Missing in tedium

It’s been a couple of days now since I last drank, but a background sense of anxiety still persists. I’m plowing on with sobriety though, as I do need to sort some crap out. Even if you give up on the world, sadly the world doesn’t give up on you, stubbornly sending letters and emails and texts and ringing you.

It’s not easy being a depressed, disabled, alcoholic shut-in!

The hot weather persists too, much to my chagrin. I’m breathing a little easier today though, which makes a nice change. Plenty of chilled or quick to cook food arrived earlier, so I’ve got that to be getting on with. The delivery was late, but I didn’t even get a halfhearted apology. Oh well, I don’t get upset about such things. There were two delivery drivers, one of whom I believe was in training. He was a cute younger lad, who I really could have done with keeping for myself.

Maybe some day.

“Obnoxious Camp Guy” eventually got really drunk last night, with things degenerating into a very loose approximation of “karaoke”. It was as if he was reverting to animal form. Seriously. But, hey, we’ve all been there. Due to all this, he has been oddly quieter today. I wonder why.

The phone company has sent me a text about them posting another set of digital phone equipment for installation, even though they’ve already sent some out and comically asked me to send it back. I didn’t. The installation chap is turning up on Monday, so I’ll try getting him to return whichever one he wants back to his employer. I sure as shit ain’t going through the monumental arse-ache of doing it.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my collapsing mental health and what’s caused it, as preparation for ringing the local blind society for counselling. I’ve settled on it being a combination of my best friend/ex-girlfriend passing away a few years ago, therefore essentially leaving me alone in Sheffield, and my constantly deteriorating eyesight and general mental health problems. I’m just frightened of everything and everyone all the time, and I need some help with that. My doctor will just ram antidepressants down my throat and send me on pointless courses, which will have little to no useful affect.

I’ve been watching more cute YouTube videos to calm my soul. I don’t watch broadcast television anymore, due to my growing aversion to the English accent, so I try to stick to foreign channels on YT. You just know they’re not filled with hate and intolerance like English people.

I’ve just started watching Missing in Action 2: The Beginning, as research for a cultural review article over at The Whittling Post. Apparently it’s really the first movie, but they switched the two round when the studio saw how bad it was. They were worried it’d kill the public’s desire for a sequel. I’m not sure that that’s sound thinking, but whatever. I’ve decided to watch them in their intended order. I’m guessing it’s going to be Rambo II, only without the charisma of Sylvester Stallone.

Yikes.

I had a pretty poor night’s sleep last night, managing only about four hours in bite-sized chunks. I seem to be at the age now where I don’t need a solid eight, so I’m just getting on with things. I have managed two wanks today, which clears the cobwebs out of my troubled mind very nicely indeed.

I’ve had no contact with the outside world, apart from that anxiety-inducing text from the phone company.

Steady as she goes.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!