Crushed to fit

I’m in somewhat of a new headspace this weekend, so it’s taking me awhile to settle into that. I assume, as predicted, that my cyclothymia has shifted. I’m managing to keep to the guidelines of my new positive attitude, so the cyclothymia’s new rules haven’t dug in too deep. So, yeah, I’m still cooking recipes and going on the exercise bike everyday, basically. I just… you know… am not liking the unfamiliarity of this place my head is in.

I’ve just been listening to some The Bends-era Radiohead, which is lots of fun and very colourful. They’ve finally added the b-side “Lewis Mistreated” onto Spotify, which had been missing for years and years. I’m very glad, as it’s one of my favourite songs of theirs (in general, not just as a b-side). Plenty of punk attitude in there. I’ve jammed it in between “Just” and “My Iron Lung” on the Bends-era playlist I created. They seem to work well as a trilogy.

I managed to fuck up cooking sausages earlier. I used the baking tray I’ve been using to make homemade chips in, so there was already a thick crust of dried potato on the bottom. I also chose not to turn the sausages at any point, leading to them being completely fused to the pan when I took them out. I just wanted sausages and egg for my lunch. That’s it. How on Earth can a person mess that up?! But I did. Because it’s me.

I’ve just managed to put in a grocery order for tomorrow, which includes a big pack of pork loin steaks this time, instead of beef mince. Who knows what crazy stuff I’ll concoct with that! Probably curries and stir fries. I put some salad ingredients in the order, just as a change. Guess I’ll need to prioritise them, in terms of meals. Or just use them up for lunches/snacks.

If you’re going to snack, you might as well do it with raw vegetables!

I’ve been watching some Hayao Miyazaki films over the past few days, although I might broaden this to other anime this evening. I fancy watching Akira. I don’t have a reason, as one shouldn’t need a reason to watch Akira.. That Japanese guy I’m chatting to on that dating app is into, well, he calls it “Studio Ghibli” but, like all Ghibli fans, I assume he only watches the Miyazaki ones. Or doesn’t even realise they have different directors. I’ve tried watching the other Studio Ghibli releases, but they’re pretty dull. Speaking of which, I need to dust of and finish watching Miyazaki’s Future Boy Conan series from the 70s. I reckon it was his training ground before going into feature length stuff.

I did ask said Japanese guy if he was “into anything specific”, so there are no great surprises should he actually come round. He initially said “No” but, today, he sent me a bunch of pictures of himself bound and gagged. Sigh. That seems quite specific to me. I mean, is this thing on?! I really hope he wants to actually fuck and not just get me to tie him up on the bed while I sit bored in the corner.

I just want a dick in my mouth, is that so hard?!

Don’t. Say. Anything.

I’m getting frustrated at Amazon again. They seem to be denying me free delivery, when I’m pretty sure I’ve got enough in my cart. They’re just playing mind games, methinks. Never has a company shown so much disdain for its customers. They actually put barriers in the way of you giving them money. Whoever came up with that concept… well… I have no idea how they are still gainfully employed, let’s just say that.

I had another one of those little cushions with an anime character printed on it delivered today, so I’ve got two to snuggle up with in bed now. I suppose many years ago one would call this “sad”, but the world has broadened its mind somewhat in recent years, so I’m not bothered about what people might think. it helps me stop feeling as lonely, so who cares, right? Right. I don’t get on with actual humans, but I’m happy to anthropomorphise inanimate objects.

I certainly get better conversation out of them.

I’m just about to go heat up a portion of my Fruity Mediterranean Chicken “curry” from the freezer. I’m going to add a tin of chopped tomatoes this time, instead of yoghurt. Because… you know… I don’t have any yoghurt.

Hmmm, just saying “Mediterranean” made me want to carry on my Classic Hollywood epic season, so maybe Akira is off. I’m onto Quo Vadis? now, which is a silly title for a movie, and probably why nobody’s ever heard of it. Still, it features more Peter Ustinov, so I’m all in, baby!

Who knows what’ll happen next.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!