A dog day afternoon

Well, I seem to have calmed down a little after yesterday’s funny turn. The whole horrible experience began around 2 pm-ish, while I was cooking dinner. There was a really intense sun in the sky around then too, which seemed to pierce into me like a searchlight. Going to bed was definitely the best thing to do, until sundown helped chill me out a little, that is. I’m wondering whether my cyclothymia is gearing up for another major shift. As mentioned in a previous post, I’ve come to suspect that my mental illness has started affecting my whole body. Well, when there’s a more profound shift, at least. I do feel like I’m in limbo a bit at the moment, so maybe all this will help focus my interests. I’m sad that I’ve moved on from reading history books, but these things do happen. Before my history fad, I was obsessed with the Discworld novels. Who knows what’s next. I’ve mostly been listening to that Blurry Photos podcast in bed while searching for something new. At least Flora and Stecco cheer me up.

I finished off watching Harold & Maude, having a good cry during the last five minutes. I mean, how can you not? I’m not sure I like the Cat Stevens soundtrack, as I find his music somewhat saccharine, but it’s a small niggle. I like how Harold’s mother isn’t a stock mean mum, as she genuinely seems to want to help her depressed son throughout the film, even going so far as to set him up with a woman he doesn’t particularly approve of. She does get frustrated with Harold from time to time, but I suppose we all would. I also managed to catch the brief glimpse of Maude’s sinister tattoo this time. The shot lasts for less than a second, but it says so much about her character. Some literal-minded commentators have said a person like her wouldn’t have been in a German concentration camp that tattooed arms during the war, but it’s never made explicit where she got it. This is a work of fiction, after all. She’d been on so many adventures and probably experienced so many regimes, that it could have come form anywhere. But, yeah, I get what it’s meant to imply.

So please do watch Harold & Maude, if you haven’t already. Not only does it feature wonderful philosophy, but it’s also very, very funny. Comedy can be intelligent and emotional too, you know.

Fart sound.

Yeah, so I’m not sure what was happening downstairs yesterday as I was having my freak out. The dog was barking for ages, probably reacting to a car alarm, then some people turned up at the tenant’s flat and seemed to take the dog away. I don’t know whether they were friends, family, or somebody official, but I think the oppressive era of the dog is now over.

I hope.

Again, it wasn’t bothering me so much, it was my next door neighbour’s loud and violent reaction to it that was upsetting me. He’s nice once you get to know him. Honest.

I also watched a bit of Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey after the sun went down. It’s a shame they chose the 1.85:1 aspect ratio over Excellent Adventure’s 2.35:1, as the latter has a bit more class. The cinematography is also rather garish, but hopefully that’ll calm down once the film gets going proper. I’m roughly ten minutes in, so I really shouldn’t be making such harsh judgements so soon. I was glad to see Joss Ackland turn up. Can you believe he’s still alive?! That guy has looked on the verge of death for about forty years now. Let’s hope he’s still got a decade or two left in him!

He’ll probably outlive us all.

I’m currently working on a cheesy pop playlist on Spotify, which is tapping into my creative side. Most of my playlists are just album compilations (so I don’t have to rummage around for the next one after the first is finished), but every now and then I actually get caught up in creating a “proper” best of list. I doubt I’ll post a link here, as it’s mostly likely nobody’s taste. Still, it’s helping to buoy my spirits for now.

I had a terrible food experience yesterday, which didn’t help my descent into freak out. I needed to use up a couple of fancy hotdogs, standard mushrooms, and a load of fresh chillies, so I decided to combined them all with a tin of cannellini beans and rice. It was horrid. I may have been able to improve it by simply adding some salt but, for reasons I cannot fathom, I found merely shuffling over to the salt pot and sprinkling some in to be too difficult. I’m tempted to make up for said culinary tragedy by ordering out later on today, but that’s no guarantee of quality either. I may just stick some chips in the oven.

On a more graphic note, I managed to have a wank in bed earlier without any external stimuli or bothering with a towel. This doesn’t happen very often, but my imagination seemed to be whirling. I was going to get up and prepare more, but just ended up shooting all over myself and rubbing it into my tummy like moisturiser. My masturbation routine changes regularly, so maybe this is the new thing my cyclothymia has been working on.

Crazy days!

Oh I checked my electricity meter and it turns out I have £85 credit left so, should I be snowed in today, I’ll be alright for a little while longer. To give myself some credit (no pun intended), topping up to a high amount in case of bad whether was part of the plan a few weeks ago anyway. Go me! I’m not usually so organised.

Ah, I literally just heard a couple of cars driving past my building very slowly and making a noticeable crunching sound with their tires, which isn’t a good sign. Hmmm, I guess a takeaway is now out of the question.

Right, I think I’ll go run my bath. I wonder how long my day will last today. I slept from 9 pm until 1 am, so it looks like I’m sort-of moving my sleep round to a healthier pattern.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!