeaway we had last night (yes, after the bbq, eek) which I quite fancy for breakfast. Naughty boy!!

I’m really getting into the Band of Brothers dvd box set while I’m off. It’s a proper period-drama-for-boys and is as good as I’d hoped it would be. I might even buy it in the shops as it’s only about £20 at the moment.

Well, I best start putting the day into motion…

Home for the hols

I came back to Sheffield last Friday for the Easter break. It’s nice being at home but I have come down with a rather severe case of hay fever so I’ve spent this week feeling quite, quite rotten.

I want to record some music demos while I’m off to take back to college so I can start learning to use the recording gear there properly. Fingers crossed I’ll feel better next week so I can crack on with that.

When I return to college I might try and get another move as I’m getting fed up with the collection of dullards in my section of the dorm. I thought I was pretty straight laced but these guys seem to provide a new definition for the phrase. I think they’re just self serving control freaks who find it hard to be honest about themselves, so perhaps my own brand of insular self deprecation doesn’t mix well (or maybe it mixes too well and gives them something to abuse).

My old house has finally been sold by the mortgage lender and the shortfall isn’t as bad as I’d feared. Nevertheless I’m going to see about applying for a Debt Relief Order in the hope that I can start focusing on my future. I hope that I can keep my remaining musical equipment as losing that will mean a real set-back.

I must stay in contact with friends while I’m off on holiday. There are a couple of nice people at college that I’d like to stay in touch with, but being the uncertain and under confident person that I am, I’m not 100% sure they want to stay in touch with me. I am a silly sod sometimes, but what can you do?

My end of term reports at college were generally ok, but there was one from my least favourite tutor that required explaining. It was at that stage that I raised my concerns about the lack of continuity, focus and organisation in the training being provided. If we’re meant to teach ourselves then why are we paying for specialist tuition at a residential college?

My girlfriend has got a few things planned for the period that I’m off. Let’s hope we’re both in the mood when it comes round to it. We’re terrible for cancelling plans at the last minute. Just a mini-pub crawl would be nice, however I’m not too fussed about drinking when I’m at home… it’s surreal enough here, alcohol only seems to sober me up, lol.

We’re looking after a friend’s two guinea pigs while they are away on holiday and we’re quite enjoying the extra company. Our own guinea pig doesn’t seem to care about the new arrivals however the rabbit has been extra playful when we take her out of the hutch so I’m wondering if she’s making an extra effort in the fear that she’s going to be replaced. She won’t, of course, and the new arrivals will be off home soon.

The sun’s finally hit this fine land and I still haven’t got much summer wear that fits me. I bought some shorts the other week but I still need a pair of trainers and some lighter shirts. I look daft in smart shoes and dark colours. Oh well, I hardly ever fit in anyway.

Right, must dash, I have a runny nose to wipe, yuk!!

"Angles" - The Strokes (album review)

It’s always nice when a song comes along that hits so many giddy nerves in your body that it makes you whistle and skip from the breakfast table right through to your midnight cereal raid… and it just so happens that “Under Cover Of Darkness” on The Strokes’ fourth album Angles is one of those tunes. In fact it’s so riff-tastic and catchy that you almost curse yourself for not coming up with the idea first.

Thankfully though this isn’t the only gem on the band’s long awaited (and much feared by this reviewer) follow-up to the deeply flawed First Impressions Of Earth which frontman Julian Casablancas managed to spoil almost single-handedly with a collection of vocal melodies which plunged to the very nadir of songwriting craft. Angles, predictably much like it’s title, has a few new angles to it, but the resulting record is neither confused nor rambling… it’s also mercifully shorter than it’s overlong predecessor.

From the colourful opener Machu Picchu onwards it’s clear that The Strokes have finally remembered how to infuse a bit of sunlight and fun into their garage rock groove and have brushed away the cobwebs of the past to march ahead to a more promising, productive and artistically valid future.

There are some lovely 80s flavours to the album, so much so in fact that on tracks like “Two Kinds Of Happiness” and “Games” you half expect Cyndi Lauper to make a guest appearance and wink cheekily through your speakers with a mouth full of bubblegum.

Elsewhere there are more earnest experiments into Radiohead-style alt-rock that thankfully aren’t left field enough to spoil the flow of the record and end up being entertaining in their own right. For those yearning for a reminder of their first two albums then “Taken For A Fool” comes with a lush chorus that must’ve been picked straight up off the cutting room (on fire) floor.

Angles is certainly one of the better albums to appear during this guitar-rock lull and the shoulder pad inducing synths are mixed well with the band’s familiar retro sound.

Give it a go… it’s a very rewarding “grower”.

4/5

The best and worst of both worlds

I think this is now my fourth week at college studying Music Technology. I’m still trying to figure out what to do with the skills I’m picking up when I leave but at the same time hoping that I’ll pick up enough in the relatively short time that I’m meant to be here. I’m enjoying the music production side, but find it very hard setting up musical equipment as my night blindness causes certain health and safety issues... basically I’m worried about tripping over mic leads and denting my face on the side of a grand piano. My tutors are really nice guys (although one needs to tone down the “bad cop” act a bit... I respond better to the lighter touch) and the atmosphere in the music department is very laid back. Actually it’s so laid back that I’ve struggled a bit to acclimatise to the uneven pace (sometimes rushed and frantic, sometimes slow and chilled).

I seem to be clicking socially with people outside my course more, which I sort of expected. There are the usual soap opera dramas going on including tears and arguments, but I’m trying to stay out of that and generally keep myself to myself. A few of us are trying to make a habit of going for drinks outside of the college as we’re not massive fans of the student bar (too many kids acting tough and too much loud music... do I sound like a grumpy old git? Lol).

For the first few weeks I seemed to forget what it was like being at home and so this week it came as a shock when I did finally go home and was reminded of what I was missing. It felt like I’d been away for months. I didn’t realise how much I missed my girlfriend until I saw her on Thursday and we had a long hug and spent the weekend just mooching around the house together eating takeaways... perfect.

I’ll make sure I go home every couple of weeks to remind myself of why I’m actually at college in the first place as I really was starting to forget.

We shall see.

I’ve neglected my own music writing while I’ve been here and away from my guitars. Being amongst professional musicians has made me feel like a bit of a fraud and a food and I’m finally appreciating proper musical craftsmanship rather than my own amateur noodlings.

Anyway, I hope to post a little more regularly now that I’m gradually settling in.

Right, onwards and upwards...

A student at 30

I’m writing to you from sunny Hereford in the college library. I’ve escaped to here from the canteen as it gets a bit like a kindergarten in there at times. Very stressful.

I’m enjoying the music course but finding it a little hard to understand so far. I’ve been a big fish in a small pond up until now.

The college accommodation is nice, although I’m sharing a lodge/cabin thingy with two brothers who were already here when I arrived... so I feel like I’m intruding a little.

I’ve made some new friends which is great. We go out drinking a lot to the student bar and have some bleary mornings, lol. I mustn’t drink too much or I’ll stop learning, but I’m tempted tonight because I feel a little stressed.

Things haven’t changed much since I was last here eleven years ago, apart from a new lick of paint here and there.

I’m only here for four months so I’m guessing time will pass quite quickly. I might go home this weekend but if the train strikes are still on then I won’t bother. I can’t be arsed with rail replacement buses.

I’ve heard that there might be riots in Sheffield this weekend due to a local political conference or something, so that’ll give me another reason not to head home.

Not sure how often I’ll update this while I’m here, although I do need to get my creative writing skills up to speed as my mind keeps going blank when I hit the keyboard, eek!!

Handymen, assassins, playwrights and aliens

Yesterday I signed on for hopefully the last time for four months as I should start college in less than two weeks. Apparently I’m getting some pro-forma in the post to fill out, erm, yippee. My last signing went rather smoothly. I mentioned that I’ll need to change my job search agreement when I return from college as I’ll be looking for music and media related stuff. We shall see how that goes.

My girlfriend and I had a nice night in for Valentine’s Day. I bought her a card, some chocolates (most important!!) and some bath stuff from Lush. She seemed to like it. I got a card and a bottle of wine from her. Not sure when I’ll drink it though. We watched some episodes of 30 Rock together but then she seemed to really feel the cold and had to sit on the sofa with a duvet wrapped round her. I let her go to bed and warm up and after a while I joined her. Nothing romantic happened once I was up there, but it’s not like I was in the mood or awake enough anyway.

I bought a new guitar lead from a music shop that’s just opened in town. I can’t hook up my effects board without it. I’m looking forward to trying it out. Am I sad for getting excited about testing a piece of wire? Yes, ok, maybe I am.

We’ve got our usual handyman in fitting a rail for the shower curtain. There was a temporary one that was just spring loaded onto the wall. It was rubbish but did the job. I’m not a big fan of babysitting workmen, but what can you do. For some strange reason my girlfriend never books them to come out when she’s in the house. Funny that.

I bought Luc Besson’s Nikita in a charity shop in Scarborough the other day and started watching it yesterday without the subtitles on. My eyesight’s so bad now that it’s too hard to read subtitles so it’s easier for me just to guess what’s going on. I know the Nikita story pretty well anyway, so I’m not too fussed about he fine details. It’s nice to watch a foreign film for a change, rather than reading it.

I’m trying to think of ideas for plays that me and my girlfriend can write and perform together. She gets sudden bursts of motivation for doing things but when it comes round to actually doing them she manages to find herself feeling ill with a vague malady. Oh well, I try to be as positive as I can and always sound up for trying new things.

We’re going to the cinema tomorrow with some friends to see that new Pegg/Frost film “Paul”. Apparently it’s getting mixed reviews, but I wouldn’t expect anything more/less from those two. It sounds like a three star film, which will do me fine. I hope there aren’t too many kids and teenagers at the screening as I can’t handle the noise and threat of being teased.

I think the handyman’s arrived, so must go and tend to that…

Travelling without moving

It’s all quiet on the old housemate front… but for how long? She made some angry and confused/drunk phone calls about her benefits and the house but things are now eerily quiet. I’m sure things will kick off again soon. We keep putting the chain on the door when we’re in the house so she can’t sneak in. Just had a call from her doctor checking that this was the right address for her but I said she’d moved and we haven’t got any forwarding details.

I’ve finally got my criminal record clearance through for college. It was all clean and spotless as expected. There’s been no word from the college, but I’ll give them a call today. Fingers crossed the next time I sign on will be my last for a while.

We went to Scarborough for the day yesterday, which was really nice. The weather wasn’t great but we enjoyed ourselves regardless. We had a nice lunch and played on the penny arcades. My gf had a bit of a panic attack and felt down but then seemed to level out. I got a bit frustrated as I’d hoped the day would take her mind off things. We took the coach up (£10… cha ching!!) so it was pretty easy going.

I need to clean the bathroom as it’s getting really icky. I hate going in there and using the toilet. We’ve got a workman coming to fix a new shower railing and I feel guilty about him having to see the state of the room. Not sure I’ve got time to do it today, but I’ll get it sorted. I hope.

I’ve still not heard from my dad. If he’s moved then he’s not furnishing anyone with a forwarding address. Oh well, we’re a troubled lot so I can understand if he wants to see the back of us.

I’m still in contact with my old friend from college and we have great chats on the phone. My gf isn’t used to me having friends so she gets a bit “funny” about me talking to him for so long. She’ll have to get used to it as she’s got loads of close friends that she talks to for ages and meets up with all the time. I might go down and meet up with him before I start college.

Anyway, better go and listen out for the door…

“Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps” – film review

I’m not sure what the moral implications are of watching a sequel before the original, but I’ve not really been that keen on catching Wall Street 1 but sort of guessed what the general gist of it was and heard roughly how it ended.

So, how does watching a sequel “blind” work out?

I guess I’ll find out when I finally watch the original, but for some reason I was attracted to seeing Money Never Sleeps to satisfy certain curiosities… namely, why does a director who tends to tackle quite serious political issues in one-off releases feel the need to dig out a film he made twenty years ago and make his first ever sequel?

I’ve not seen many Oliver Stone films, not because he’s a bad director or a boring visualist, but because, like Martin Scorsese, his usual subject matters don’t tend interest me very much. On the odd occasion that he does stray away from war films or political musings then you’ll find me forking out the cash for a reduced-to-clear dvd copy.

There’s an important and valid point made in Money Never Sleeps which the news media really needs to make clear to the general public when the country falls into another recession: a capitalist economy is cyclical, you’ll get dips and crashes in the market but this needs to happen in order for it to regenerate itself… so don’t panic!! Numbers can’t hurt you, things will work out in the end and people, lives and relationships are far more important than year end bonuses. Freedom and wealth can’t be counted and felt in bank balances and possessions.

I did brace myself for an angry film about sharp suited yuppies clambering for money and power, but I’m guessing that’s what the original film was about. Even though this one sort of starts off like that, it actually turns out to be a very sweet and warm hearted little film that wants to inspire people to push themselves to improve the world for the greater moral good rather than for personal gain.

There’re ace performances from the lovely (oh so lovely) Shia LaBeouf (who’s managing to prove that he’s not just another young stud from the Hollywood cookie cutter to end up in the forgotten footnotes of movie casting history), Michael Douglas (one of my favourite movie stars… he’s just so cool and nobody gets angry quite like him) and Carey Mulligan (who’s stunning emotional breakdowns and twinkly, tear filled eyes are given extra screen time and pauses by Stone’s adoring camera).

Money Never Sleeps is a film about hope and believing in doing the right thing even though it doesn’t earn you millions and billions of sweet, sweet dosh.

Give it a go, then watch the first one.

Old friends, old enemies, old problems

Well our old housemate decided not to move back in... I'm not sure why, but it still wouldn't surprise me if they turned up on the doorstep at the end of the month.

I've still not had my clearance through to start college. If it comes through in the next week or so then I'll start at the end of Feb. I'm getting fed up of waiting.

I got back in touch with an old friend from college. He rang me yesterday and we had a long chat for about two hours. It was great because we're now both into guitars and had more in common than last time. I have missed him over the years, he's a great guy.

I'm starting to record a medley using a click track. I want to warm myself up for starting my music course. I'm having a lot of fun.

My gf and I are going to the theatre tomorrow, which I'm not really looking forward to. Can you think of a way I can get out of it? Eek!!

I'm trying to do more exercise. Fingers crossed I can keep it up.

I've managed to get my gf into 30 Rock, which is cool. It is top aces. I'm going to order the third series on dvd.

Right, better be off, see ya!!

"Scott Pilgrim vs The World" - film review

“Alfie tells the story of a young man who leads a promiscuous lifestyle until several life reversals make him rethink his purposes and goals in life.”

- Alfie (1966 film), Wikipedia

“Slacker:
someone who, while being intelligent, doesn't really feel like doing anything.”

- The Urban Dictionary

“Me and some guys from school
Had a band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Joey got married
Shoulda known we'd never get far”

- from “Summer of 69” by Bryan Adams

The self-indulgent fantasies we have throughout our lives include themes of revenge, heroism, regret and sex. Scott Pilgrim vs The World joins a steadily mounting list of films such as Kick-Ass, Brazil, American Psycho, Inglorious Bastards and Once Upon A Time In America where the reality of what we’re watching is blurred by the suggestion that we are not watching events from a third person perspective, but from a first person perspective.

Scott Pilgrim, Kick-Ass and Brazil all feature fairly ordinary young men who go about their lives in a daze, fantasizing about being somebody they’re not and achieving things they can only dream about. In Brazil this is clear, most of the time Jonathan Pryce’s character Sam Lowry drifts off into soft-focus fantasies about being a winged hero rescuing a damsel in distress but eventually finds the reality of enacting such a scenario in real life far more complicated and painful. In Kick-Ass the fantasy is vague and based on how the viewer perceives things. Our main character pretends to be gay in an attempt to maintain a deception-based relationship with a girl he is in love with. The justification for this lying alter-ego manifests itself in a world of superheroes, where retaining ones secret identity is just as important and acceptable. Scott Pilgrim seems to be a little of both. A lot of what goes on in the film is clearly a fantasy, but there is no definition between the real world and the comic book/video game/superhero world. They are all integrated and intertwining in Scott Pilgrim’s mind.

The revenge fantasy of Inglorious Bastards presents an alternate reality where high ranking Nazi’s receive different and much more personally motivated ends and shares themes with Sergio Leone’s gangster epic Once Upon A Time In America about characters who cope with unresolved issues and feelings of guilt or desires for revenge through fantasy. It is believed that in Once Upon A Time In America the scenes where Robert DeNiro’s character Noodles returns to New York as an old man and attempts to solve a thirty year old mystery are the mere opium fuelled dreams of a guilt-ridden young man. With this in mind, you could argue that Inglorious Bastards ends at the beginning with the young girl escaping certain death from murderous Nazi’s through an open field… the rest of the film is her revenge fantasy unfolding as she flees. Scott Pilgrim gets his chance to revise the ending to his own movie, but not so subtly… he can just rewind events and play them out differently, something we’ve all wanted to do from time to time. I suppose you can forgive this time-bending attempt to wash away feelings of defeat and regret, after all, Pilgrim is being forced to play out the extremely petty revenge fantasies of seven other characters.

Towards the end of Scott Pilgrim vs The Word the titular lead character apparently earns the “power of self respect”. However he seems to have nothing but misguided ego and self-respect throughout the film as he lies and cheats his way through a series of meaningless relationships. Somewhere down the line Scott Pilgrim has convinced himself that this is acceptable behavior. He is another Patrick Bateman, and as with the American Psycho “serial killer” how can we possibly trust what our antihero tells us. If he is a liar and a cheat, then why should we accept anything that we see? Has the whole violent series of events we’ve just witnessed been just part of his fantasy?

Taken at face value Scott Pilgrim vs The World is a film let down by a central romance involving two attractive but rather dull and heartless people and never really recovers from it’s weakest but most pivotal plot point: if Scott Pilgrim has to fight seven ex-partners of a girl he’s only just met and knows very little about, how long will it take for him (and the audience) to get fed up and question whether she’s actually worth it?

Not long.

But as a first person fantasy about lust and wish fulfillment it’s an exciting visual spectacle with an abundance of strong supporting characters that add dimension to an otherwise cold little movie. In fact the film really seems to crank up a notch when Jason Schwartzman arrives on screen towards the end. He does so well to brighten things up that you sort of wish they’d written him into earlier parts of the film.

Anyway, none of this matters of course, as it was all just a dream…

"Speed Racer" - film review

Caught somewhere between Who Framed Roger Rabbit and Star Wars Episode II Attack Of The Clones, the purpose of Speed Racer seems not to evoke the cardboard feel of it’s origins but to exist in a bouncy Warner Brothers universe that dabbles in the uncertain editing and awkward silences of the Star Wars prequels.

If you’re not sure whether the film’s creative team wants us to take the disjointed and gravity-defying reality of Speed Racer seriously, fear not, the moment some penguins provide a screen wipe whilst waddling through a car factory then you’ll cease to care and accept that you’re just here to enjoy the ride.

Yes the racing scenes are confusing, but the Wachowski’s don’t seem particularly interested in terrestrial car racing, they want you to feel like you’re watching the podrace from The Phantom Menace or the speeder chase in Attack Of The Clones. You sort of work all that out pretty early on and get on board, so don’t worry.

As with JJ Abram’s recent Star Trek resuscitation this is a film about people taking pride in their work and finding passion and creativity in the most greasy and sterile of environments. We all have a purpose, something that drives us, but not everybody can relate to our individual needs in life. Some people are race car drivers, some are businessmen, some are sports commentators, some are gangsters. Whatever. Speed Racer has an abundance of passionate souls who, without their chosen vocation, would be lost in life.

Beyond the look and moral centre of Speed Racer we’re treated to some strong and earnest performances. I’m guessing these days most acting schools come with a “Working With Blue Screen” module that puts budding thesps at ease when speaking and performing to perhaps nothing more than a marker for their eye-line. Things are improving. Emile Hirsch, John Goodman, Susan Sarandon, Christina Ricci, Matthew Fox and Roger Allam all punch through the millions of dollars worth of special effects and give their characters real weight and value, as opposed to some CGI filled efforts where actors stand around looking bemused and slightly frightened.

Some odd pauses could have been trimmed or edited out and the time jumping narrative tightened to avoid some moments of confusion, but these elements seem to add to the heightened quality of the experience.

Speed Racer is fun, dazzling, camp, exciting, silly, surprising, full of heart and definitely worth a viewing. Even though references can be made and comparisons drawn, this really is a unique experience and will leave you desperate to find out how things end.

Go for it.

Invasion of privacy and exit strategies

Well Christmas was pretty rocking and New Year’s was aces as usual… I highly recommend watching Return of the King right before midnight strikes, it puts you on a total high.

I’ve still not started at college yet as my security checks are stuck at one of the many stages. It’s very frustrating to find myself in limbo again.

Our old housemate has decided to move back in again (did they ever really leave? Hmmm) with their partner which will be very awkward. I’m hoping I’m no longer here by the time it happens. I just wish my girlfriend was more assertive and aware of her legal rights, rather than fumbling through arguments with a person she can’t deal with. The uncertainty about this house has gone on for too long, things need to change. I no longer feel safe and secure in my own home. That wandering instinct has begun to rear it’s head once again. I want out of here. I just hope to gawd I get a start date soon. I can’t take this morbid feeling of approaching doom.

I’m trying to develop ideas for stories with the hope that when I go away to college I’ll be inspired to actually write the damn things. I seem to be watching more movies than listening to music at the moment. The music I do listen to tends to be film soundtracks and classical music. I hope I level out and begin listening to rock again by the time I start my music course.

I’m trying to do more exercise and eat a little healthier as I’ve really put on weight recently. It makes me feel good when I do get involved in physical activity. We’ve just bought a Mr Motivator dvd which I used to do when I was a teenager and he’s very good. We tried Zumba but it was crap and really confusing. Not for beginners or the uncoordinated like me.

I could really do with a half day…

The Physical Graffiti On Houses Of The Holy

In my relatively fresh history of enjoying Led Zeppelin I’ve found it difficult to acquire a fondness for their fifth and sixth albums, Houses of the Holy and Physical Graffiti.

I guess it doesn’t help that Houses of the Holy is rife with questionable genre experimentations and a self-indulgent overall theme of how big and successful Led Zeppelin were at the time (the title referring to the enormous stadiums they were regularly playing in and the song The Ocean named after the sea of fans that the band would observe from the stage every night), while double album Physical Graffiti is sprinkled liberally with studio outtakes from previous records that only serve to undermine the album’s flow and consistency.

So, a niggling doubt and theory in my mind grew and blossomed into something rather revelatory: if the title track from Houses of the Holy was left off that record for artistic reasons and added, rather clumsily, to Physical Graffiti… what would happen if it was moved back? In fact, what would happen if you removed all the tracks that weren’t recorded specifically for Physical Graffiti and ditch all but the three intended for Houses of the Holy (The Rover, Houses Of The Holy, Black Country Woman) and put them back where they belonged in place of the three songs (The Crunge, Dancing Days, D’yer Mak’er) that really don’t seem to work on that album?

Well, you have two slightly better albums, that’s what…

Houses of The Holy:

As well as just replacing three songs on Houses of the Holy I had a play around with the tracklist to make it more engaging… pushing the dreamy and beautiful The Rain Song closer to the end where it feels better served and bringing the haunting and strangely ahead-of-it’s-time No Quarter forward to give the middle of the album more power and gravitas. I also keep The Rover as the second track on the album (as it appeared on Physical Graffiti) and try to keep alive the Led Zeppelin tradition of finishing things off with a rootsy stomp with Black Country Woman.

Here’s my “Special Edition” of the album:

1. The Song Remains The Same
2. The Rover
3. Over The Hills And Far Away
4. No Quarter
5. The Ocean
6. Houses Of The Holy
7. The Rain Song
8. Black Country Woman

Physical Graffiti:

The sleeker version of Physical Graffiti has a faster pace, a heightened intensity and a significant musical consistency that the standard Physical Graffiti lacks. The things that bothered me about the album before just don’t stand out so much anymore…. basically the songs sound like they belong together and the “filler” has been trimmed. I understand that just because an album is shorter it does not always mean it will feel shorter, however the original extra seven tracks just seemed to weigh the whole thing down to the point that sometimes, when I played it, the album felt like it was wheezing on the floor.

Here’s how my shortened and preferred version runs:

1. Custard Pie
2. In My Time Of Dying
3. Trampled Under Foot
4. Kashmir
5. In The Light
6. Ten Years Gone
7. The Wanton Song
8. Sick Again

I often feel guilty when I tamper with the intended flow of an album (no matter how much I disagree with it), but in this instance it just feels right.

Give it a go, it’s interesting and fun.